"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
When Life Forces You to Pause
What happens when a professional musician suddenly can't play? In this deeply reflective conversation, saxophonist Scott Box joins Dom Lamore to explore the unexpected journey of his recent hand injury and the profound questions it's raised about identity, purpose, and faith.
Scott shares his raw emotional response to being sidelined from performing – the initial depression, the frustration of everyday tasks taking twice as long, and the struggle to find meaning in forced stillness. Yet within this challenge, new perspectives emerge: "Praise God, it gave me an appreciation for having two working limbs... Maybe I need to sit down for a minute and just relax. I've spent more time with my wife already. That's a beautiful thing."
The conversation flows naturally into exploring the demanding lifestyle of professional musicians – late nights, weekend work, and the physical toll of performance. Both men discuss how they prepare their bodies and minds for shows, revealing the athletic discipline required behind the scenes of creative work. Their candid exchange about wedding band dynamics highlights the crucial importance of camaraderie: "That's one of the best hangs in a band that I've ever had. Ever."
Perhaps most compelling is Scott's reflection on his conversion to Islam and the tension it created with his musical career. He thoughtfully questions whether music truly serves a spiritual purpose or merely provides entertainment and dopamine rushes. "We talk about how music brings people together," Scott observes, "but how does it bring people together? Because people coming together is still not a concrete concept." This leads to a fascinating examination of what makes something genuinely spiritual – the practical application rather than just the feeling it provides.
As the discussion deepens, both men share their evolving sense of purpose. For Scott, it's increasingly centered around family relationships rather than career achievements. For Dom, it's about creating opportunities that showcase other artists' talents. Their honest exploration of life's big questions offers listeners a rare window into the inner landscape of working artists wrestling with meaning, authenticity, and intentionality.
Ready to think more deeply about your own purpose and how you engage with the world? Subscribe now, share with friends, and join the conversation about what really matters beyond the noise of everyday life.
We talk about the good. Can you separate the artist from the art? And it's like sure you can do that. But then also, at the end of the day, what fruits did that art itself actually produce that were beneficial to a community of people? Did that art indeed put positive messages into a community? Did it feed a community of people? Did it cause a community of people to come together and do something positive? In society, in american society especially? We talk about how those things happen all the time. Yeah, but we have to talk about it concretely and not just like music brings people together, okay, but how does it bring people together? Because people coming together is still not a concrete concept. They came together and did what we came together and brought further along what ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here.
Speaker 2:My name is dom lamore and you are listening to the black man talking emotions podcast. On today's episode, I speak with my guy, scott Box, about his recent hand injury. Music, religion and so much more. It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is about the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters.
Speaker 2:So I feel like we're in a unique place right now because I feel like the reason why we're able to speak today and it was no conflict or we didn't have to mess anything up it's because you're injured and you're one of those people that you are usually moving and grooving so much that it's really hard to kind of get you for one second like outside of work. When I'm working, you're working with me, and then when I'm at home, you're usually working. I want to start this kind of at where are you at mentally with your injury? As a saxophone player who needs your fingers every day to work, not being able to work playing the instrument that I'm sure you play every single day? How has that affected you? Are you okay? Do you feel like it's been difficult for you, or are you actually enjoying a little bit of the be able to breathe a little bit?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, it's. It's difficult. I can't stand not being able to do stuff. I can't stand not being able to work. I love to work, I love to play, I love to work. The two have become one, in a sense, in my life.
Speaker 1:I was super depressed when it first happened. It's not the first time I've had a debilitating injury that kept me from being able to play. For a few weeks. I feel, you know, I'm like I can't even wash a dish over here. Everything takes me twice as long. It is getting better. It's not like I can't use this hand at all, but I have a forefinger and a thumb, which is also a beautiful thing. Praise God, it gave me an appreciation for having two working limbs. I'll say that much At the end of the day, for me, everything happens with a reason, with a purpose, and I'm still trying to figure out what that is. But maybe I need to sit down for a minute and just relax. I've spent more time with my wife already. That's a beautiful thing. Hopefully it's forcing me to slow down, to really take in everything that I'm doing, to pay attention to details more. So I think these are things that are important in life and I like to go, go, go, go go. So yeah, it's been difficult. I'm really not enjoying it at all.
Speaker 2:I understood some of the struggles you have with us gigging and the way that the wedding band really works and how we're out and about and it takes up so much of our lives, even today. Like I originally planned this to be at two and we started at around two. But like if this was a normal weekend and I wasn't, well, not normal. If this was a weekend, I wasn't working, I would have been able to do this as early as you wanted to and been good to go, but since I worked last night, there's no way I was going to be able to do it before one o'clock. You know, like there's absolutely no way.
Speaker 2:I got home last night, Adrienne had headphones in her ears, which all affects me. Weird, because I usually come in and give her a big kiss and say hi, and she's like I don't want you to touch me. I'm putting headphones on because I need a full night's rest. Leave me alone. And I was like, well damn, I'm just a piece of meat, walking in the dark, getting dressed, brushing my teeth in the dark and trying my best not to wake her up. And then I wake up in the morning to her being like I'm leaving. I was like, oh okay, and so it's just me at the house and I'm not going to see her until tonight and I'm going to be cooking her dinner. She's going to walk in the door like, oh, you're here and I'll be like you left me Anyway.
