"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
Alcohol, Education, and the Spirit of LA
Dom L'Amour speaks with Jacob Buckenmyer (@jabucke) about Drinking, The California Fires, Education and so much more!
What happens when you mix the heart of Los Angeles with an exploration of emotions, food, and culture? I'm joined by my friend Jacob Buckenmyer to unpack the myths surrounding LA’s identity, especially in the face of the California fires, and to challenge the stereotype of it being just a playground for the elites. We dive into our personal journeys with alcohol, from growing up in a dry household to those wake-up calls that made us rethink our habits. Jacob’s stories are both candid and relatable, painting a picture of how environments and experiences shape our perceptions and choices.
Food lovers, prepare to challenge your understanding of dining! We share contrasts between Italian leisurely meals and the fast-paced American food culture, inviting you to rethink what it means to truly savor a meal. Our conversation touches on deeper themes of generational influences and how the scarcity mindset can shape our approach to food. These reflections serve as a springboard to discuss the broader cultural narratives that influence our consumption habits and how childhood teachings linger into adulthood.
We also venture into the educational landscape, highlighting the gaps in traditional teaching methods and the need for practical life skills in school curriculums. The conversation shifts toward political discourse and the resilience found within LA’s diverse communities. With a spirited nod to the film industry and the Star Wars saga, we celebrate storytelling, collaboration, and the enduring spirit of Los Angeles, revealing a city that is much more than its Hollywood facade. Join us in reflecting on the narratives that shape our world and the communities that bring them to life.
Opening quote: MLK
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Featured song: "I Will Always Be Loving You" Lyrics by Dom L'Amour, Music by Mike Harvey
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
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And it also means that, because it's a city of artists, it's a city of a lot of people that scrap and fight just to be here, and so when you see people be like, let it burn. It's just a city of elites, it's just a city of rich people, it like tears my heart out because I'm like I'm not that this fire coming over the hill.
Speaker 2:There's a real danger it could burn down my apartment building, not my house, my apartment building, my one bedroom apartment that I live in with my partner. That would be devastating. Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here, my name is Dom Lamoure and you are listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast on today's episode. So we welcome back my guy, jacob Buckenmeyer, and we speak about drinking, the California fires and education. We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat right now.
Speaker 2:Usually get a flight so I can sample all of the different styles and see the quality and grade them. I enjoy that shit. But recently, like it's like even one beer. I'm kind of like I don't need the beer, that's the thing, and people need this alcohol. You know what I'm saying and it's you start to realize just how different your body acts and reacts to everything when you don't have alcohol in it. It's kind of mind blowing. I mean, it makes sense. You know what I'm saying, it makes sense, but it's like one beer should be fine, right, but then you stop having it all together and realize when you have that one beer, your body does react strongly to that one beer. It might not be like you're sick, but you're lagging a little bit, you know we can be honest and say that alcohol is a poison.
Speaker 1:You can't get really around that.
Speaker 2:That's something that I've been telling my brain too, Cause, you know, I go to work at a brewery pretty much every Tuesday Tonight I'm going to be there but I'm going to be drinking soda water, Cause I'm like it's poison and I'm trying to kind of convince myself that, not convince myself, just kind of. You know, I go to this place. I get a free beer every week. So I'm like, oh, I might as well get one, and it's like sometimes I don't really want one or need one, I just get it. So I could say I did it in my head. You know, recently it's been real nice going places being like, oh, I just take some water and the price tag is a lot less. I don't know how that works Incredible. Yeah, this is totally not what I wanted to talk about, but I would love to hear what you feel, because you don't ever really drink when I'm around you. Is that purposeful?
Speaker 1:No, I think. Well, okay, alcohol, I think, is I have an interesting relationship with alcohol and not in a like problematic way. At least I hope not. But I think one of the things that's interesting that I've noticed at least from talking to people growing up and things like that is my household growing up never had alcohol in it ever. Part of that is my mom's dad, my grandfather. He was a really bad alcoholic, yeah, and I just I just don't know that my dad had like a huge taste for it. I always tell the story Like I remember, like as a child, there was one moment where my dad bought a six pack.
Speaker 1:He probably drank two of the beers and then the other four sat in our fridge for a few months until my mom was like, can you just get those out of there, you're not going to drink them. And that was the only alcohol I ever remember being in my house, ever when I sort of getting to the point where I was drinking, you know, like I never did it a ton, and I think what you're referring to as well is I think I only ever felt comfortable drinking a lot in like super controlled spaces. So I would only ever drink in like, you know, my friend's basement or something, and when it would come to like theater parties or whatever, I just I don't know that I ever felt safe or just like comfortable doing that. What I was going to say, too, is that I did have a situation a couple of years ago that really reset my relationship with alcohol.
