"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
Balancing Politics, Family, and New Traditions with Chris Bates
Dom L'Amour speaks with Friend of the show aka best friend of the show Chris Bate AKA @chriselb_88.
What if the key to understanding global politics lies in our own living rooms, wrapped in family traditions and heartfelt conversations? Join us on the Black Man Talking Emotions podcast as we navigate through the intricate world of politics and personal growth. Together with my close friend Chris Bates, we untangle the complexities surrounding President Biden's current challenges, the economic landscape shaped by corporate influence, and the political drama involving his son. As the Israel and Hamas conflict intensifies, we advocate for empathy and informed discussions, acknowledging the importance of creating new traditions and fostering personal growth amidst international tensions.
Amidst a backdrop of shifting global alliances, we tackle pressing political and social issues, from the ongoing war in Ukraine to Donald Trump's recent election and its impact on public sentiment. Our conversation with Chris sheds light on Puerto Rico's enduring struggles with natural disasters and inadequate U.S. support, highlighting systemic inequalities. We also examine the intricacies of political maneuvering, especially in the context of Joe Biden's controversial decision regarding his son, adding a lighter yet insightful twist to our discussions.
Turning to personal narratives, we explore the evolution of holiday traditions and family dynamics, from cherished childhood memories to the creation of new customs that resonate with us today. Reflecting on past performances and holiday celebrations, I share how the loss of my father reshaped my approach to festivities, emphasizing the importance of meaningful gifts and balancing old and new traditions. Through intimate stories, we underscore the profound value of family connections, fostering an atmosphere of love and gratitude, and creating lasting memories that carry us through the challenges of life.
Opening quote: Carl Bard
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Featured song: "Fever" Covered by Dom L'Amour and The Andrews at Lemon Bar in Chicago.
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @dom_lamour on Instagram. Or at
I truly believe that Biden sat back, listened to everybody tell him how he couldn't run anymore and he was dumb and he was too old to be doing this and he waited and wasted everyone's time and he's the reason why Kamala didn't get elected and they try to make him sound like he's such a horrible president. The economy is horrible. The groceries are so hot. That's really the fucking president's fault. It's the corporation's charging so much money's fault. But fuck that. It's the president. And he just heard all of this stuff and he heard Trump being like I'm gonna quit and pardon every person that attacked the Capitol on January 86th. And he was like you know what? I ain't sending my son to jail. Fuck all of y'all. I'm taking my boy. I'm going to make sure not only that he's good from this little shit that they brought up recently, but from the past 10 years he's pardoned, hey, junior Junior.
Speaker 1:Like you said, it's the most gangsta shit ever and I have. No, I don't feel bad at all that he did it. Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here, my name is Dom LaMoure and you are listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. Happy New Year, happy Black History Month, and on today's episode I speak with my guy friend of the show aka best friend of the show Chris Bates, about creating new traditions, growth. We have a mental check in and so much more. Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. So, before we get into the real conversation, I wanted to start off with a couple of events that happened from October to December, because we haven't done a pod since September and a lot of shit happened. So number one the escalation of Israel and Hamas. I think last time we talked I told you I don't want to say shit about that.
Speaker 2:No, that's not any part of that it's horrible and personally I haven't really dove deep, deep into that, so I wouldn't want to talk about something sound ignorant on a subject that I really hadn't studied about. You know what I mean, but I do know it's terrible.
Speaker 1:I still don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 2:I know it's terrible it's horrible.
Speaker 1:I know folks who are really being affected by.
Speaker 1:I know people who have family in Lebanon and people who have family in Israel and Gaza.
Speaker 1:And I remember when I went to Ireland we went to this prison and at the prison they was giving us the whole history between the Northern and regular Ireland and how that was such a big civil war and why they're split.