Speaker 2:But with that being said, it's really interesting seeing how the band really affects my life on a regular basis. It's part of my normal now. It's part of what I prepare for. I prep for I get myself right, I do my yoga and my breathing exercises so that I can be ready to execute the performance but then also recover from the performance. Last night was a particularly different type of wedding. We had about 300 guests when were y'all.
Speaker 2:We were in Birmingham and they had us do a small dance set, so we had a 20 minute dance set to start and they had all the lights up. It was really bright. Everyone was still sitting down. No one was on the dance floor except for a couple of older people got over to dance to Al Green and then we took our break. I came back and you know I'm the emcee, so I started out with the speeches and got everybody talking and up and about. Then we got the band back on stage for 24K Magic, the first song, usually, of the set. Instead of singing it on stage, I did four laps around the room getting people out of their seats so that they would actually go to the dance floor for September.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying and I'm like literally running around the entire venue Get up, get up, get up, get up. Let's go From that start to the end. I may have ran around that room at least 13, 14 times, so I'm more tired tonight than I normally would be. You know what I'm saying and it affects me mentally, physically, spiritually, and so to see how just my body and how I am affected and I'm still like, okay, we're doing this every weekend.
Speaker 2:I can only imagine someone who you know you started with the band pretty much eight years ago. Right, I did this hidden blessing comes out where it's like okay, I see you're struggling, I see this is something that you're doing because you do love it, but it's hard and it's something that's going against some of your morals. It's time for you to take a break, and you're not going to do it yourself, so I'm going to do it for you, kind of blessing. I feel like I see it more as something like oh man, I, actually I get it now. I see it more as something like, oh man, I, actually I get it now. I think that that would be incredible to have that time to really get to sit back, reflect and kind of look forward to what's going to be the next move forward. Are you seeing it in that way? And I know you say you're still not enjoying it, but are you finding those little moments of like okay, yes, yes, this is good. I know it sucks, but this is good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I'm forced to see it that way if I want to have any positivity in my life. Yeah, because I am prone to be very frustrated and get angry very quickly, which is something that I've worked past few years and gotten better and better, better and, god willing, I'll continue to get even better. So in order for me to see things in a positive light, I had to see it that way. And also, exactly what you just said mirrors what my wife has said as well, so it's pretty evident.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's fire. I mean just to kind of pivot to what we do as musicians and artists that travel with the corporate band and then on top of that we're producing different projects outside of that band, trying to keep ourselves moving and working and doing the music that we want to do outside of the corporate stuff that we kind of have to do to make money. To do to make money. It's a lot. It's constantly moving. It's constantly you having to come up with new approaches, ideas. How can you make your next performance more unique than the last performance? Yes, and it always starts from a place of I really love doing this. So to pivot to the music part, where was that moment for you where you were like this is what I love. So I'm willing to endure a lot of this bullshit, to continue to do it, because we all got to say, okay, this is kind of annoying, but I love this so much, I'm going to do it. Where did that start for you?
Speaker 1:When I was younger, my mentality about the whole thing was because I am a musician, this gives me an opportunity to put the instrument to my face, so I'm getting playing time, which means I'm getting better. I'm playing with other musicians, which means I'm getting experience. I'm making money as a musician, which is freeing up my time to be able to practice. In the beginning, that's what it was all about. It was how much can I free up my time so that I can spend time on the instrument, which coincided with if I'm gigging, I'm also spending time on the instrument, yep. However, at this point in this particular band for me it was I really loved hanging out with y'all music. It got to a point where the music wasn't so much helping me put time in on my instrument. I've reached a point now where I need different environments in order to get better. The camaraderie was beautiful and I have, in fact, missed it.
Speaker 2:Understood, understood. I was just talking to someone the other day. They were asking me about the band and they were like, how did you get in it? And I was telling them my story about like oh, I just randomly met this guy and he was like you're good, I'm going to tell this guy about you. And then I was in the band.
Speaker 2:But I spoke about just how one of the biggest things Anthony told me off of our first meeting together was I heard you were a good hang. That was his number one thing. It's so important. I heard you were a good hang and since that was like what we needed we needed good hangs in this band. I didn't need to hear you sing, I just needed someone that I know we could be in a van with for seven hours there and back and you wouldn't be like the most annoying person in the world or you wouldn't be someone who would like kill the vibe of the entire band.
Speaker 2:And I feel like when he approached bringing people in that way, that's what built this camaraderie, because you you were in the band before me. Ben jorge and vanessa and alia were all in the band, so, like you had seen it with the band previous, then you stopped, came back after we were completed and we're a whole different band now, so you got a side of both of them. So do you feel like you noticed that? Oh, we actually. That that's what changed your, because once again, you left the band because you're like, yeah, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 1:and then you came back and then you were like, oh, I could stick around because this is a good hang that's exactly what happened yeah yeah, because in the initial band I was friends with everybody and I did enjoy it, but it was not like it was when I came back. When I came back and then I met y'all and then even to the point of I actually had met van Vanessa and passed her name along to Anthony. And then, once we were all together for a few weeks, I talked to Anthony the other week and I was like man, that's one of the best hangs in a band that I've ever had. Ever. We have too much fun. It's ridiculous.