Speaker 1:I think in the last like four or five years I started drinking more not a ton, but you know, I would have situations even where I would like pour cocktails for myself when I was just like home alone and things like that, and I just started noticing like an uptick in my consumption and a lot of that, I think also like corresponded around like a breakup and the beginning of COVID and like just things being more like you know why not? And a couple of years ago I had one of my best friend's weddings from high school. I kept having people at the wedding all day like, oh, you know, we're all expecting you to be the life of the party, jacob. Yeah, and you know it was also a situation where, like, there was a party bus and they must have had like four or five coolers of alcohol for everybody.
Speaker 2:Ready to go?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they must have had like four or five coolers of alcohol for everybody ready to go. Yeah, and I think I just like used it as an excuse to get really sloppy, even to the point where, like I got cut off at the bar and I had to have friends take me off to the side and be like you need to like cool off a little bit, damn and honestly, don like that wasn't even the part that I'm building to oh man, that's bad, that's just to like set the scene, but what ended up happening was so I sat off to the side, I laid down for a bit on couch and I started to like get my bearings a bit and I pulled out my phone and I had a series of text messages from my brother that my dad was in the hospital.
Speaker 1:Obviously, being as inebriated as I was, I just couldn't process those emotions in the moment, and so I was a absolute emotional mess, to the point where, at someone else's wedding, I had a ton of people that had to take me out of that situation and take care of me, to the point where, like I, you know, I still feel guilty because, like, the groom's sister was one of these people that had to take care of me and so she's missing like part of her brother's wedding reception.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I think, you know, I still had some like learning to do even after that, but it's that's one of those situations where I kind of keep looking back to that and keep being like don't want that to happen again. Yeah, I had kind of that moment of being confronted with a side of myself that was, I guess, being irresponsible, being sloppy, being a version of myself that I am not happy with or proud of, and I like I had a wedding this past weekend and I very specifically told my girlfriend I was like I need you to make sure I have like two drinks and then I'm done. I don't want to like get in the position of having that happen again. And I even got scared because the bartender at this wedding was like trying to kill people. I was, I ordered a whiskey neat, and he filled my tumbler like halfway and I was like Jesus, dude.
Speaker 2:I feel like I've never really had a moment in my life where alcohol was needed. You know I'm fortunate for that. I've never felt like I need alcohol, and I know that because, like for so long, there's always alcohol in my house, no matter what house I'm in, because I'm a bartender, that's what I do.
Speaker 2:I make drinks literally upstairs a bar, with every spirit you can think of, and even specialty spirits from different countries, and it's like we got it in the house and I'm just like I'm going to drink this tea, baby, I'm good. So I think more and more the big thing about it. I keep telling people on here about it because I'm not drinking my scotch like normal and I guess it is something to talk about. It's just the effect. I see it due to other people, even though it hasn't happened to me. I'm like it still could if I allow it to, and I'm not going to allow it to. One thing that I'm considering, because we're going to go to Italy later this year oh, I just got back.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yeah, I would love to get a glass of wine while I'm there, and I'm more likely that'll be when I have my next glass. I'll drink some wine there, but I think if I do drink anything, I'll strictly just stick to red wine.
Speaker 1:I think like the interesting thing with drinking socially you know, drinking at parties or whatever you do you're chasing a very fine line of a feeling and it's like if you're on either side of the line, you're like maybe not having a good time, where it's like if you're not far enough along, you're like like I've got this thing in my hand and I'm drinking it and I'm kind of like I don't feel physically great but like if I can just get that, that one thing I'm chasing, like speaking like there, it's like you know you start, you're like, oh, how close is that to like talk on hard drugs and other things? But like you know, you're like, ah, it's everything's kind of annoying and I don't feel physically great and I'm trying to get this drink and chase this feeling. And then I always have this problem where I so rarely hit the fine line or like I'm having a good time and the alcohol is like just the right level, I always like don't feel it, don't feel it, don't feel it. And then I'm too drunk Yep, yeah, no-transcript. Better eating more food over there than I do eating here.
