"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
Finding Joy Amidst Anxiety
When happiness breaks through anxiety, do you grab it with both hands? That precious moment of joy becomes something to savor, especially when the mind constantly works against you. In this soulful conversation, Shane Murphy opens up about the internal battle between finding creative fulfillment and maintaining financial security.
Shane's journey from self-described loner to partner reveals how love transforms perspective. "Everything is so much freer and I feel so much more confident and supported," he shares, describing how his relationship with Erica provides a foundation that makes pursuing creative passions less daunting. The genuine warmth between these two friends—who first bonded performing as the Bee Gees in a musical revue—creates space for vulnerable admissions about career fears and artistic dreams.
The heart of their discussion explores that universal struggle many artists face: how do you honor your soul's calling while paying the bills? Shane's anxiety about leaving his finance job to pursue music fully resonates with anyone who's felt trapped between security and passion. Meanwhile, Dom shares practical approaches to organizing creative pursuits, suggesting that accomplishing just three career-focused tasks daily builds momentum without overwhelming.
Their conversation weaves through mindfulness practices, overcoming self-doubt, and finding joy in focused activities from painting miniatures to practicing scales. The most poignant moments come when they acknowledge how easily we talk ourselves out of opportunities before even trying. "Just email them," Shane realizes about potential collaborators. "People want nobody comes to this show to see you mess up."
Listen for their spontaneous, soul-stirring rendition of Sam Cooke's "Bring It On Home To Me"—a perfect demonstration of the talent and connection that makes this friendship special. Whether you're wrestling with anxiety, balancing practicality with dreams, or simply seeking more intentional joy, this episode offers both comfort and gentle challenge to take that first small step forward.
Guest: Shane Murphy AKA @theshanemurphy
Opening quote: Roy T. Bennett
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Featured song: "This Guys in love with you" Covered by Dom L'Amour and The Andrews at Lemon Bar in Chicago.
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Featured song : "Bring it on home to me" Covered by Dom L'Amour and Shane Murphy
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @dom_lamour on Instagram. Or at
kind of free and loosey-goosey with my speech, and all that just because I think I spend a lot of time being anxious. So anytime I can this sounds so corny but just like smile and enjoy myself. I don't like to waste it, because it's really precious. Like when you're fighting against yourself, that's like one of the most important things you can have. Is just like I just need to be happy for a little bit, like I need to reflect on my life. I need to reflect on everything. I need to reflect on how the things that are making me anxious and sad a lot of them are chemical. So it's like how do you, when you have like one of those episodes or something, talk yourself off a ledge and go oh, my body just produces too much of the stress chemical. I just need to like zone out, think about nothing and focus on a task, and so that's why a lot of my hobbies end up being myself.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here. My name is Dom L'Amour and you are listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. On today's episode, I have my guy, shane Murphy, and we talk about love, anxiety, focusing on ideas and so much more. It's difficult to live in and enjoy the moment when you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future. You cannot change your past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about your future.
Speaker 2:I haven't had you on the pod yet and I'm very thrilled to have you here, because I feel like we have a great bond and we really got close when we met each other through the production we were in, and it's always nice to have people on the pod that I have worked with but also am really really good friends with. So I appreciate you taking the time to talk, and I just want to start somewhere. I'm not sure how often you talk about this, so I'm excited to kind of throw it at you really quick. I want to start with you and erica. Did y'all meet before the show we were in as well, or did y'all meet during that show?
Speaker 1:yes. So the first time that erica and I met so we got three shows at the strand theater in a row with each other. So it was kind of like a like a destined by fate thing almost. I mean, it wasn't, wasn't, but the circumstances were pretty spectacular. As far as they go, we did a Christmas show together. That was the first time I'd ever worked at the Strand, yeah, and it was very, very dance heavy that show, and I am an awful dancer, which I'm sure you can attest to. So I was nervous. I was trying not to look like an idiot in front of everybody.
Speaker 1:I was trying to trying to keep it moving. I'm like, if it's something funny or if it's something that needs to be sung really, really high I'm great at that, but other than that, I'm just trying to keep in line. I actually didn't talk to erica much during that first thing, like just very, very small, like oh, what do you think of this curtain? Yeah, this curtain's weird, okay, well, see you. Anyways, back to the show, and that's about as much as we spent. Yeah, avabeejee's is when I uh started to sort of get the get the bug for I was like oh, she's uh, she's really, really sweet and she's really funny and she's really nice. And also, for some reason, we're singing the same vocal part in this show. Yeah, what if we just like sit on this couch and go vocal parts together, you know?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a soprano line treating you. That's doing pretty good.
Speaker 2:I always like those kind of first moments in relationships because it's very innocent and it's all about energy, like something that I noticed and I know everyone always does. This is like I knew it. I knew it. Everybody don't be knowing, but in this scenario I'm not going to say that I knew y'all were going to get together, but I saw the chemistry very early. There was a time where we all went and got food. Do you remember that? We went and got food after a horrible rehearsal at a bar. Do you remember that time?
Speaker 1:Yes, I absolutely remember.
Speaker 2:There's one particular time where it was horrible and we went and got something to eat at this bar and hung out in between, or was it after rehearsal? I think it was after rehearsal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was our lunch break.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when we got back, I remember the whole time we were there we were vibing, it was a great conversation. But I just was like huh, that's something right there. But I didn't press any of it. But I was very happy to see y'all actually make it official.
Speaker 2:I actually didn't press anything either, which was the issue issue and before we move to anything else, I just would love to see you reflect on the ways that Erica's helped you maybe change or helped you move forward in life. Just give me a kind of overview of the dynamic of the relationship and what you feel she helps you with.