Speaker 2:For sure. Like you said, it sucked not having you this weekend because we were in Birmingham. And when we go to Birmingham it sucked not having you this weekend because we were in Birmingham. And when we go to Birmingham it's always a different element because Birmingham is kind of developed into in my mental. That's like our band home, like we play in Birmingham more than we play anywhere else More than Atlanta, unfortunately but it is like it's a place that when we go, like I know exactly where I want to go eat, I know exactly how I want to operate in the city, we know where we go play pool, we know we know the city so well because we are there so much that it almost feels like it's a, it's the office. Hey, we're going to the office this week. We're not going to New Orleans, we're going to the office, you know, kind of thing. So I can see exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:That hang element this week was a little different because last week I spent so much money on the restaurant that we went to because we get this buyout and I'm thinking, all right, I'm just gonna get this small thing. But it wasn't happy hour this time and I'm used to going to this restaurant. You know I'm used to going there during happy hours. I'm used to spending half the amount of money and I spent like 40 and we only got like 36 for the buyout. Yeah, and I was like I spent more than I got for food. This week I'm going going to Chipotle. I'm spending $10. I'm going back to the venue, I'm not drinking, I'm not doing anything extra. Ben heard me say that, and Aaliyah heard me say that, and Leslie heard me say that and was like I'm riding with you, dominique, because we didn't want to spend all the money. And luckily, weirdly, this week we got our tip with our check. They tipped us before the gig, which was fire. Oh, it was so fire. So we were like oh, we can go spend a little money on food. And then I was like nope, nope, nope, I'm going to Chipotle, I'm spending $10. I'm coming back to the venue. And they were like cool, we doing it too to the venue. And they were like cool, we doing it too. And we came back, we ate, we did a yoga session for 20 minutes, then everybody else came into the room and we got ready for the gig. So it was like I was like this is exactly how I'm going to approach this.
Speaker 2:I can't emphasize enough to the audience, the people who are listening to this pod, just how important having those moments, having that energy, is with the band, because all of us love doing this. That's not the problem. Each one of us enjoy what we're doing. We're playing the same flipping playlist we have played for years Over and over. We might add three or four songs every other so often, but it's the same playlist, but we enjoy it so much. We wake up on Saturday and we do it and we enjoy it and we try our best to have the most fun as possible. If I don't like the people in the band, if I'm constantly dreading being around them, I'm going to be ready to shoot myself. Dude, you know what I'm saying. It was like crazy. Even with the good hang, even with the years of experience, what is something that you still struggle with and you still work on when it comes to doing these kind of corporate gigs and trying to, like you say, find ways to be better?
Speaker 1:That is difficult in this particular band because it's so nuanced. As a horn player yeah, as a horn player, I take the occasional solo, but in this particular band the forms never change. We don't really get into anything that opens up, so it's kind of different for me. I'm sort of playing the same thing. There's always a chance, I guess, to I focus on my intonation. There's always that, I guess, for anybody, for a vocalist or a horn player or whatever it's like well, you want to sound the best you can. I focus on my intonation. There's always that, I guess, for anybody you know, for a vocalist or a horn player or whatever it's like. Well, you want to sound the best you can. You know I focus on details. I'm like okay, my articulation from the beginning of the note to the middle of the note, which is my intonation, to the way that I release, and trying to do that with other horn players.
Speaker 1:The challenge for me is I play with different horn players every week, which is unique to this band, and some I've found that I mesh with extremely well. Like you said, we go to Birmingham. Shout out to Jacob Walker. Yeah, jacob was with us last night. He's the man I love playing with him Terrific trumpet player, me and him got great synergy. It's like we just know what we're doing every single time. Yeah To playing with somebody I've never met before and maybe they aren't even primarily a horn player. It might just be something they do on the side. And sometimes that gets difficult as well, because it's like I'm not sure if these are the greatest choices that you're making. And how do I say this kindly to you? But also, I'm working, so I have to get my point across.
Speaker 2:So that's the challenge typically, I think, for me. When I first started the band. I remember the first three gigs were the hardest three gigs for me One because I was struggling with trying to memorize everything and two, you know, I didn't realize the hot mic thing, like I remember. The second gig I did was in Nashville. We were at the Symphony Hall. There they asked for Sweet alabama and I was still learning that song. Yeah, like I didn't.
Speaker 2:I like, you know, you grow up hearing it, but like I wasn't some kid listening to leonard skinner back at st louis, like we don't care about that shit. So I am learning these words and he says, all right, sweet home alabama. In my ear. So I'm hearing it in my ear instead of keeping it to myself or thinking like looking at him and saying something I say in the mic all right, let's see if I can get this one down. And I'm thinking I'm just talking to Ant, but actually I'm talking to the audience and I'm like, oh, and they complained about that. Yeah, yeah. The next day Ant called me and was like yeah, I just got off the phone with the wedding planner and the bride was very upset because you were saying things in the mic and I was like, oh you know, and I was still learning, but other than that weird shit, that isn't really the thing I was gonna bring up.