Speaker 1:And there were just like a couple of sensations that I was like acutely aware of when I was eating over in Italy and the first one was is I was not eating to the point of feeling like bloated full. Yeah, I didn't have that weird thing where, like I'm eating something and I I have the recognition that I'm full, but I still have the like urge to eat. I didn't have that. I would like reach a certain point in a meal and I'd be like I think I'm done. Yeah, the other one that I kind of was like very aware of was just also the fact that, like you take a lot more time to eat and it's a lot more enjoyable and the food like tastes different, it's like a different flavorful. I guess it's like I'm trying to get out Like I kind of talked a little bit about that that weird sensation sometimes that we have of like where, like something in our brain is itching to be like you need to keep eating this.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, it's so good, it's so good. Yeah, when you're here and then when you're like over there, you're eating just like a different quality of food. Where you're like I can really appreciate this food, but when enough is enough, I can just be like oh wow, that was a fantastic meal. Yeah, there was some like interesting perspective stuff just being over in Italy. And that's not to say that, like, italy is a perfect country and I'm sure a lot of Italians would share the sentiment or whatever. But you know, there are certain things where, like when you get the perspective of going to another country and seeing what things could be possible whether it's through diet or taking care of its people in a certain way or whatever you're kind of mad. You're like it really does seem like wild that we're over here telling ourselves that we can't do stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like every time I travel I'm more aware of what I'm eating, but I'm always going to be the person who eats fast and like, oh, this is great. I've never had that moment of realization.
Speaker 1:I had multiple meals over there that took two plus hours to eat all the way through.
Speaker 2:That's dope, though. It sounds incredible. It sounds like great conversation, sounds like great atmosphere. For you to want to spend that kind of time in a place like that, that sounds dope. I feel like it goes back to the alcohol thing, where I'm so nervous that I'll lose those atmospheres that I love. And something that popped in my head while you were explaining that fine line. I think you know that game on the price is right when they put the little disc into the thing and it like moves around and like in the very middle, the very middle is the perfect spot, but you could be all the way to the right or all the way to the left, if you you know. And then you start anywhere too. So it's like you drink, it's like you're starting either high or you're starting normal, or it's like it's everything and then it could end anywhere. And that's kind of the whole point of why everything is so off-putting to me, like why I'm like I'm kind of good on that and overeating. I think that's just another.
Speaker 2:That's a whole nother conversation when it comes to our society. I know one of the phrases that people always say there are kids, poor, in Africa who can't eat when they try to get their kids or someone to stop begging for too much food. But it's like we live in a place where if I want an avocado from Florida, one of the green ones, I can get that. If I wanted one of the black ones from California, I can get that. And here in Georgia I know exactly where to go get those two things. If I want lemongrass, if I want anything you name it anywhere in the world, I more than likely can find it here in Georgia. So I don't think we properly were taught how to eat proper porches, because we have just so much. It's like here. We want to sell all of this stuff. We have too much food that we can handle, so eat all you can so we can get rid of it.
Speaker 1:I do want to maybe also add a slight different perspective, because I was almost thinking something a little opposite, at least for certain people. I was comfortable growing up. We were certainly not wealthy but, like I know, my mom was poor, like very poor, and I know that my dad grew up in the depression.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So there was a little bit of an expectation of like you need to finish that, because I think they had that internalized thing of being like you don't know where the next meal is coming from. So, just like that's enough, eat it. And I even and like this is changing, especially after this trip and other things but like I used to joke in in friend circles when we would go out to eat, my nickname was the garbage disposal, because if anybody didn't finish their meal, yeah, I felt guilty. Don't waste that food, I'll eat it. I'll eat it, just give it to me.
Speaker 1:And I'd be full and I would still be like I just felt so bad wasting food, full, and I would still be like I just felt so bad wasting food, yeah. And so like there's a little bit about that too that I think pops up for me and I'm trying to like reposition myself around and you know, some of it I think is like the quality of food that we have, so that when we have that like finish your meal mentality or or whatever it's like you know, maybe the kid isn't eating it because he doesn't like the taste or whatever, but maybe the kid's also eating it because he's full and we don't really like trust these children to kind of express their motives behind these things, and so we just tell them.
Speaker 2:I think that's for sure what was going on in my household. Yeah, my grandma, them like no, you know, you better eat all of that food, kind of thing. And it's like I'm totally full. Or also, it's very possible, I just wanted to go back and play my video game. So it's like I get it, because if you knew me, I would be the one who would be like I'm full, so I can go back and finish the game and then come back an hour later like hey, I'm hungry still. Can I get some more of that food?
Speaker 1:and they're like dude, it's too late there's a ton of things too that I think like as an adult and I don't have children but I look at, like my younger self where it's like I used to remember being like I hate taking vitamins and so I would pretend to take vitamins and then just like have long stretches where I wasn't taking them.
Speaker 1:And I look back in an adult now and I'd be like man. How much different would I be physically if I would have just taken those vitamins or whatever. Or if I would have eaten all these vegetables growing up that I kind of like avoided because I just didn't like them. And so like I'm sure there's a certain extent of that too, happening with parents and things like that where you look at your own experiences and the things that you could be healthier now if you would have done when you were younger and like nobody was looking out for you that way or you know whatever. So I had so many just like weird factors looking on it that you're like man. I wish I had that perspective when I was six or seven. But also I was six or seven so I wasn't going to be that forward facing about stuff, and so I wasn't going to be that forward facing about stuff.