Speaker 1:And this white dude from America cut the dude off and was like, well, I watched this documentary and he said this and he was like listen, I don't know what you watched. Even while he was talking to us, he said I don't want to say too much and get too political, because we can have a whole bunch of different people and I don't know who is here, so we're just going to keep it straightforward. And the guy was pressing him, trying to get him to speak more about his true feelings on the conflict, and I'm looking at him like nigga, you are not from here, this is not none of your business and you have no idea what these people went through. How are you going to sit here and act like? You know as much information as a person who lives here, who's been raised here, whose family's from here who had people that more than likely died in the Civil War. For all that, you piece of trash, shut up and let them live.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you touched on it because I feel like when it's issues like that that's going on in a different country, the only way that you probably should even have remotely something to say about it is if you got a close friend, relative or you know somebody that's directly affected by the issue that's going on. And the reason why I say that is because you can read news articles, you can look it up, you can do all that, right, you only reading what you're searching for and you're only reading what they want you to know at certain times, right? So it's very hard to have a in-deep conversation about something that's going on with that unless you actually know somebody like hey, I got a best friend from that region, you know they telling me different stuff because you know they still got family that's over there that they talk to. This is my opinion and of course you will have an opinion because it's somebody close to you. So you voice your opinion and let people know that you are not with none of the BS.
Speaker 2:But that's probably the only time. The only time I could really speak on an event is if something going on with African-American people and it's in the United States, physically on the ground and I'm here If I don't know nobody over there and I don't really know exactly what's going on. I'm not going to be ignorant and speak and say I'm against it or I'm for it. I'm not. You know what. It's other people that's educated. They can talk about what's going on over there. You know what I'm saying, so that's just me.
Speaker 1:Number two, moving on, of course, another thing that I really don't want to talk about, but I'm just going to say, because it happened the continued war in Ukraine, that shit's still going on. Yeah, it is like, I feel like things are just going to get worse where we're at in politics.
Speaker 1:Definitely, Canada is about to resign as well. So you have multiple allies who more than likely, will lean more conservative and more country first, which I think that's going to be the era that we're in. We're going to be living in the era of country first quote unquote racist towards everyone else, trying to keep it one way whatever. And with Ukraine, they depend on us a lot. They're not in NATO, so technically, with Russia attacking them, we're not going to really defend them because they aren't in NATO. But also we are technically defending them right now, sending them ammunition, sending them all of this stuff. And it's just so bizarre to see that this thing has continued, that Trump is going in and he is so close with Putin. I can only imagine what he's going to do when he gets in the office when it comes to Ukraine. So I feel bad for them Sending love to Ukraine. Number three Trump, of course, got elected as president. I don't you know what.
Speaker 2:I got a whole bunch of stuff to say about this. I know here's the thing is. I always tell people. I know. I know here's the thing is. I always tell people when it comes to voting for your president, guy or lady you think is qualified for this position, that's all up to you. I just don't understand. After the election, and you know just, and I guess you know, you take social media for what it is right. It's social media, people trying to to click, clicks, people trying to make money, so it's all of that. But what I don't understand about this is that you go and you look at instagram or tiktok or whatever the social media is, that you're on and you see a post about trump and he's saying something he would like to change the gulf of new mexico to the gulf of america. Yeah, okay. Now when you hear stuff like that, right, we don't even have to.
Speaker 1:Now when you hear stuff like that, we don't even have to go further. When you hear someone say some shit like that out loud, what do you think they're?
Speaker 2:really trying to do, and that's my thing. And then you go underneath these comments. Right, I'm reading comments because I like to see what people are talking about. When I see stuff like that, I want to see what people I'm going under the comments and everybody pointing the finger talking about. I can't believe y'all voted him in. That's y'all president. That's y'all president. Boom, boom, boom. I mean the first pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. It's just going. I mean it took me some scrolling to get to a comment that was pro-Trump, right.
Speaker 2:My problem is is, if you voted for this man, stand on it. Don't try to hide your hand now, because he's not here in office and all the stuff that everybody else knew, you thought you knew, but you didn't know, is coming to light. Stand on it If that's your president and that's who you said you voted for and I'm not even going to ask you who you voted for because it's rude, but if you know you vote for him, stand on it. Don't try to hide your hand now that you think stuff is about to hit the fan, because I that's my only beef about the whole president's things is like nobody want to take accountability for voting donald trump back into office yeah, moving on, puerto rico is still kind of taking l's because of hurricanes and electricity has been out and I'm just praying for them because I really feel like Trump he treats Puerto Rico like it's not a part of the United States, and that's not okay and I feel like for years we've treated it like it's what it is.