Speaker 1:Of course, I've actually been kind of thinking about that a lot lately this year. I am fortunate enough to have a safe, cheap place to live with all my friends. I got my lady in lock. She's there for me all the time. We live together. We have our little spats every now and then, but they've all been really, really kind and they've been about understanding problems and it's like like man. The world is just so much more open to me now. Now I'm just like man.
Speaker 1:All that stuff I was worried about is kind of not completely figured out, but mostly figured out. So, yeah, I need to start looking at my art and like what I do at my job and like what's not making me happy there. And man, it's just having all of that taken care of. Just having somebody inequivocally in your corner is just. Your perspective changes completely, like everything is so much freer and I feel so much more confident and supported. I think that's what a lot of this year is probably going to be. It's just falling in love with Erica has, I think, given me a position in my life that I've never been in before, feeling safe and comfortable, which I have a lot of anxiety. So that's a very new experience for me.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's something that I've noticed with my relationship with Adrian early on as well, where I start noticing things around me that aren't good because of things being so good in my own little world. Our world is perfect, we've worked on everything, we've talked through things. If something happens, we fix it and we can move forward. But then I look outside of that world and I'm like, oh, this is unstable out here for some reason. What are all these negative things from out here? It's because people aren't communicating properly out there. Okay, okay, and it really it does make life a lot better when you have somebody who you can talk to, who is going to be on the same page as you, who is willing to do the work to create a positive relationship. And, like I said, man, it's just, it's a real thrill to watch you two together, especially when we're like at parties or when y'all came to the jam session, which I appreciate.
Speaker 1:So good. I hope to attend many more in the future.
Speaker 2:We're going to do our thing, man. It just, it just really really warms my heart when a friend is able to find someone and then when two friends find someone and it's each other, that just really helps me with my selfish. My friends are happy and I was with them when they got together, kind of thing.
Speaker 1:Isn't that special when two of your friends fall in love, two people you have intimate history with, and you're like, oh, I know both of you guys. Both of you guys are so sweet and nice and it's so cool that we don't have to find out five years down the line that, like this dude like hits rabbits with a hammer. It's like, oh, people you love are there for each other and they found each other. And you're like, oh man, I get to watch this. This rules. This is sick.
Speaker 2:With that being said, pivoting a little bit more to what I want to talk about, because you're a performer, so we move around the city. You do work with your significant other a lot on different gigs, or maybe you have your gigs that you work together but then you do your other gig, and separately, as performing artists. How do you feel that dynamic works, actually being with someone who is also a performer? I remember in college I was always very negative towards dating other, like actors and singers, cause I was like we're in the same class as this and that. And of course, I slipped up and hooked up with people in the department and had that drama and stuff. But I would always preach don't practice, don't shit where you eat, like you want to be able to enjoy this space and then go out of that space with your significant other. How is it for you to be in a place with someone that's incredible, but they also are in your same field and you end up working together sometimes?
Speaker 1:See, it was interesting in the beginning because we got all those shows together before we were dating and so it was just this like crazy friendship where we would just hang out and have these incredible conversations and sort of dates in parentheses. Now that we are dating and we finally booked some shows together and stuff. It's interesting because I was one of the named characters in this recent thing and she was one of the ensemble. Because I was one of the named characters in this recent thing and she was one of the ensemble, so we were, for all intents and purposes, on stage together in the same room, but we would barely see each other during rehearsal. Yeah, and I thought that was the craziest thing on the planet, just because our tracks were so insanely different. It was nice.
Speaker 1:It was like, oh, I get to go and pal around with all these people, but my girlfriend's also there. So when I'm like sick of talking to all these new people, I get like exhausted or something. I can talk to my person who doesn't care what I say. I can just be like what do you think of this number, what do you think of this thing? And it was very nice to have that built in to where, if you're feeling anxious or something, you can just go hang out with your girlfriend and sort of deconstruct it all. I'm sort of taking a break from these at the beginning of this year just because I'm trying to get back into more music stuff, yeah, and so she's still sending off auditions and things.
Speaker 1:So I'm hoping that she can book something and I can get some time back at home to where I can like plunk around on my guitar, look around some music theory, and she can get to be like the star of her little thing and our schedules can kind of switch because as of right now we're just around each other all the time, which is surprising because before I was dating people I like I'm one of the most like solo people ever. Like I love my own company, I love to hang out with myself. The just kind of meeting her has made me so much more social and accepting of being around other people and stuff and I think that's probably the most interesting evolution to the way I approach art and sort of the community now.
Speaker 2:When you say that you are like the most to yourself. Why do you feel that, like you're that way, you just enjoy your own space and you're cool with who you are? Do you not really like engaging with other people or like how does that work?
Speaker 1:A lot of my hobbies are like I like to just sort of like zone out and really focus on them and like I recently got into like painting miniatures for tabletop games and stuff and so I'll turn on like music, I'll listen to that and I'm like I need to listen to this song a couple of times.
Speaker 1:So I'll just like turn on like an artist discography or something and I'll worry about like painting my little figure or something. Or I'll put on like a video game and put on my headphones and do that. A lot of my stress is caused by other people just because, like, I really like being kind of free and loosey goosey with my speech and all that just because I think I spend a lot of time being anxious. So, anytime I can this sounds so corny but just like smile and enjoy myself.
Speaker 1:I don't like to waste it because it's really precious. Like when you're fighting against yourself, that's like one of the most important things you can have is just like I just need to be happy for a little bit. Like I need to reflect on my life. I need to reflect on everything. I need to reflect on how the things that are making me anxious and sad a lot of them are chemical. So it's like, how do you, when you have like one of those episodes or something, talk yourself off a ledge and go oh, my body just produces too much of the stress chemical. I just need to, like, zone out, think about nothing and focus on a task, and so that's why a lot of my hobbies end up being myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So like going into theater, which is largely a community-based art form.