Speaker 2:I feel like I daydream about things that I realize now as an adult that I wish I knew when I was a kid, or just stuff. I don't think I would even understand if I was a kid. And it's dope to be an adult and realize these kind of things now. You know, like all right, great example. You know, like if I were to talk to a group and I was like what's something that an adult know, that kids won't know. It's like check your eggs before you buy the carton. You know that's so stupid, it's small, but it's like I mean, I'm an adult and this is stuff that I do. You know, when I go to the grocery store, make sure your coupons in your pocket.
Speaker 2:You know say like weird stuff that I see in the house now that I don't even know what age it was when I started to look at that stuff. But now I'm a homeowner and I'm looking, oh, this thing popped out of a door the other day and I'm like what was that? How did that happen? Where did this come from? How does this even work? How do I replace it?
Speaker 2:Where can I find another one? Is it at Home Depot? Is it going to be online? Do I have to go to Amazon, like I have this whole process just for this one situation that happened in the house, and then I have a million others on my head as well. So that's another weird place for Americans. Because of the privilege, we have so much at our hands, we have so much around us, we have so many things that can be given to us, we have so many things we can earn. So kind of guiding kids and stuff in the right direction or giving them the knowledge it's almost overwhelming to truly give them the you can and this and that, but there's still a lot of things that fall through the cracks when it comes to any of us here in America.
Speaker 1:I feel like I think a good example, too, comes down to different education stuff, which I'm not trying to bash anything, but I even know when I was a kid, when I was in high school, you'd be like what are the quote, unquote, pointless classes, or what are the ones that you're like, you're in and you're like this is kind of a break for me and it'd be like a nutrition or like physical education or home back woodworking shop or, and it's like those are the practical things now, as an adult, where I'm like man, I wish I understood nutrition better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I wish I understood nutrition. But also there are certain points where I'm like I wish they also like the people who taught us would have maybe taken it more seriously where, like, we're doing physical education classes and we're just like cycling through like two to three weeks of like we'll play dodgeball, we'll do golf, we'll do dance, we'll do weightlifting and you're kind of like we're just doing all this random stuff. Now I look back at it and I was like, oh, they're trying to show us physical activity is important, but everybody's going to engage with physical activity differently. Yeah, so let's do a big grab bag of stuff so that you can figure out what you like so that you can stay physically active, and it's like nobody ever expressed that sentiment to me.
Speaker 2:I get that completely yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's like what are those things where I'm like, hey, if you would have told me like this is going to be important in 10 years, cause you're going to need something like this so that you don't like stiffen up and hobble around when you're in your 40s and you can't move anymore and you're not strong enough to pick a box up and you're going to throw your back out picking your kid up or whatever, like if somebody would just be like, hey, this is important for this reason, and this is why we're doing the class this way, it would have been like like, well, maybe this two-week course of dance or whatever is not really my deal, but I get why we're doing it and I'll give it a little bit more attention and respect versus just being like, oh God, I have this hour that I've got to go learn some swing routine. That doesn't mean anything to me.
Speaker 2:But that goes more into the generation that we were taught by and raised by. Because when I think about gym class, I was in elementary school. I remember one of my gym teachers calling some kids in the class while we were playing a game you're soft, like out loud yelling. You're soft to a child. I remember this in my head and that's the kind of thing that they didn't have a proper way of speaking to people and so they wouldn't be able to communicate what you would want them to communicate. They get your shit, get your ass on the line and run. We get get in here. You're here. You're here to move God. You're sitting down in the butt. Like they immediately try to compare themselves to us or tell us that we're not as as active as them or we weren't as smart. It was a consistent bash. I felt like I'm not saying all teachers were, but especially when it came to like sports and different things like that, coaching and stuff, like you want somebody to motivate you, you want somebody to explain to you why this is important, and I felt like in every avenue, my math teacher didn't do a good enough job of telling me why we were learning certain math. I'm like well, I got a calculator Explain to me why this is important in real life. Put this against whatever it would be pointed to in the real world. Geometry was the only math class I felt like they did that with where they actually showed me how this could be helpful in the real world and I'm like I actually enjoy geometry. That was the one class I remember really liking because it was shapes and it was things and angles, Golf uses geometry and pool uses geometry, Like all that stuff really fascinated me. But my taxes and stuff I had to learn how to do that myself. You know what I'm saying and I feel like home that class. Luckily, I grew up in a house where my grandma taught me how to cook. So I got an A in that for cooking part because I knew what I was doing already. But they didn't really teach me anything. They just they kind of just gave us goals and told us, hey, try to get these goals and the books that they gave us to read. They would make us read and then they wouldn't really. I mean, in some classes they would explain what the book is talking about and give you more depth, but a lot of the time they were letting that be the teacher. And when you think about gym was a free class, you know saying when you think about gym, it was a free class, it was time to kick it. You could, you could lax off a gym and it was like that should have been. I don't know. I honestly think gym could it should have been more of a personal training class, Something where it's like let me teach you how you should create a routine throughout your life.