Speaker 2:I would lose my voice after gigs because three hours straight, or you know, we get an extra hour added on top of just singing and not being able to truly either hear myself in these ear things that I'd never used the monitor in my ear before. I like are we in a venue inside and it's echoey, or we're outside and we can't hear anything, like those first three gigs. I was like yo, I am losing my voice. I don't know if I'm going to be able to sing next week because I've lost my voice so bad. And so, ever since then to now, I still work to specifically not hold back but not push during certain points of that night, because I'm like I'm going to need this energy for this is how we do it. Or I'm going to need this energy for when we get to hot in here. I'm going to need this energy for shout, like I want to make sure that my voice is strong when we get there. So when I'm singing, come and get your love. I'm not going to overdo it. You know what I'm saying and I'm going to sound good and I'm going to breathe and I'm going to make sure I articulate and I'm going to let the audience sing with me. And it's this balance of where can I fit in, where can I take breaks mid-show. That's kind of the seesaw that keeps me very interested in these gigs, because it is a different approach each gig. This last gig was a prime example of that.
Speaker 2:I've done 24 Karat a million times with y'all and I do it the same way. But when I first started doing it I would sing it more. But by the time I've gotten to where I am now, I'm usually speaking the lyrics a lot more than I am singing the lyrics to save my voice. And then, with me running around the room, I did a 20 minute yoga session that day and I was breathing all day and actually wake up and I did my morning routine, which I normally don't get to do on Saturdays because I'm usually up at three in the morning. But I got to wake up, have my matcha, do my walk and usually I do a mile walk and when I do the mile walk I'm doing a breathing exercise where I breathe in and breathe in and do that the entire mile to kind of help create the illusion that I'm singing for a mile straight through the way I'm breathing, you know what I'm saying. And so being able to do that and then go and do 24 Karat Magic and run, literally run, around the room three times during the song while singing it, still, that's something that I've been working on since I got in a band and I'm to the place where I'm like, oh damn, I can actually, you know, do it.
Speaker 2:I want to pivot from music and from the band to your religion in the way that you approach everything now because, like you said, this all does kind of combine and it's something that's very unique being with the band and being in a place where you know there's times where we're performing and you have to fast and you're not able to actually like eat or anything, and we're all eating and drinking, or there's moments where you know you have to take time away from the band and go pray and find your space and your peace within the chaos that is our band. When did you convert and how did that lifestyle change? Did it affect your music career, like, in any way? Like, did you feel like it was something that you struggle with when you started it Because it was so different from before. Just give me kind of an overview of the beginning of becoming a Muslim.
Speaker 1:So this was this past. March was my second Ramadan and I converted, or sometimes, as we say, reverted, which is a concept maybe we can get into, but that was about a year and two months ago. But I think about it in my head as how many Ramadan's I've done, which is an interesting concept because that period of time will change. It doesn't coincide with the calendar that the world runs on, the Gregorian calendar, so it will continue to shift throughout our Gregorian year, but only a little bit each year. So this was my second Ramadan. Did it affect my music and music career? Absolutely Two major reasons, the biggest reason being in Sunni Islam in particular, which is I don't consider myself Sunni. I don't like all the sect breakdown Again, a totally different concept maybe we'll get into. I'm a Muslim, I don't want to say I'm Sunni, but this is more so. What I've studied, so to speak, is Sunni concepts, literature related to Sunni Islam.
Speaker 1:There is a lot of evidence that compiles against music in general as entertainment, as a pastime, as being something that is not permitted. I understand that the evidence is very overwhelming and the reasoning is very overwhelming, and the reasoning is very overwhelming, and the reasoning being because, all of a sudden I stepped back and I looked at what I was doing. I had a church gig one time and I was in church and I'm thinking am I allowed to be in here playing music for a different religion? And then I'm thinking about it and I said that's the least of my worries If I'm playing in environments like bars or I'm playing in environments where there's women dressed a particular kind of way, there's alcohol everywhere, people are out of their mind. But I'm worried about oh, can I be playing in the church right now?
Speaker 1:I really have not come in contact with very many musical scenarios in my life period, and especially now that I'm aware of it, where it's something that actually does coincide with spirituality as I understand it. So I hear people talk about how music is a spiritual thing all the time. This is a very complex conversation for me. Do I think it can be? Yes, do I think that people just say that and don't actually think about it?
Speaker 2:Yes, I totally agree with you when you say that. You know, with me I feel like I really listen to music, if that makes sense. Like people sit down and be like, oh, I have these playlists and I do this, and I'll be feeling like we as a generation and as a culture zone out most of the time. You know. So when a lot of people are listening to music, they're doing stuff. They're not even really paying attention to the music but, like for me, it's really incredible to hear every element of a song and when you talk to certain people who just want to start conversation and they're just like you know, I kind of had this out of body experience when I was hearing the song and this and that it's just like you're full of shit, dude.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. Well, and they may have, but my question is was that a good thing? What did that produce, other than you felt a dopamine rush? Yeah, I mean that's great, we all like a dopamine rush but what did you take away from that?