Speaker 1:That's where I kind of use my community hours at yeah because those are the people that I do like to be around, because I work in finance is like my nine to five which we'll see how that goes in the coming year but they talk about a lot of stuff that I'm not really interested in. Like I've never been somebody who's really cared about busy work and all that kind of stuff. Like I truly do not care if the stock market lives or dies, but you do have to financially support yourself, you do have to find ways to get from point A to point B, and so when that all kind of stresses me out, my hobbies are usually the things that I kind of turn towards.
Speaker 2:Shane and I met each other on a production in June of 2022. Actually, we started in May for rehearsals. It was a ABBA BGs review show in Marietta, georgia, here, and Shane and I were the BGs pretty much. It was a very interesting show. I was trying my best to get into acting and doing more performances but it was a blessing in disguise because with me doing this show I actually met the person who introduced me to the guy who would set that feeling of. I met someone that I clicked with strongly Shane and Erica and her friend Allie. All of us was really cool. That was like our little click and even with that, it was some people from that show. To this day I still work with my girl, kaylin Bovell. She was on the podcast. I met her in that production. It was just an incredible time.
Speaker 2:I was still new to Atlanta. I wanted to meet more people. I was willing to drive 50 miles a day to go rehearse there just because it was an opportunity to do something with someone new in a new part of town. And I got on stage and, like I said, I wanted to do more acting. But these shows I was in back-to-back reviews because people were like you sing really well and I was like, okay, okay, are you doing normal shows? And they're like, no, we're doing singing shows. So Shane and I sat down and really collaborated and created our own version of what we wanted the Bee Gees songs to be like and it was unique to us and I felt like it showed off our personalities and we got to grow together as artists. It was a really incredible event for the city of Marietta. The people who came out to the Strad really supported us, sold us out every other night and I was so thrilled.
Speaker 2:I would love to go back, but you know I'm working a lot now and so going to that would mean I would have to have to really be willing to to let some money go. But I do miss being on stage and doing theater and I do appreciate working with people like Shane. Shane is such a talented singer, incredible person, and I'm just happy to have his friendship. I'm happy that he took time to be out on the podcast with me today. I'm happy that he took time to be out on the podcast with me today and I look forward to singing more tunes with him in the future and hopefully we can recreate some of those memories we made on the stage as the BGs back in 2022.
Speaker 2:So shout out to Shane Murphy and let's get back into the episode. And let's get back into the episode. I'm curious to know, like some of those hobbies other than the miniatures you're doing, like what other things do you know? I was at your house and so I kind of know, but I would love to hear things that you hold near and dear and feel help you escape, because that's what it sounds like hold near and dear and feel, help you escape.
Speaker 2:Because that's what it sounds like a lot of them. It's kind of an escape to kind of just relax and get away from the stress and not feel like your job sounds stressful. So that's another reason why you try to get away from stress yeah it's, it's insanely stressful for what it is.
Speaker 1:and now that, uh, I'm here kind of with erica I'm noticing that again because like we'll both come home and something like it's like oh yeah, we caused a cybersecurity alert at work and it's like how'd you do that by sending one email wrong? And no real human should have to kind of deal with that kind of stress with such minor actions.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:As of right now, I'm just trying to fall back in love with singing, because the one thing that I've always been really really confident about is my ability to sing really, really well, and it's like you got to talk yourself up in a couple things like I I hate being like haughty and up my own ass and all that. Like I love to be humble of all things, like paul rudd says in uh anch, hey, we're all the same inside, stinky and pink. I'm sorry, I'm actively turning down the class on your podcast. No, no, no.
Speaker 2:We've talked about classless stuff in the past. It's not a big deal.
Speaker 1:No, but I'm trying to really, really hone in my singing based upon all that, just so I can, no matter what issues I have with putting in the work and bringing emotion to songs and all that, when people hear me sing, I want them to go. Oh, that guy's a contender.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like that guy came to play. He is not screwing around with this he came to give us a performance that we're going to remember because I'm just trying to practice with it every day. I'm trying to make it better, I'm trying to get it like consistent, which is, I think, one of the hardest parts about things. Is just like getting things consistent isn't fun. It's not like learning a new song. It's not like hitting that high note for the first time. It's like now we're doing the work part of this. Like I want other people to be able to work well with me. Uh, I, I see you up on this, that stage, with like your uh, ipad and all that, and you look at it from time to time, but you have most of them memorized and I respect that deeply.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to get on that level. I want to play with more musicians. I want it to be as close to an effortless switch to playing with other people as it possibly can be, just so I can learn all these things at my own pace. I can get like octaves down and all that boring stuff, but I just want to feel that rush with music again, like that's really what it all kind of boils down to.
Speaker 2:I get that.
Speaker 1:I want to pick up my guitar again so I can support myself, but I really want to make some just crazy music with some crazy musicians. Like that's really my biggest hobby other than yelling at 12-year-olds on like games on PS5.
Speaker 2:That's a really dope way to do it too. Music has always been my safe place, where I remember a couple of years ago, maybe two years ago I was struggling mentally and I wasn't really knowing what was wrong and I realized, instead of filling my time with music throughout the day, I was filling it with like political podcast and I was listening to interviews on YouTube and I was constantly hearing negativity through social media and stuff like that. And I wasn't just listening to my music when I had downtime, like I had for years in college, when I wanted to get away. When I'm walking around campus, when I moved to Chicago and I'm on my way to work anytime I could, I was listening to music. One year I was over 60,000 hours on Spotify at one point and that is something that I had to get back to. I had to get back to usually starting my morning off with the music.