Speaker 2:You need to stretch this way, this, this and that, this is stretching. We're not doing this just because you need to keep doing this every day. You should be stretching before you come to gym. You should be stretching before you come to school. You should try to make a routine to keep active, because if you're active, you live better, you feel better, you breathe easier. Like so much stuff goes into this idea. But it was just. We're playing dodgeball today and that was.
Speaker 1:That was the extent you know and like kind of what you like you're landed on is. That is that thing of like you know you, you said it in a moment of like the teachers you really engaged with were the people that explained to you the importance of things. And it's funny where you like you, you were like, uh, we read these books and I didn't really get it, or whatever, and like the two subjects and like even with math you were saying, but the two subjects I remember in high school, the two teachers I loved most, and part of it was like I had, you know, my math teacher, was also my swim coach and things like that. But my English teacher and my math teacher that I had the most in high school and the math teacher was really upfront. He was really funny but he was super engaging. He did his best to explain things and the thing I think I like remember back about his teaching that really I give him the most credit for is he would be very quick to be like I don't know what this is important for Like if we were learning a subject that we had to because it was in the book and it was part of the curriculum or whatever.
Speaker 1:He would, very upfront, be like this is a super complicated thing. I kind of barely understand it. There's not a whole lot of practical application for it, but we're going to learn it and then in two weeks we'll move on to something else and this will be more fun. And so he kind of gave us that expectation of two, of being like I'm going to be honest with you about it, this isn't even my thing. I don't. I'm not the expert on this. It's not super useful. But if you just stick with me for two weeks, we'll get through it together and then we'll move on to the next thing. And then, likewise, in my English classes, you know we would read. Being from Missouri, I'm sure you have the same experience, but it's like we read Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn throughout, like K to high school probably like three or four times.
Speaker 1:What a time. But I will say, like reading it in high school, I was like, given context, it wasn't just like we were reading and picking up the plot line of the story. It's like, okay, let's talk about the broader picture of what Mark Twain was doing with this story and saying about society as a broader concept, and also like how this story specifically fits into this point in history and why people were so engaged with it. And we could do the same with Romeo and Juliet. And then, like, as we moved on and started to do like college composition classes and we're learning how to write different papers and approach things where it's like I remember like that was like the interesting format of that class was obviously like you're taught how to write different papers, but it's like we're gonna do an instructional paper because maybe you're somebody that's gonna write instructional manuals or you're going to have to be the person in your job that has to teach everybody how to do a certain procedure. We're going to do argumentative papers because you're going to be, you know, a journalist that's going to have to argue two points. Or you're going to be a politician, or you're going to be you know whatever, and like, honestly, the one that I ended up, I was like my goal in this class, because she would always save a good example of each paper if she found one. And I'm like I'm a goal and I was like I'm going to, I'm going to be one of those papers, I'm going to be the one that I'm going to figure out what. It is my thing that she's going to save my paper, and the one that she ended up saving for me was I wrote a movie review and so it was a review of something and so, like I like, looking back now, I have so much respect for them because they could give me it wasn't just like stay in the parameters of this thing and figure it out, it was the like, let me tell you why this is important. These are the tools we're going to do, but also it's going to give you a wider breadth of tools that you can use in your life, and so we want you to have those tools. And, like I'm sure you know, we always touch on some kind of politics or whatever when we're talking.
Speaker 1:But, like, my biggest thing is I'll read things on the internet from people, or I'll listen to people's arguments to why they believe something or support someone, and I'm like but that's not an argument, you're not making an argument, you're just telling me how you feel about something there's not.
Speaker 1:You haven't expressed an idea in a proper way, you're not debating me, you're just yelling at me. You know there are times where I'm like we've, we've lost a little bit of the objectivity at times, like I realized that there are a lot of subjects, especially around politics, that are very subjective and like. This is my experience in this topic. But there are times where I have to be like but you have to explain to me in a way that is not just you feeling stuff, and you know like we need evidence, we need you to, you know, argue a point of view, and we've lost some of that ability and that language. I think like as a people and I don't even mean just Americans, but I think like as people in general we've, we've lost the ability to pull our experience out of ourselves and look at a broader story and use that broader story to shape our argument and everything is just so self-centered or so subjective. I guess let's. Yeah.
Speaker 2:What I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 1:Oh, 30 minutes in 30 minutes in. He says that's how it goes. With all the fires going on in LA this year, which were horrible, and you're impacted of course, for reference for anybody who's listening, I have a stack of bags sitting behind me right now, in case we need to pick up our bags and go. I am about probably four blocks from the edge of an evacuation zone, and a few days ago I watched the fire like crest the mountains into, like the San Fernando Valley, like in my direction.