Speaker 2:Did it make you think that you, oh, I didn't think of anything. What do you mean? You didn't think of anything when you were listening to the song Problematic? Yeah, I agree, I get that, I see that, and that's really interesting to take that angle on it where you're like I don't see anything spiritual through music, because I would assume, as someone who is religious and play normally, you would find a way to correlate those two things. But for you to say like, oh, I don't see it, that's interesting. How for you to say like, oh, I don't see it, that's interesting. How do you feel that developed? When did that start? When did you have that moment of realization of? I don't really connect these two things?
Speaker 1:About the time that I was really getting into Islam. Yeah, like even before I took Shahada, which is our public declaration of faith I interestingly I guess I guess this is okay to to talk about. You know, it's not, it's not scary, but I sort of had like a nervous breakdown where I had been, I had been idolizing music to such a degree, and musicians at that. And when I came out of that breakdown I looked back at it. I was starting to develop those concepts of like number one musicians are just people and a lot of these musicians that I idolized were not great people. Yes, and we talk about the good.
Speaker 1:Can you separate the artist from the art? And it's like sure you can do that. But then also, at the end of the day, what fruits did that art itself actually produce that were beneficial to a community of people? Did that art indeed put positive messages into a community? Did it feed a community of people? Did it cause a community of people to come together and do something positive in society, in American society especially, we talk about how those things happen all of the time, but we have to talk about it concretely and not just like music brings people together, okay, but how does it bring people together? Because people coming together is still not a concrete concept.
Speaker 2:They came together and did what we came together and brought further along what you and I've had this conversation before too where the whole Kendrick Lamar thing is of the. Super Bowl and brought Drake out with him and had some sort of patching up.
Speaker 1:You know, and I don't know, that's not really for me to get into, but I just thought, oh, that would have been a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:It would have been beautiful, but this whole situation isn't about being beautiful. Like it's gotten ugly in certain ways and you see the way that the music has kind of affected both artists. You know saying they're going through a court case right now. You know saying and people were like raving about this. I mean, I feel like you can see this in other places and this is kind of divergent for what you're saying, but it feels like the same thing to me. Where you hear all of this it brings people together in this greatness and that, but then they paint it in a certain light as if it's this great thing but then it could be very negative to others. A great example of that would be in the NBA.
Speaker 2:There was this big fight that happened called the Malice in the Palace. It was years ago. The players jumped in the audience and were hitting fans and stuff. It was crazy. It was this crazy moment and nothing about that is good. Nothing about that is good. No, nothing about that is good, period.
Speaker 2:But of course we're in a world now where years later, people can reflect and recently I just saw an interview where dude was like that was the greatest shit ever. Talk about how great it was that they did this, how they were in the audience fighting, how great it was. And it's like I'm not out here calling them thugs or anything ridiculous like that, because I hate that they do that to nba players who are millionaires. These aren't thugs. These are people who work their ass off and you just don't like the way they wear their hair or the way they look.
Speaker 2:But what they did wasn't good and over glorifying and making it sound like it was some marvelous thing that everyone should look up to and be about is not OK. And so when you bring it back to the music and the element of this Kendrick versus Drake thing, it's like, in ways, I see why people would idolize this. But you know, drake said that Kendrick was a wife beater. Kendrick said that Drake was a pedophile. They can't prove any of this stuff. They're just speaking to make others look bad. And now other people are arguing about who's right, who's wrong, arguing about if this is good, if this is bad, and it's like none of that is good what I just said.
Speaker 1:And none of it is relevant to any of our lives. Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:You know, me and my wife were talking about something hilarious. We walked out the door this morning to got coffee and whatnot and beautiful thing, and we brought up somebody from that was like a reality TV star, a singer, somebody like that, and we were trying to figure out what they were. Yeah, we're like were they a singer? Were they reality? We couldn't remember and we said, you know, isn't it crazy? We used to sit at home. I don't have TV anymore, but we used to sit at home and you would watch reality TV, you would watch somebody else's life. I have my own life, but I'm sitting here watching somebody else.
Speaker 2:That's weird, I'm saying there's people who their whole life is like sitting down in front of a TV playing video games and being a war war, two soldier, and you're talking to your guys around the world and you're you're in the trenches and this is your life.
Speaker 1:This is what you do on the regular.
Speaker 2:It's like that's not reality, fake life yeah, it's not reality at all. But every single day you do this, do what you do. No beef, I get. Everyone has to do what they love. And if that's what you love, I love singing. So you might look at my life and be like you fucking weirdo going out and singing songs and trying to get people to look at you all damn day and dancing and all of this bullshit. It's like I get it. I sound like a weirdo to someone else, but when it comes to living your life, you shouldn't have to feel like you have to post on Facebook every time you take a good picture. You shouldn't have to feel like I have to sit down in front of this TV to escape the world that I live in. You shouldn't have to, like you said, the spiritual moment with the music, sit down and play music and be like all right, I want to use this mood music to just forget about my responsibilities and evaporate from reality for a little bit. It's like how can you find moments to do these things and also live your life, you know, say like, yeah, there's this.
Speaker 2:This book I read and he was talking about how monks everyone assumed that they're just these incredible meditators and they know how to do it perfectly and we just don't know what we're doing. When we do it, we're not doing it right. And he said the secret to meditation is that no one is able to truly block anything out of their brain. The idea is they've done it so long that they understand that it's okay to let go. So when you have a thought and you're in this peaceful state, they're able to hear it, recognize that thought and let it go. That's why they're able to stay into that state and seem like they're more focused than people around you.