Speaker 2:I go on my morning, walk, get out of bed, get my headphones, put them on and have music playing the second I wake up to kind of help me navigate through the house and get my clothes on, and the music is really helping me start the day off right and I'm not playing some hard metal or some crazy rap lyrical stuff. I'm usually listening to the most mellow stuff I have, like Al Green. I'm listening to Marvin Gaye, what's Going On? I'm listening to stuff that just makes me want to smile, that makes me want to sing, that makes me want to. You know, okay, I'm about to have a good day today because the vibes are right.
Speaker 2:Having that as a hobby, in my opinion, is the best hobby because it is really really an incredible art. I hear you when you say that you're trying to get into the music more. What are some things that you think is holding you back? Because something you said that sticks out to me is you're trying to get your guitar back in your hand more. What's stopping you from picking up that guitar? What's stopping you from truly making the steps into the music?
Speaker 1:You know, I've thought about this a ton and I'm always trying to like I'm always trying to hone in on, like the, the reason that's at the heart of the problem, because there's a lot of answers I could give you to that, but I think it's just there's just so little time to do all the stuff you want to do. Because it's like, yeah, you, I have the 40 hours a week at the job and that in and of itself is a great deal of your time, but you, you have to spend time with your significant other. Like they deserve your full attention. Like I can coast around erica for days at a time like we've been dating, for it's coming up on two years now, so we wow, two years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's a great crazy it's. It's one of the best things I've ever done. I'm so proud of it. But, like, I do always try to be like okay, we've been coasting around each other for like three days, just because we live each other. Like I need to sit down, we need to watch something we can both engage with. We need to like have an actual conversation about something that's not hey, how bad was work, how good was work, or something like that.
Speaker 1:Like yeah back to some of the old fun conversations you had, like when you were first dating and all that. It's like oh, what tell me about your uncle?
Speaker 2:like two years in. Let me just hear about your uncle you have to do stuff like that.
Speaker 1:I'll want to like catch up on my youtube subscriptions, which or play a game or something, which is obviously wasted time, but it's it's fun stuff, and fun stuff is never wasted time. But you need to do some stuff that's good for advancing you with your hobbies as well. You got to do some not as fun stuff, but some stuff that'll be soul enriching once you get through it and it's honestly. I just need to use some of that time I've been using for these other things the four or so hours I'm not like washing dishes or cleaning the house or stuff to work. I need to sit down and I need to play some guitar. I need to do some stuff that's harder than what I've been playing, because I'm by no means like a guitar master. I learned it so I could sing and play at the same time. If I couldn't find somebody on the piano, if I didn't have $300 to pay somebody what they deserve, I'm just going to back up myself and I'm going to be like, hey, here's how I can do it, and what I need to do is I need to sit down, I need to run some scales on the guitar which are not as fun as piano. I need to sit down, I need to learn a couple songs over and over just so I can pull them out and if I ever need to like play at a bar or something, and it's like I need to see if I want to do this nine to five stuff my entire life.
Speaker 1:Because it honestly scares me to not have that safety net. Like it scares me not having health insurance, like paid through a company. Scary, not having a 401k, all all that stuff that they tell you you have to have towards the end of your life and all that it's scary and you have to decide. Is the stress you're getting from 18 people who just lost $2 million because this thing is down? It's nothing you did, it's just things go down on the internet.
Speaker 1:Or do you run the stress of how am I going to retire but I'm doing what I love? It's just like you have to be able to sustain yourself. You have to. I have to be able to afford things for erica, for us, like we're each other's responsibility now. No matter what happens. We'll always be there for each other, but if we ever want to have kids or something in the future, to some extent it is my job to be able to help her to comfortably afford that. I need to figure out what I'm capable of, and that's scary and that's, I think, probably the most complex answer on the planet to why can't you just put your guitar in your hands?
Speaker 2:No, it's not, Because I always tell people my biggest fear. When I was younger, I didn't want to be a baby daddy. That was number one.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to be a baby, daddy being a baby daddy was horrifying to me.
Speaker 2:But another big fear of mine was not having the support, not being able to support myself. Bringing someone down with me and in my marriage that's the first hurdle I kind of had to jump over was I am so nervous to mess this thing up that I avoid doing things that I think might help If I'm not sure that I'll have the finances coming from it. I don't want to do it. I'm not going to quit a job just to quit. I would quit a job back in the day in a heartbeat because I'm very headstrong, but now it's like I can't just do that. I have someone that depends on me to bring money in, someone who depends on me to help pay for these trips that we're taking, to help get groceries and do this and that, and she wants me to be happy too. Yes, and I see that.
Speaker 2:But my hurdle always comes back to my security of am I doing the right things? Am I putting us in jeopardy? Do I need another job? Should I be bringing more money in? Music isn't going to do that. Well, maybe it can, I don't know. I'm nervous to try, because what if it doesn't? And that's not something to approach lightly. So when you say that you struggle with that security. That's something we were taught when we were young. You know what I'm saying. Make sure you cover your basis, Make sure you understand exactly what you need to do to make it to the next day, and then in most of the world it revolves around having enough money to make it to the next day. So that's not complex. That is very regular, I feel, where there's so many people who dictate their whole life on something that they hate so much because it's security.
Speaker 1:That's really just the toughest part. It's just like I don't have an investment in finance, but I'm good at problem solving and puzzle solving just because I have a very like. I have a very like. How is the sausage made, type brain, to where I really enjoy that type of information.