Speaker 2:So yeah, and to be clear though, I've been a lot luckier than other people I ever met. I always vibed with the people who were like I'm born and raised here. Those were always my favorite people to interact with there, because you didn't feel like they were trying to get anything from you. They were just being genuine themselves. They had the best recommendations for you to go eat and hang out in different places to check out. So I always loved being there because of those reasons. My boy, jose shout out to him always went to the Dodger games with us and the Lakers games. And I am curious to see because you're from Missouri like me and one thing that I feel like every time I talk to a friend from home who lives in LA, when they'd say they go back to Missouri, they constantly hear people be like oh, you live in California.
Speaker 2:And something that I've seen a lot on the news are people being not on the news, social media, people being like let it burn. California is horrible. Those people out there are so bad anyway, the devil is out there. That's why they're burning, because they need to go to hell, kind of thing. I always think about those locals who were born and raised there. They're just people trying to live. They're normal people, it's not some crazy difference. And then also, these people who are cursing it don't realize that a lot of people are just as Republican and conservative as them out there too that are suffering hard because of this. It's not a party lines thing, it is a tragedy. I'm just curious if you've noticed a lot of that coming in from the outside while being there.
Speaker 1:Well, I think where I want to start is one of the things. When you were talking about like you always kind of like vibed well with like the locals is, I almost was thinking I was like there's a little bit of St Louis in that, yeah, which is where, like you know, you're the biggest thing around. Everybody wants to say they're from LA. Everybody around that area of Missouri wants to be like I'm from St Louis and you're like nah, I'm born and raised here. You moved here.
Speaker 1:There's a little bit of that, and I say that in like the nicest way of being.
Speaker 2:I get what you're saying though.
Speaker 1:I think it keys into a little bit, though, too, of like. There is a little bit of the like a lot of people do wish they were here or from here or could live here, and there's always a little bit of ceiling around that and like, let's be clear, like I've had my fair share of things to say negatively about LA, but I've lived here 10 years now very much identify as an Angeleno, as much as you know locals will let me, I suppose. But I think too it is such a city of transplants that there is not as much safeguarding of that identity as long as you've put in the due diligence to be part of the community and to love the community and to learn to live in the community. Obviously, a lot of it is. You know, we're the second largest city, we're the home of Hollywood and a broader media scheme, California not LA specifically, but California has Silicon Valley, and so I think there is a very coordinated attack to tear down the ideas and the values of places like Los Angeles that, even though I hear a lot of people in and from LA be like oh this city, I am the first person to jump on the bandwagon and be like this city's public transit sucks and like I would love to just have like a subway that worked or that went anywhere valuable, but at the same time, I am the first person that if anybody, especially from back home, was like do you ever want to move back to Missouri, I'd be like hell. No, yeah, I'd be like I'm going to live in LA. I moved here, I want to be here, and so like I think there's a lot of like coordinated attacks around that. There's a lot of like coordinated attacks around that.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of misunderstanding about what this city is and like you know what. You're absolutely right. There's some evil people who live here. There's some evil people that live in St Louis. There's some evil people that live in New York. There's some evil people that live in Miami. Like it's a city, it's a city of 10 million people, and so there's a wide breadth of experience, no-transcript, and they want to like share things with the world. And it also means that because it's a city of artists, it's a city of a lot of people that scrap and fight just to be here, and so when you see people be like, let it burn. It's just a city of elites, it's just a city of rich people. It like tears my heart out Cause I'm like I'm not that this fire coming over the hill. There's a real danger. It could burn down my apartment building, not my house, my apartment building, my one bedroom apartment that I live in with my partner. That would be devastating.
Speaker 1:And also, you know, it's a different thing to be like a $1 million house in Los Angeles because of, again, another reason to kind of like throw shade at the city. Like the housing market sucks. But a $1 million house might be one bedroom, two bedrooms, built in the 1930s, falling apart on a tiny lot, not great area. That's just like full of like weeds in the front yard or whatever. And that's no fault of the people that live there.
Speaker 1:Like one of the things that you learn really quickly when you move to Los Angeles is most people that own homes own homes in these areas because they inherited it from their parents or their grandparents or whatever. So it's not even the fact that they were wealthy, it's the fact that they just the family has kept the house for a couple of generations, and good for them. They bought the house in the thirties for, you know, $20,000 and now it's a million dollars, but that's no fault of the people that live there. And then the same breath, when the house burns down and the insurance company doesn't pay for the claim. They now have nothing.