Speaker 1:It's a territory, so technically it's a part of us, but it should be more. It should be a state. We should be taking care of Puerto Ricans and looking out for that and really creating an American environment there that they can depend on, understanding that the power is going to be taken care of, understanding that they're going to be able to get the funding to take care of the country when they've been a territory for so long. It's infuriating, granted once again, that's another thing that I haven't done enough research to completely talk on. I'm very nervous because the majority of the people who live in Puerto Rico are Brown. They aren't white Americans and that's hard.
Speaker 2:I, like I said I'm with you, I don't I. I'm with you, I don't. I would need to do more research about it and I wasn't going to bring up that it's brown people over there, because when you argue about that point, you're arguing about systematically things and that's not what we. We're not arguing about the systematically things. We're arguing about a country who's been hit numerous times and it's part of our territories and we're not doing anything about it from what I see. But, like you said, it's brown people over there, so we'll just leave it at that.
Speaker 1:Just like in Flint, we'll keep it pushing Number five. This is actually a little lighter than the rest of the stuff, because it's horrible.
Speaker 2:The stuff that's going on in the world is horrible right now.
Speaker 1:But number five, Joe Biden not sending his son to jail. I thought that it was worth mentioning him pardoning his son and getting off.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm going to take it, since it's lighthearted, I could go very deep into it, but I'm going to say it's some gangster stuff, right? It's some gangster stuff, right. You finna, I finna get up out of here. Hey, come on, son, listen Now. If you mess up again, that's on you, that's on you.
Speaker 1:But you good now and they made sure he was good for any crime that he possibly could have done. He said for the past 11 years he's good, yeah, but what's that?
Speaker 2:I don't know if you watch it, but you know it's always like it's these shows, or TV shows, these crime. It's about crime people, right, and they don't. They want to turn over a whole new leaf and it was like I need a clean slate. In this case, there really was a clean slate.
Speaker 1:Hey, wipe that bitch clean. He ain't going to be able to do too many more things for his son. He damn near about to die. He going to look out for him as much as he can. You know what I truly think is and the reason why I brought this up is because I wanted to say this, because I didn't get a chance to when it happened.
Speaker 1:I truly believe that Biden set back, listened to everybody tell him how he couldn't run anymore and he was dumb and he was too old to be doing this and he waited and wasted everyone's time and he's the reason why Kamala didn't get elected. And they try to make him sound like he's such a horrible president. The economy is horrible, the groceries are so high, like that's really the fucking president's fault, it's the corporations charging so much money's fault, but fuck that, it's the president. And he just heard all of this stuff and he heard Trump being like I'm going to acquit and pardon every person that attacked the Capitol on January 86th. And he was like you know what? I ain't sending my son to jail. Fuck all of y'all.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, I'm taking my boy. I'm going to make sure not only that, he's good from this little shit that they brought up recently, but from the past 10 years he's pardoned. Hey, junior Junior, like you said, it's the most gangsta shit ever and I have. No, I don't feel bad at all that he did it, but I'm still upset that we didn't get our student loans taken care of. But even then he did what he could and he helped out a lot of other people with me.
Speaker 1:You know I'm saying like it sucks that it didn't benefit me, but also he still put the work in. He pardoned a lot of people this past couple of months and I feel like he's done some good work to at least get some stress off of him when he go into retirement and he do his thing. So I think that's great. Another thing Beyonce performed on Christmas. You know how I feel about that shit. I can't believe that she would go do a football game when basketball is Christmas. That's all it is, oh hey.
Speaker 2:Basketball is Christmas. All we can talk about Listen, listen.
Speaker 1:Your sound a little hurt. I'm hurt Because I think it's ridiculous, I think it's absolutely infuriating. Now, granted, I get it, it's money.
Speaker 2:You got to understand too. Even some of the players are talking about that basketball is not exciting anymore and they need to do something. Basketball's not exciting anymore and they need to do something. Hey, man, listen, I only watch basketball in the playoffs because that's when it get good. You know this about me. But hey, they did. Nfl was talking a lot. They was talking heavy. They was like, hey, Christmas Day belong to us now. And they put it on Netflix, Dominique, they put it on Netflix and still had that many viewers.
Speaker 1:Infuriating. I was very upset. I didn't watch any of it. I didn't even watch the performance afterwards. I don't give a damn. They should be ashamed of themselves and screw them all.