Speaker 1:But as far as being consistent with, like customer service and that, aside from being kind to people, it could mean nothing to me and it never really will. And no job I've ever had that has paid the bills has ever really spoke to me on that kind of level, and I'm not sure that there is one that will, other than something I could potentially get some sort of degree in accounting or something, and maybe I fall in love with that because I can finally do a job where no one is micromanaging me, but that is a whole other thing. You're going to either go learn your music and do that or you're going to learn how to code, and it's like those are very different life paths. How do you choose? How do you figure it out?
Speaker 1:Journey of a Thousand Steps starts with a single mile and it's like you just got to figure out where you're going to start and you just have to keep going, and that's what I have to tell my brain. It's like you don't have to do it in a day, just start. And even if you get 2% better, it's like you did something, you figured it out.
Speaker 1:Not to go back to my miniatures, which I definitely want to tell everybody about all, the fun little bugs I've been painting, but like that it has been kind of helpful as far as making myself realize I don't need to do it all in one day Because, like all you do is you just sit there and you just paint and you figure out how the paint works and you figure out how it spreads and how much you need on your brush and you screw up and this thing looks bad and how do I fix that thing?
Speaker 1:And I realized now that as I'm painting things, my hands are just more skilled at it, because I've been painting for months at a time while Erica reads that's what I got it for, so she could read and we could just be next to each other and we don't really talk and we can be outside, which is also another thing we have to get time for. It's just like in some fresh air and all that. But I've noticed that I'm getting better at something and I'm not really having to even apply that much, like just being mindful is all I really have to apply.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I think, if I can get that confidence back as far as just like you know, running my scales and looking at my chord signatures and just like reading music and singing those jazz standards that I want to sing at some point, just listening to Georgia on your mind a hundred times until you can get the, the melody there, it's like, oh yeah, you really don't have to do it in a day. Really. You can just take an hour to this day, an hour to that day. Some days you gotta clean, some days you gotta paint, some days you gotta sing, and just like figuring out what, how to manage that time and how it works for you with the results that you want.
Speaker 1:Because right now I want to be able to hold more space for when, like erica's anxious about something, because I I recently like decided to jump off meds because, like I felt they were pushing me in like a wrong direction. So I'm having to be more mindful about my own emotions and stuff too. So I think that is specifically what I'm working on as of right now and I think that's been very, very helpful to me to realize that you just got to keep doing it. That's it. Yeah, you can practice and you can make like a six hour a day schedule for yourself, but you just have to keep doing it. That's the most important part.
Speaker 2:Those are two things that I feel like have been kind of a theme this year on the pod, where I love routine. I love routine, I love structure. I've always been a person like that.
Speaker 2:When I was younger, I lived in a house that was a little chaotic, because my grandmother was young when she had me or when she had my mother. My mother was young when she had me, so I lived with siblings who weren't my siblings, they were my uncles and aunts, but they were like brothers and sisters and I was surrounded by my great-grandparents even at one point. So we had so many people in the house moving and grooving and stuff going on that in my great-grandparents' house things were a lot more organized because my grandpa was very OCD than in my mother's house or my grandma's house. It was very chaotic and stuff weren't as clean as you would want it. And as a kid when I was in those scenarios, I would always kind of have anxiety because I was like, didn't like that it was dirty, but then I didn't want to have to clean up after everybody, if that makes sense.
Speaker 3:I didn't get to a place where I was able to just say, okay, I want this clean.
Speaker 2:Where I was able to just say, okay, I want this clean. I have to just do this for me, not because my siblings should have done it already. That's the stuff that I'm very fortunate to be in the relationship I'm in now. To get to a place now where Adrienne very much is not the neatest person in the house let's put it that way but, with that being said, she usually have intention to clean and she grew up in a house where the intention was always there and they would eventually do it, maybe the next day, maybe in the morning time, like her father's routine was to clean in the morning. So the dishes are just sitting in the sink overnight and they'll be clean before you wake up in the morning. So stuff like that is something that I have to accept within me to know I can't wait. All night I will go to sleep thinking about those damn dishes. So I am the one that's affected by this. She's not affected and she will clean it. I just need to do it now then, if I want to do it. So I've had that opportunity to grow with that.
Speaker 2:But as a kid I didn't have that mentality. I didn't have the adults around me to encourage me to think that way, and so it was very frustrating and anxious, and chaos that's the only word that comes to mind. It was chaotic. Creating a routine and understanding that I can step forward and take care of some business helps with that. But then having so many ideas, I've always been this kid who wants to make music. I've always been this kid who wants to act, who wants to sing, who wants to write. I'm a BFA musical theater graduate. They train us to dance, to sing, to act, to work the box office, to work behind the scenes. They want you to have multiple skills, and when you have that kind of a mentality, it's very easy to overwhelm yourself and put yourself in a position where you're not doing anything because you don't know where to start doing anything because you don't know where to start.
Speaker 2:And so this year and last year, actually writing out what I'm going to be doing, what time, when, where, how creating events task has really helped me hone in onto my real goals. I really would love to be a great piano player. Something I never really enjoyed doing is playing an instrument while singing. I've never enjoyed that. I'm too concerned about the instrument because when it comes to my vocal instrument, I am very comfortable with that, so I'm not thinking about that. So when I'm singing on the piano, if I can't do my normal singing preparations or breathe properly, it's because I'm so focused on something other than the singing. So give me a glass of whiskey and I'll just sing. That's usually how it goes. But I feel like we live in a generation now where there's so much access to so many things but then also it is still very closed in where I'm writing music and putting stuff out. It's going to get out faster if I do it than it is with others, because there are so many people working and grabbing people and taking people's attention that the person I need right now might not be free until next month, and it's like I want to at least have a demo together. I want to at least be able to perform this at a show. I want to be able to go to a bar and do this now. So I'm working on my piano but I'm being patient. It's very difficult to get it down, but I schedule a time for that. When it's that time, I focus on that and then, when it's not that time, I give myself some time to breathe, and it's truly helped me to analyze what I really want. It's helped me see the road to where I could be, and not sure how much of that kind of idea sparked anything for you, but I truly think that creating a routine and also having some type of planner or phone use your phone to really purposefully create tasks. I want to do my scales. So I'm going to do scales today. I'm going to do this today. I'm going to do that today and when you have those three things that you're going to do that day, do those three things. When you're done, I'm done for today.