Speaker 1:You know, you kind of said it like the thing that I think gets thrown at LA the most is this feeling of like it's a city of people who are out for themselves and they don't care about anybody else. And then I like sit and I watch the last week, like one of the reports I was hearing was like fire stations and certain charities and stuff are like we're not taking donations anymore because you gave us too much stuff. Yeah, Like we have too many things and we can't, we can't keep giving them out. Like the fire stations are like y'all have brought us enough Gatorade and food and stuff like that and we're really appreciative, but we just we have nowhere else to put it. Yeah, so like thank you so much. And like people came out in droves over the weekend to volunteer and like I think too, we can neglect that. Sir, actors can be selfish, or sure you know. Like producers have like a certain stereotype, but at the same time, film is an incredibly collaborative art form is an incredibly collaborative art form. This is also a city that's used to coordinating together and working together and, you know, bringing a ton of people from all walks of life into the same studio and being like we all need you to do your job so that we can make something together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know, it's been a really weird time because obviously it's scary, it's devastating.
Speaker 1:The thing I keep hearing from people is we're all checking in with each other, being like, hey, are you okay?
Speaker 1:Stay safe out there. And it just feels like the most common response people have when you ask how are you doing Is they're just like I'm fried, I have been anxious and scared for a week straight and I just like my central nervous system is exhausted and I can't sleep and I just like want to have some kind of sense of safety. But we're all kind of like really being open to each other. Like I've seen a huge swing in a really inconsiderate, mean direction, like post-covid, and there are bits of that that feel like they've kind of left, at least for now. Who knows they might come back, but everybody the past week has seemed like much more considerate, much more open, much more like accommodating of other people and much more understanding, and you know if that's something that comes out of this. It's no consolation to the people who have lost their homes and lost their lives, but it's. It is a positive, it's something good that I hope the city will like.
Speaker 2:Hang on to that feeling of about you and I know we won't be together, I still show my love for you. Forever, no stress. I just wish you the best. All I want to do is show that I care and I will always be loving you. This is me singing my tune. I will always be loving you. That I wrote for my guy, mike Harvey. Loving you, dom Noir.
Speaker 2:You're the reason why this segment that we're about to do was inspired. Oh, it's you, indirectly. It's not because of like you did it, but your first episode with me. I believe you did the first one, yeah, the very first one, the Understanding Family episode, which is a great one. Go listen to it if you haven't listened to it yet.
Speaker 2:A lot of people hit me up like that episode was so incredible, it was so great. It took me three times to get through it. They were like I couldn't. I was relating so much, I couldn't. I had to, like, take a break. I had to take breaks while I was watching it. I feel like we can be negative and be honest, and it's hard to hear these conversations. So I wanted to make it so that at least one of the segments, no matter what episode, was positive. So this segment is called you know what I love? Very simple I'm going to start off and say you know what I love this, and after that I'll explain why. And then I'll ask you and you'll say you know what I love this? That's the second. So we're going to start this off here. You know what I love and we started it off talking about it, so I'm just going to jump back to it.
Speaker 2:Star Wars I love Star Wars. I have been going through a lot of the trilogies. I feel like something that I really struggled with was the criticism of the sequels trilogy, and I remember watching each. But I feel like each time I've gone into the theater for the sequels and for the stuff that's happened after the original you know the prequel I feel like ever since then it's just nonstop negative, negative, negative, negative, hard, hard, hard, ruining people's lives. And I'm like you know, I'm going to go in just as a Star Wars fan, knowing the story from episode one, episode six let's watch episode seven, see if it lines up. Episode eight see if it lines up. Episode nine see if it lines up.
Speaker 2:And it was very refreshing to go through that sequel trilogy again because it had a lot of the elements of the prequel that I loved, where I didn't grow up with the original Star Wars. I started at episode two. That was the first one I saw. I started at episode two. That was the first one I saw. So I was already hip to crazy advanced. You know Jedi sabered fights. General Grievous had six lightsabers in one round. Like it's like crazy, the stuff that you got in episode two and episode three and episode one, with dark mall having the two sided blade.
Speaker 1:I'm going to give it, I, I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna give it a shout out, because we it gets overlooked so often that padre sequence is fantastic there it is, see, see, and I'm one of those people who's like, oh, it's cool, but you know like they could have sped it up. But yeah, I get what you say so I will say somebody had an incredible idea recently on a different podcast which was like why is is Disney Plus not done a pod racing show? Sorry, keep going.
Speaker 2:as a Star Wars fan who, like I said, my favorites started with the prequel. I will always admit that Empire Strikes Back is one of the greatest things that's ever happened, so that's number one in my book. But after that it's episode three. I'm a big fan of those prequel episodes. And then episode seven that fight in the snow with the lightsabers was fantastic.