Speaker 1:There's a couple of other things, but I think we've gotten the gist of it. It was a kind of other things, but I think I mean we've gotten the gist of it. It was a kind of crazy three months that I was kind of relieved that I didn't have the podcast because I was able to escape it. You know what I'm saying. Like, since I didn't have to keep my head right during that time to talk about it on the pod, I stayed away from a lot of the negative. I don't follow the comments on the post anymore like I used to. I just I don't really feel like it's healthy. It's not.
Speaker 1:I feel like the stress that I've had the last couple of months of the year, the stress I had over the election when it happened it was the best thing. Like, I'm so relieved I don't care anymore about it. I will admit I kind of checked out of a lot of the stuff going on in the world Well, not the world. I'm keeping up with all of the other stuff and trying my best to bring positivity in the world every day that I can. But when it comes to politics, when I get those messages and my text messages saying, hey, we need you to sign this petition because Trump's going to do this, I hit stop quicker than anything that I've ever hit, because it's like I'm done. I did my part. I went to vote, I told people to vote, I explained to people the stuff that was wrong and people did what they did. And not only did they do what they did, they voted unanimously. It was like two million votes over. He killed her.
Speaker 2:Yes, it was a bloodbath he destroyed her. And then she was a bloodbath he destroyed her.
Speaker 1:And then she had to certify his election the other day.
Speaker 2:This generation, social media guides a lot, and I feel like you saw this with the election, right, of course, not everybody who voted has an Instagram or Facebook or whatever. You know what I mean. But we're getting to the age, now that you can talk to your parents, where you should be able to talk to your parents about who they should vote for. It used to be your parents was telling you hey, you need to vote for blah, blah, blah, but I think it's starting to switch over and now the younger generation is telling their parents because their parents are getting older, their parents are in their 60s, right, and you know, we, our parents, oh, so we like hey, you know, this is this and this and this, and I think that this younger generation follow social media and you see the outcome of which, what you can do with social media at that time, like you know, I'm saying like social media is crazy in how it affects things like the presidency, like somebody becoming the president. That's crazy. So we got another four years.
Speaker 1:We'll be all right. I mean, I feel like I've done a lot of work in the past month on myself, with therapy and just kind of like eliminating things from my day-to-day. You know, like little things. Like I do yoga every night, I do my ab routine every other day, I eliminated my phone and iPad from my bedroom, meaning, like when I'm upstairs and I'm about to go to sleep and I go in there with the intention to get ready for bed, my phone and my iPad shut off and I allow my brain to calm down at night.
Speaker 1:Now I'm trying to find different ways to continue to, you know, avoid the social media fog, if that makes sense, cause when you do it so much, you get that foggy feeling like you're like I'm forgetting stuff. Why am I forgetting stuff? And it's been so helpful clearing my brain, having my routines writing in my planner, getting my stuff together, booking my gigs, working the gigs, working running this and this, and that it's been so rewarding to be in a place where I could sit still. You know what I'm saying you ain't got to be moving all the time. You ain't got to be moving all the time. I can sit still, I can meditate, I can keep my brain positive. I can stop forcing stuff that doesn't have anything to do with me on myself and I'm still struggling with a lot of stuff, of course, but honestly, I believe that the day-to-day is helpful. You get better every day.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. So it's just, I mean, you got to think about it, right? Life is a marathon, right, you trying to run that mug, you trying to you keep up a steady pace and you trying to go as long as possible, right, it's not a sprint, right? So every day that you are better and you feel better, that's that's you. Just, that's just one little mile that you didn't conquer. You're just trying to get to this mile and the next mile. You know what I'm saying. You just constantly just try to get better as you get older and as time goes on. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, yeah, man, never knew how much I loved you, never knew how much I cared. When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear. You give me fear when you kiss me, viva, when you're holding me tight. Fever in the morning, fever all through the night. Sun lights up the daytime, moon lights up the night. I light up when you call my name, I know you're gonna treat me right. You give me fever when you kiss me. Fever when you hold me tight. I'm really smooth Fever. And your morning fever All through the night. Let me hear you swing. Come on now.