Speaker 2:One of my teachers I did a masterclass with her name is Faith Prince. She's an incredible performer who's worked on Broadway and is an actress and all that. She always says that for her career she does three things a day for her career. It could be anything, but as long as it's going towards your career. You did three things that day, meaning I posted something on Instagram, I ordered some business cards and I contact the guy who does photography or contact somebody who is involved with the newspaper that could possibly review my album. Those three things were done. Today I can do more stuff, but if I for sure have three things that I want to do and I accomplished that, that is worth rewarding yourself in the sense of you are good. You did something today, and I think that is usually the beginning point for any person who struggles with where to start on a goal. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:It's honestly refreshing hearing you say the exact sentiment that I'm feeling, because it's like you, to a certain extent, are doing that like live music thing more than I am, and to see that you still have those same hangups and it's still the same old issue, like no matter where you're at. It's like, it's refreshing, it shows it's like we're you're going to keep feeling that way, but it's going to get a little better every day, like you just just gotta keep making sure that you're doing it but also that you're taking care of yourself, that you're doing something that's just mindless and it's fun, and then it'll take your stress off. And I don't know, maybe I need to start using this uh calendar function on my phone a little bit more. Yeah, but I mean I I got a little little app to go through my octaves and all that. I uh do my little music duolingo every day and that's something I get.
Speaker 1:I look at some sheet music and identify some chord signatures and all that and just kind of be mindful what I'm looking at and it's good. It's always very nice when you see it pay off later down the road and somebody asks you something how many sharps are in this? I'm not gonna answer that now because I couldn't tell you, but it's always nice to see your own personal growth in those things.
Speaker 2:I think one of my biggest blessings with me being fortunate in doing things is I moved to LA, and moving to LA showed me exactly what you just said Someone that you admire. You talk to them and they've found success in the way that you're like I want that. You see these people and you think they're so great, they made it, but then you talk to them and you realize they're just normal people and you realize, oh, they're struggling. A great example I have a whole list of celebrities I met, but there was a lady who played a character on Orange is the New Black and in the show she's like really, really like. She's almost like a meth head. I think she like kind of has this really weird personality and yellow teeth and is very like mean and weird.
Speaker 1:And the little brown headed girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the brown, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so.
Speaker 2:Pensatucky, I think that's yeah, yeah. So she came into one of my restaurants I was working at and I remember going to her table. She was outside by herself on the phone and I came on and just dropped waters and she was like I'll be out ordering in a second. I was like okay, cool. And walked back in and gave her her time. When she put her phone down, I came out and I remember going up to her. I knew exactly who she was. Orange is the New Black was my shit. And I remember going up to her. I knew exactly who she was. Orange is the New Black was my shit.
Speaker 2:But at this point I've been living in LA for a while, so I knew when it came to celebrities, you just got to avoid that. Oh my God, can I please get a selfie? You got to just be normal and that usually helps you. And so I just kept breezy and was like, okay, so these are our specials, this, this and that. Are you going to have anyone joining? And she's like, yeah, I got somebody coming, so I'm not going to order just yet. I'll take a drink.
Speaker 2:And she kind of just had this look on her eyes and you could tell something's wrong. I was like I hope you're doing okay, that's all. I said it before I hit it out. She's like it's been a long day, been a long hard day, and she had another phone call. So I left and started hearing the stuff that they were talking about on the phone and the problems she was having was family dealing with people trying to get people to just do stuff that they should do. It was very frustrating to her and it was so relatable.
Speaker 2:I was like that's something that I deal with all the time with my folks. It's something I deal with all the time and to see someone who, in my eyes, is a successful person struggling the day isn't as perfect as you want it to be. When you're successful, it's still a battle. It's still something that you have to dig yourself out of. That really changed my whole perspective on my career, because whenever I meet somebody that's out there working and they can't see that blessing in front of them, it's because they have the wrong people or they have the wrong thoughts going around it. You got to see how incredible it is to do the things that you love. If you're doing something you love to do and you're getting to do it, there's people like you, working in finances, who all you want to do is just sing. That's all you want to do. And you got to watch these people who are doing that, tell you. Oh, it's not everything you think it is, it's like come on, please don't tell me that.
Speaker 1:Tell me, it's everything. I think it is.
Speaker 2:But even then it's never the same for any person. So they might be struggling because they never got their cards right in the first place. Mentally they might have gotten a break or gotten something given to them in a different way, and we never know how people got to where they are in our society. Know how people got to where they are in our society. So I try my best not to compare myself to other people, to continue to work on me. Understand that it starts with me. Anything that I do, it starts with me, and if I'm good, we good.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying oh, absolutely One of the things that've noticed, uh, with myself, that's one of the the worst mental habits I have is I have like, for some reason I will do that thing where you have like a conversation with yourself in your head, where you try to like gauge how you think a conversation or a callback or something like that's gonna struggle that yeah, yeah, so you're prepared for what's gonna happen, but the is all that is completely made up, so it barely helps you.