Speaker 2:And the other day we were doing yoga at the venue. Everyone came in and you know our band Aunt them were laughing. They were like y'all breathing hard, this and that, like talking crazy about all of us. I would even say something yeah, exactly. And Ben wasn't able to like just do it. Ben was like talking while doing it and I heard everything, I witnessed everything. But I was like just do it. Ben was like talking while doing it and I heard everything, I I witnessed everything. But I was like okay, this is a good exercise to focus.
Speaker 2:I'm doing this for a specific reason. I'm not doing this for people to see me. I'm not doing this for people to think, oh, he's so great. I'm not even telling this story. For people to think, oh, look how I'm telling this because this is just my experience. And I was going through this and I was hearing it and I was like, okay, but I'm breathing, so continue to breathe. I hear it. Okay, keep breathing. Okay, next movement Keep breathing, hear it, keep breathing.
Speaker 2:And if someone from the outside not knowing me saw that they more likely would be like, and if someone from the outside not knowing me saw that they more than likely would be like, oh, he was so zenned out, he blocked it all out, he didn't care. And it was like no, I didn't block anything out, I heard everything. I was there for all of the moments. I was irritated in my head about the stuff, but then I let that shit go and just kept on moving. You know what I'm saying, because that's life.
Speaker 2:So having these moments where you feel like you have to just completely eliminate yourself from reality is very frustrating. Because what happens when you come back to reality? What work did you do during that time? You weren't participating, nothing, and so many people assume that that's the best way to work through problems and it's like no, you got to be willing to work during those hard times on this shit. How can you let it go? Or how can you take it and totally have that flow through your body and then let it flow out of your body? How do you work on that? And it just takes a lot of self-reflection understanding your mental state, understanding what bothers you, why it bothers you, what can you do differently to maybe not let it bother you anymore? You know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I almost venture to say when people refer to something being spiritual or spiritual matter, spiritual practice if there isn't a practical application wrapped up in that somewhere, I struggle to see how it's spiritual. So in Islam, we pray five times a day. I've been doing this for an entire year. Sometimes I don't want to do it, that's the honest truth. Sometimes I love it, but from a spiritual standpoint, what I would say is we believe that what we're doing is trying to invoke the mercy of Allah, of God, into our lives each time we do it.
Speaker 1:From a practical standpoint, what it does to go and interrupt what I'm doing five times a day to wake me up in the morning, to stop work, to leave it's a reminder that this is who I am and this is what I abide by.
Speaker 1:And so when I leave that and I go back to doing the regular stuff I'm doing, how could I do certain things that I used to do, having just done that, having just entered a space where my brain is supposed to be totally focused on higher things and on God, and then I turn around and then go right back to doing something filthy, as we would say, and it's like. So that's the practical application of it and otherwise, if there wasn't, and it's like, so that's the practical application of it and you know otherwise, if it was, if there wasn't, and I was like this is a spiritual thing for me, you say, okay, but how? To my brain? That doesn't make too much sense Not to put judgment on other people if they have a spiritual practice that doesn't have a practical application. But I would just, I would beg the question.
Speaker 2:That's important for you and the people around you, and I see it often. Just yesterday I was talking to a friend. They were telling me about this last work venture that they had and how this last work venture is shaping the way that they're going to move forward. They're more than likely not going to do the things in the field that they're training anymore because it has been very frustrating, hard and they've been kind of getting hit with reality left and right, noticing that there isn't a lot of stuff fighting for them and they're not willing to fight for this field anymore. And they were talking to me about a person who had came to them and bought up this very weird thing. They said that this environment that they were working in was very misogynistic and they didn't enjoy it and it was a female. And my friend was like what exactly happened? I felt like it was like I felt like we were pretty open and we were looking now what could we have done to make it better for you? Because I'm sorry if I was the person that affected you. And the person was like no, you weren't, but it was just. That was just the vibe throughout. He was like okay, what examples do you have what happened and they were like I just it was just the way I felt it was the vibe. It was the vibe.
Speaker 2:And there are times I've been in arguments where someone tried to get me to emphasize things. And the reason why I wasn't able to emphasize it because mentally I knew the person wasn't trying to hear what I was saying. They were trying to find a way to deflect and flip what I was saying and manipulate my visual instead of actually hearing me out. So it was hard for me to finish that conversation because I was like you're not, like you're not asking me this for the right reasons. But in this situation he was asking them for the right reasons. He was like I really do want to help, I really do want to change, I really do want to make things better.