Speaker 2:I really enjoy Kylo Ren in general. He's one of my favorite Star Wars characters. I feel like he, adam Driver, is just a knockout of an actor and he really worked with what he had and he shined with it. Worked with what he had and he shined with it. And the last jedi I a lot.
Speaker 2:I know a lot of people didn't like it. I don't. I didn't like some of the directions that ryan johnson went with, but I was very thrilled with just how incredible the quality of that that movie is. It's an incredible quality movie and the weakest one of, of course, is episode nine, and that's just because I felt like they shoehorned so much stuff that they didn't have to and didn't create an original story. They could have gone original but I feel like they doubled down. Jj Abrams doubled down on kind of recreating stuff that already happened. Episode seven was just a basic. Episode four, rewind, and then Episode 9, it's like, okay, what can we do? Let's bring Star Destroyers that all have the power to destroy a planet. Let's do that. It's the exact same thing. Give us something else, something different. I'm looking forward to Thrawn and the Mandalorian movie that's coming out.
Speaker 1:How about you? You know what I love. I love coffee. Oh, and it's funny because on the last episode that I was on, I was talking about caffeine consumption and how I had to reframe that. But exactly, it's really funny.
Speaker 1:My journey to living coffee came with. My parents were the kind of people that would drink like six cups of coffee every single morning, would make like an industrial size pot of coffee and drink all of it by like 10 am, and I couldn't get into it as a kid, and it was because my mom would go oh, you want to try coffee? My mom was crazy because she started drinking coffee when she was like seven, so she just, I guess, was like, well, you should drink coffee, you're like 12, um, and she would brew me a cup of coffee and she'd put a ton of sugar into it and then she'd give it to me and I'd be like I don't like it. And then I had somebody when I was in my 20s be like, I'm gonna make you some coffee, I have the good stuff, I'm gonna make it for you and they gave it to me black, and I was like, oh, this is what it could have been the whole time. Yeah, I love that very like bitter taste it. I literally can feel sometimes when I take that first sip of coffee, like my body relaxing my nervous system, like focusing in and just not in a like energetic focus way, but just a like almost like you put the blinders on and everything else kind of comes into focus. And I had a really close friend. I am somebody who can drink like really bad black, itty coffee. You can just hand it to me, I'll be like it's fine.
Speaker 1:But I have a friend who also loves coffee and they have given me a new appreciation for it because they have they have every single method. They have the chemex, they have the espresso makers, they have the fancy like coffee makers that like bring in the ph balances and you can look up the roast you're putting into the pot and that they do everything it needs to do to give you the best possible pour, like it's an investment for them and it's a ritual for them. And there's some of it also to hearken back to our previous conversation around like the tea ceremonies and things of like the craft that goes into buying a good roast that's been like harvested and roasted in a way that is respectful and also preparing it in a very specific, laborious and like meticulous way that can really just like bring a new sense of appreciation. Listening to them talk about coffee and how they prepare coffee. They literally have said to me they're like it's, it's's my religious ritual every morning, yeah, and it's my thing.
Speaker 1:That helps me feel connected to other communities that have roasted and fostered these beings and done these things, but also to know that this comes from the earth and we have to do the conservation efforts to keep this thing alive and keep it special. And, like you know, I love that sense of community that can come from it, not just from keeping in mind the people that have made it, but also just like when I can sit and have a good cup of coffee with a friend of mine and foster great conversations like the yeah. So I just really love coffee and I love, like, the place it's taken in my life and it's not a huge place, but it's it's enough that I respect it and want to give it its due as something that can be special and something that can be given a lot of attention and care to and be important for people, and not just something that we grab on the go so that we have the mental awareness to not crash our cars at six in the morning on the way to work or whatever.
Speaker 2:We've made it to the end of the episode and I appreciate your time and I feel like this is a good time and it's always great talking to you. You know we do this speaking about everything we want to talk about. We've gone through all our topics. All I want to know now is how do you feel?
Speaker 1:I feel good, regardless of the fire, regardless of politics or anything like that. 2024 was really good. I'm thankful for it and, for the first time in a long time, I'm actually very hopeful for 2025. It's a good feeling to have. I feel good, and I feel even better now that I got to talk to one of my great conversation.
Speaker 2:Cheers to you, thank you very much, man, good to see you. I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. The opening quote credit goes to Martin Luther King and shout out to my guy, jacob Buck, for coming on to the pod. You can follow Jacob on Instagram at J-A-B-U-C-K-E. Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us a good rating five stars, please, and thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. If you like this episode, you should check out our previous episodes titled Tea Ceremonies, travel Stories, more with Jacob Buckemeyer or Understanding Family. Those are the two shows. They are both great listens. Check them out. Follow me at D-O-M underscore L-A-M-O-U-R on Instagram or at DonLamorecom. I'm Don Lamore, much love.