Speaker 1:It's honestly just kind of self-defeating at the end. So this year I'm trying to go into these moments where I email people or call people to see if they want to collab or submit for directors who I know don't like me, just to see. If, like, hey, you never know, just send it in If you're. If your talent and professionalism can speak for itself, maybe you can mend some old bridges. There's no point in talking yourself out of something you want to do before you even get in the room and show them that. And it's like it seems like such an easy thing to like get over. But it's just something I had to be so mindful of.
Speaker 1:This year. I had gotten this one part until eventually because I was like oh, the rehearsals start at the end of this week. I kind of need to know about this before I start submitting for other things. I'm just like should I email them? What do you mean? Should I Just email them? Who cares? They're people, they're going to answer you back.
Speaker 1:Stop second guessing yourself and just talk to the people you want to work with, because nine out of 10 times, so long as you're not being a weirdo which I never am in those professional emails, because I'm terrified of being a weirdo in those Just email them. Just put it out there. People want nobody comes to this show to see you mess up. Nobody like sends out feelers for people to be in these parts because they don't want submissions. Crazy to think that you have to just be your own fan and be in your own corner for these things. Just going through this next year with all that in mind, it's scary and it's exciting at the same time and I'm just. I'm so looking forward to actually like starting to work on it.
Speaker 3:Excuse me? Yeah. How about you give him a mic? Don't worry, I brought it from home.
Speaker 1:Yeah um, I've just noticed that we're what Act 2?.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's Shane Murphy, everybody I have to go.
Speaker 1:I just noticed that we're in act two of the Sam Cooke show and we have him sing one of his most famous tracks.
Speaker 3:Yeah, one of them.
Speaker 2:That just so happens to be a you want to get in the light. Yeah, of course I would love to be seen.
Speaker 1:No but he had a really famous song that happened to be a duet.
Speaker 3:I'm just wondering if you want to go help with that.
Speaker 2:I mean you know it's pretty dope. I appreciate you actually offering your service. It would be really awesome for me to say that Okay, we're going to do this.
Speaker 3:You want to do it? Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 2:Okay, you want to give him one light, of course give more than life course.
Speaker 3:Make sure that makes you look good. You got a little danger appreciate wiping me on stage judge me only judge me. Let's play, let's do it for them.
Speaker 1:I got a little bit of song too y'all ready If you ever change your mind.
Speaker 3:Don't stop leaving, leaving me behind. Oh, bring it to me, bring your sweet loving, bring it on home to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I left when you left, but now I know I only hurt myself. I'm gonna hurt myself. Oh, bring it to me, bring your sweet loving, bring it on home to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll bring you to rest, and money too. That ain't all. That ain't all I'll give you. Oh, bring it to me, bring your sweet love in.
Speaker 2:This is from my April 30th performance of 2023 at the Academy Theater. I did a tribute to Sam Cooke and I had to have Shane get up there and sing this tune with me. He's a phenomenal voice and he could hit all those notes. And everyone in the audience saw him and did not expect that voice to come out, and that was the point. He's so flipping good. So shout out to Shane, and I love performing with him. You can listen to my music on all streaming platforms and if you want to check me out for more information, go to DomLamorecom, where you can get anything and everything. Dom LeMore, bring your sweet, loving.
Speaker 3:Bring it all home to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, woo, woo Woo.
Speaker 2:You know what I love. I love the Mandalorian television program and the reason why it brings me so much joy Every time I turn it on. I've seen every episode at least five times. Every episode at least five times. But I feel like Jon Favreau really captured the essence of Star Wars for the casual Star Wars fan, you know, when you are someone who. I didn't watch the original Star Wars when I was younger. I grew up and the first Star Wars movie I saw was episode two and we went to the movie theater in middle school and that was when we saw that. And so for me, the prequels is my entry point, which makes it a lot difficult for other people to hear that because they're like, oh, the prequels are horrible and I'm like, I personally love the prequels.
Speaker 1:Star Wars. Having multiple entry points that are blindingly different quality narratives and visualized is the funniest aspect of that fandom.
Speaker 2:Exactly what you're saying is exactly the thing. I came in with episode two, which is 20 times more advanced with the CGI and the world building than the original trilogy. So for me, I'm seeing these incredible Jedi temples and these incredible landmarks and all of the space flying and the cars and the cities I'm getting that with my productions of Star Wars. And then I go back and watch the old ones and I'm like, oh, this is movie. Oh that, that is an old looking thing. And I'm watching the VHS and I'm like, oh, this is rough, this does not look as nice as the new ones.
Speaker 1:The original films are just a solid like very good practical special effects, like Hero's Journey story and yeah, it's in space and it's all stylized really nicely, versus the prequels, which it's like he, it's like you can enter, watching jar jar binks and being like what is, what is this? Yeah, or you can you watch like grievous have six lightsabers that he's fighting with at the same time dude, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 3:I don't see why I would not like that and that right.
Speaker 2:There is exactly why it was difficult for me, because people in star wars fandom are the worst type of fans. There's only one group of fans that's worse than Star Wars fans and it's Kobe fans. But I'm not going to talk about basketball right now. But, with that being said, I still love everything, even with the sequel trilogy. People hate that as well. With the sequel trilogy, people hate that as well, and I've been rewatching it and watching it with a new type of glasses, like I'm looking at this as this is just a continuation of what I already know. It doesn't matter that it's not as great. It sucks in certain moments. There are moments I can't get over, princess.
Speaker 1:Leia space forcing herself back to the ship is still ridiculous. Wait, why is Rey healing this space worm? Oh, so she can ass pull it later in the movie and it's like, okay, this is directorial. Exactly those kind of things I was like those things.