Speaker 2:And they didn't really have any concrete evidence. They were just saying stuff to, in my opinion, more than likely, manipulate them and make them feel bad or try to get them on their side so that they can go to someone else and flip the switch again. And it's just like this whole crazy thing that could collapse all around and everybody will be affected. And it's like there's no logic here, there's no plan. There's no, like you said, there's nothing practical being used. This is just someone who more likely doesn't have the proper experience, doesn't have the proper work ethic to even be in this situation, trying to find a way to make it seem like they are okay in this situation.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. It is like this whole thing is Trump. The moment that you ask them what actually is going on and they're like, oh, I'm not going to answer that question, what do you mean? You know what I'm saying? I feel like that's a constant thing that we deal with in life. That's why we're in the crap that we're in as a society, because we're dealing with people who aren't willing to explain themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's frustrating and it's twisted and that gets dark real fast.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to take away from the show too much. I just wanted to make sure I jumped in here and shouted out my guy Scott. I appreciate him for being on the show. He isn't really the type of person that shares too much with the world in general when it comes to his family and his emotions. I just appreciate him being vulnerable and coming on the show and actually speaking truth and just hanging out. It's always good to see him. I'm looking forward to more performances together and more shows and gigs and all that jazz. He's a wonderful saxophone player. He's a great friend, an incredible person, and I'm very happy that he's getting some time with his wife to actually relax. But he's already back to gigging now. So this is short-lived. He was out for a bit, but the second he could get back to it he jumped back on the horn and I couldn't be more happy for him. So shout-out to Scott. I hope you all are enjoying the show. Please make sure to go subscribe, follow the podcast, share the podcast, tell everybody about it. A lot of people have been coming to me about different topics. I'm excited to put together some new shows and the rest of the season is going to be very, very fun. So I hope y'all stick along with us and, once again, thank you.
Speaker 2:Emotion. Emotion is something that drives all of us, something that pushes all of us, and music emotion pushes you through music and how you portray the song, how you do the song. If I do the way you look tonight, tonight, tomorrow and the day after, there are three different ways. I could sing that song with the same lyrics but portray it with different emotion. When it comes to religion and trying to be more disciplined, that's my word of the year. My theme of the year has been discipline. I want to be more disciplined in the way I live and the way I approach my life, and this year has been difficult because I started off strong. Then there was moments where I was having some trouble within my family and emotionally not able to really comprehend what was happening around me, and so my discipline around all of that kind of slipped, and I'm slowly getting back to how I was at the beginning of the year. I'm still hitting my yoga, I'm still doing my breathing exercises, I'm still writing, I'm still creating, I'm still adding more to my plate so that I can continue to grow.
Speaker 2:I love to hear this too. I appreciate it. I appreciate it, but it's important for me and emotionally, I think I am in a great headspace now because I am starting to commit more to the discipline and I'm not doing it for any other reason, but for me. I'm not doing it for any other reason but for me. I'm not doing it for anyone else. My wife is benefited from it. People in my life are benefited from it, because I'm looking at me and saying what can I do to make sure I'm good, so that I can affect the world and this and that For you. When you think about your career musically, when you think about even the injury that you're going through right now that is preventing you from performing music and doing different things, when you think about your religion and you think about the way that you approach life, because of that, emotionally, where do you think you are? Oh, that's, that's so difficult. I understand, I understand. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:To quantify emotion, or even. You know, like I said before, I have much conflict about playing music, yeah, and still do, and wonder if this isn't a period to reflect upon that. Lately, in all honesty, playing music has just been something that I love to do, just to be real as can be. It's usually about me and it also brings about a beauty of being able to hang out with people that I love. In almost any musical scenario that I'm in, as of late as of the past year or two, I'm always surrounded by people that I love being around. So I love the camaraderie of it. We all love the feeling of somebody saying, oh man, that music, it touched me. Or man, I love that music. That's a wonderful thing, but it's also great to have touched somebody else again. I don't know what I did for them, but it makes me feel good. I think that's the difference of where I'm at now versus where I used to be. It used to be like, oh well, I'm really doing good out here playing music. I don't know what good I'm doing playing music other than I love to do it. I love to watch other people love to do it. I love to listen to it. I love the camaraderie. Emotionally I'm upset that I can't play, but that's kind of it.
Speaker 1:I'm still at an odd point with music and in my prayers I constantly ask like, am I supposed to be doing this? Is this serving a purpose in my life? Is it serving a purpose in other people's lives? Is it something that I can just enjoy and make some money on the side doing? Because I'm not sure if I would ever at this point want it to consume my life. You know that my day job is I cut down trees and that's the way I make money and I love to do that as well and that serves the purpose of I make money. I have a day job and music serves the purpose of bringing me joy and bringing me some money. If that became my main source of income, I would still need something else in my life to serve a greater purpose. Music can't be the end all be all For me. It can't.
Speaker 2:I read this book and they were very specific about knowing your purpose and being able to approach your purpose within your relationship, to move forward positively in your relationship and for me. I had been working on what is my purpose since January and Adrian and I would work through this worksheet and kind of get our heads right and I finally got to a place where I think I was the most happy creatively right after college, where I was creating opportunities, I was doing shows, I was producing albums, I was writing new material and going out and hiring artists to work with me and we were consistently doing stuff. I'm still doing that. I still do the jam and still put shows together.
Speaker 2:But slowly but surely over the years I've kind of gotten bitten by the production and the producer bug and each time I produce something myself it gets a little bit more difficult for me to want to produce something afterwards because everything is just so difficult working with certain people, working with venues, venues trying to underpay you, people not paying attention to the words in your contracts and trying to pay you too late, not willing to pay you, people not paying attention to the words in your contracts and trying to pay you too late, not willing to pay you the proper amount, looking at you like you're some type of you know. Why should we pay you full price? You're not. You know, bruno Mars, you know, yeah. But with that being said, the best me was the person who was creating opportunities for others.