Speaker 2:It's hard to watch, but also you just got to take it. And Mandalorian though the Mandalorian was one of those things where it's a completely different story in the same galaxy and there's elements of star wars that pop in. Boba fett comes out of nowhere or ahsoka comes in, but you got this great story between a provider and his, his kid. Pretty much Every time I watch it I feel like I'm sitting down like I used to when I was younger and the show that it reminds me of the most. This is so bizarre, but it's the truth. I used to watch the show. My grandpa all the time was Walker, texas Ranger.
Speaker 2:Oh, my dad loved Walker Texas, my grandpa loved it and they would always watch it, and that's kind of the feeling I get when I watched the Mandalorian. I get those feelings where I was with my grandpa and we was watching literally the most incredible white dude beat all these dudes up and then his partner was a black dude. That always got beat up and it was hilarious. I used to love watching that show.
Speaker 1:Are you sure they can do that?
Speaker 2:I'm like why is he getting beat up? He gets beat up every episode and Walker got to come and save him. But that's what I'm loving right now. I'm loving the Mandalorian. It's bringing me joy. How about you?
Speaker 1:That's a great choice. Okay, I think I got a good one. Mandalorian is a great choice. It's like it's wolf and cub, but just with like a serialized like. I love when they show the, the concept art at the end of the episode with yeah and lauren theme over it, you're like, oh man, they knew what they were making here. This is for people to watch.
Speaker 1:I, I just love stuff. It's that meticulous and that, like anybody can jump into it. Uh, so I guess, to sort of counterbalance that, I'll say something that almost that everybody can't get into. I, you know what I really love anime. I love anime. It. We are in a golden period of just a lot of stuff's ending. So you're getting some of the like most breakneck, like action and emotional arcs, like you're getting the end of them. You're seeing some of the most beautiful stuff you've ever seen, like put on a, like pen and paper, so you can watch it animated and just like every day I'm like reading an like an emotional arc on like one piece or something at work and I'm crying because it's like literally crying in the club because, like six to eight years ago, this little like comic book that I read is having an emotional arc payoff years of real world time later yeah and you get to like hear stories about how the mangaka are also overworked.
Speaker 1:But they, like, they fully gave uh kubo, who wrote bleach, a do-over, like they're. Like you were in super bad health and you were being rushed and you didn't get the ending to your piece of work that you wanted. So we're just going to let you do a do-over. Take all your characters, mash them together in a big emotional arc that you get to see pay off for everybody. Everybody gets their big fight, everybody gets their end of their story. All of it's incredible. Everybody gets their end of their story. All of it's incredible.
Speaker 1:And just the idea of like giving author, like authors have complete artistic control over something, to the point where, like like oda put out one piece live action, he was attached to the hip yeah, to make sure nothing. And it ended up being it's one of the worst anime you could possibly adapt to a live action, but it it worked the best out of them because there was just so much heart and soul put to it and just watching that. Those victories for just the mangaka and all the people that bring it on to voice people. Like they retired one of the voice actors in one piece because he started having health issues. Yeah and uh, they passed on to a new voice actor.
Speaker 1:And I think just getting to like share all these emotional wins while also getting to just watch the most insane breakneck fight sequences just at my leisure has brought me so much joy this year. Like watching bleach, thousand year blood war and just being like, yeah, this guy is fighting the right hand of god and he has the power to like turn clouds into poison, and you're like how would that ever work? And you're just like just watch man, yeah, it's so much fun. It's like at the heart of it, it's. This episode is just about like there's just this guy who is doesn really want to be violent, but he's forced to be and he's, unfortunately, really good at it. But his emotional arc is that one of his friends who died left his little sister in the care of him and you're just like man.
Speaker 1:That's so perfect. They get to have their emotional battle and then they get to have the stupid anime battle they're having in front of it and it's so nice to watch all of it. And it's just. It's so nice to watch all of it come together and it always brings me joy. I named my cat lucci after character one piece. Everybody loves it and we got in the one piece card game and just having that is something that's always behind me. It's something that that always makes me want to wake up the next day. I'm just like dude, gotta see, got to see how One Piece ends. Can't quit now, no matter how bad it gets. We got to see how One Piece ends.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But that's something I really love.
Speaker 2:I truly appreciate your time. This has been so dope just to get to have more of a deeper conversation. We've had so many conversations over the years and it's always great to just catch up and to hear your voice. The way this works every episode is very simple. We got through everything we wanted to say. We spoke about topics, did our thing. Last thing I ask and all I want to know now is how do you feel?
Speaker 1:And all I want to know now is how do you feel? How do I feel I feel in this moment? I'm incredibly grateful that I have friends like you, who I can jump on the projects and just go upstairs and do a little podcast with my bud. I'm grateful that I can go do a musical here, and then I'm grateful that I have this whole year ahead of me. That's with all these people that I love. Things are going to be bad sometimes, but I'm excited to get things going. That's how I feel right now, and I'm thankful for all the people who are in my corner, because they are the ones who are going to change this next year for me.
Speaker 2:Cheers to you.
Speaker 2:Cheers to you. Cheers to you. It was nice talking to you, man. I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. The opening quote. Credit goes to Roy T Bennett and shout out to my guy shane follow shane at the shane murphy on instagram. Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us a good rating five stars, please, and thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. If you like this episode, you should go check out a previous episode that I did. I did one called grief with my gosh, chris Shank. Great, listen, check it out. Follow me at dom underscore l-a-m-o-u-r. On instagram or at domlamorecom. I'm Dom Lamore, much love.