Speaker 2:I feel like, and I feel like my purpose is creating media, podcast shows, musicals, music, anything, creating stuff, making opportunities where I'm hiring artists to do what they love to do. That's my purpose, I think, is creating opportunities, which is kind of interesting that I've gotten to that place, because it's like does that mean I'll ever profit from that? Does that mean that I'll always be the one constantly in the back? Will I be underappreciated? Will I be creating opportunities for people and then wake up one day and it's like all these people are doing so well and I'm just kind of here trying. Still, I don't know, but I truly think that's my purpose is to create opportunities. If you were to word it, do you know that what you would say your purpose is right now?
Speaker 1:I'll say what has been shown to me as of recent long-term, I'm not sure. As of recent, my bigger purpose has been centered around family. Yeah, me as a husband, as a son, as a brother all those things have become incredibly important to me, more important than they were previously. Yeah, like those types of things are just so much more important to me, more important than they were previously. Yeah, like those types of things are just so much more important to me than than my desire to play music or my desire to do it could be anything, anything that's, that's, you know, enjoyable that I'm like, oh, this is such a big part of my life, but it's like those things are bigger. Yeah, I think there's a lot of general purposes, like just like what we've talked about, like affecting people positively, but affecting people positively by showing them that my particular lifestyle and this even comes down.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you one thing that I've watched myself affect other people positively is like my diet. Yeah, it's like the way you know, I'm extremely regimented and disciplined, like in my my diet and my job is exercise, so I stay in good shape. I'm a big advocate for those things, and so you know if I, if I watch somebody else be affected by that, if they see how it's playing out in my life and they they think, well, yeah, I'm, I'm tired all the time or I'm not, you know, I'm, I'm having health difficulties or whatever it's like. If I affect somebody positively in that way, I think that's it, and it doesn't always involve getting in somebody's face and telling them what they should be doing.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 2:This is a little ditty that we did at one of our recent jam sessions. Scott always comes out and plays sax and I do a jam session at JB's Record Lounge every month here in Atlanta. I try to do it the first Friday of every month and this was just a good time. They're always swinging hard and I love doing this one. But if you want to check me out for more of my music and all the stuff that I have on every platform, just go listen to my music anywhere album music, spotify, amazon it's there. You can check me out for more information at donlamorecom, where you can get anything and everything.
Speaker 2:Donlamore, you know what I love? Every morning, I do a walk in the morning and it's like a mile. I talked about that earlier in the pod. Recently I've added a new element to it where, instead of like listening to a podcast or listening to like some you know, kendrick or hip hop or any lyrics, I've been playing just instrumental jazz. That way, I don't have anything like that I have to sing along to. I don't have anything that I have to like hear. I could just enjoy the music, hear the instrumentation and focus on my breathing. So I've been listening to a lot of different artists, but the one that I'm going to say I'm in love with right now. It's so simple, but this jazz pianist, bg Adair.
Speaker 2:Okay, I know the name yeah, that I try to approach certain songs. I've never been the type to do a bunch of runs. I've never been the type to exaggerate anything too much. I like to be very simple and I like to emphasize the lyrics, and so the way that BG plays the piano does that, and it's really enjoyable to hear her do standards and different stuff that I just love. There's a cover of the Way you Look Tonight, or they Can't Take that Away From Me the Gershwin tune that I just every day I'm like, ah, love this. And that's kind of been the past couple of days. I've listened to that. I've done some Miles Davis, I've done a whole bunch of different instrument-focused jazz, but that's what I'm loving right now. How about you? You?
Speaker 1:know what I love is this time of year. This is my favorite time of year. It's springtime. I was a spring baby. Everything is blooming. I love being outside watching the trees and the flowers, and the air feels so good, and I know that some people hate the pollen it doesn't bother me and going outside and there's sunshine and there's a little bit of rain every once in a while as well. It's just absolutely my favorite time of year.
Speaker 2:All right, man. We made it to the final segment of the night.
Speaker 1:We've spoken about everything that we want to speak about. We've touched every topic. We want to. All I want like a podcast. I think you have a very positive emotional effect on people and you're a very positive person as well. Try, Even when me and you have had a conversation about something like we're troubleshooting something, it's not extremely negative. You have such a way that you approach stuff. I love it, man. I love it. It's something to look up to.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you, man. Cheers to you once again. Thank you for coming out. I'm going, man. Yeah, I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. The opening quote. Credit goes to Amit Ray and shout out to my guy, scott, for being on the pod. Follow Scott at ScottBox underscore E on Instagram. Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us a good rating Five stars, please. And thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. Also, tell me your plans for this coming year. We should collab. If you liked this episode, you should check out overcoming challenges and embracing family life with benjamin stevens. That's a previous episode that I did with another member from my band, big bling and the funk machine, and it was all about family and music and being married and so much more, and go check that out. Follow me at D O M underscore L A M O U R on Instagram or at Dom Lamorecom. I'm Dom Lamore. Much love, thank you.