Speaker 1:This is the classic tune Fever covered by myself and the three Andrews at Lemon Bar in Chicago. We did a great show last Valentine's Day and I'm still getting to share some of that music with you. So you know, I hope you enjoy it. And if you wanted to check out my original stuff, you can listen to my music on all streaming platforms and you can check me out for more information at DomLamore, where you can get anything and everything. Dom Lamore, I want you to bring it down with me, bring it down here. Oh, I like that. Romeo met Juliet. Juliet loved her. Some Romeo when she put his arms around him she said oh baby, how you like that you give me fever. When thy kissing fever with thy burning youth Fever, I'm his mistress. I wanna see you go down, baby Can you let them know what it's like.
Speaker 2:Let me hear a little bit of that. You know we just wrapped up the 2024 holiday season. Right, it's a warmth in the air, right? I started noticing in my 30 season. Right, it's a warmth in the air. Right, I started noticing in my 30s. Right, Holidays are really special when you have your traditions. Yes, and the reason why I say that is because after my dad passed, I really didn't the tradition of whatever I did or I thought I did, or whatever kind of died.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Now that you know I'm older and it really didn't bother me. I mean, it bothered me because I'm like man, the holidays are fun because all these traditions, you do this and you do this and you do that, and you've been doing it for so long. It feels good, it's fun, it's exciting, even though you do it every year. But you, you anticipate this every year, Right, yeah, so my holidays used to be like just dull.
Speaker 2:I've been struggling to figure out, as we get older, all my friends, how to start making my own Thanksgiving holiday, just and I know we're talking about the holiday season, but it goes farther than just just holidays or just even finding a weekend, keeping that that close by, because this holiday season made me really realize, like man, listen, we are the aunts, so we buying, we're the gift givers.
Speaker 2:Now We've been so used to getting or whatever. Of course we give, of course, because that's part of the season, but you know like we were looked at that oh, these are the kids, go ahead, but now we the uncles and the dads and the moms and godparents, and you know all this stuff. So it's like now we're there and I feel like we got to start our own traditions. Yeah Right, my question to you is is I know you, I've been knowing you for a while. I know you come from a strong family of traditions. How do you feel now that you feel like, okay, I love the traditions and I appreciate them, but now it's time for me to start making my own and start doing things that Dominique wants to do on the holidays. What do you think about that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, just talking about traditions in general. You know I'm a creature of habit, I am. There's so much stuff that I have to do a certain way and I know it's wrong to say you're OCD if you've never been clinically or whatever, but I very much have those moments where there are certain things I just got to do. I got to do this this way. I got to get four napkins out of the thing when I'm drying my hands like I got as high as I am. So when it comes to Christmas, it's the only holiday that I would quit a job for. You know, it's the only holiday that I would literally be like yo, I'm going home no matter what for Christmas period. This was the first year that I felt like it didn't feel like Christmas anymore. That really sucked, because I do love those holidays and enjoy those holidays and other holidays. I've already had the time to kind of change Thanksgiving. I've cooked Thanksgiving multiple years now, so I'm used to my version of Thanksgiving. I don't feel a need that Thanksgiving has to be a certain way. A Memorial Day is Lil John's birthday and they usually throw a barbecue for that and that's kind of something that I've missed over the years a couple of times I make it. Some years I make I don't. Well, I have my own Juneteenth barbecue. Now that I do so I still get my barbecue within that time period. When it comes to like Green Tree and Kirkwood, like different things like that, I miss that stuff. But also I do my own little Mardi Gras thing down here in Georgia and I found ways to elevate that. Now, when it comes to Christmas, that's the one where it's like I could see myself create some things and not only see myself. We've already started to have our own Christmas events. You know, in the years I don't go to St Louis and I'm here in Atlanta. I enjoy the food that we create and I love to cook and host. So that tradition thing is something that I've always felt, that no matter what happens, I will find a way to create a tradition just like that. So it's hard to consider the idea of you know like is this selfish? You know what I'm saying Me just doing it for myself.
Speaker 1:I remember one thing my great grandmother said when I was younger about one of my cousins. She always made a point to let me know that my cousin wasn't all rosy, rosy glasses whatever that phrase is because my grandpa would praise my cousin all the time and my grandma would always kind of come behind my grandpa and be like they don't support their family the way they should. She made sure I heard that Families first. Always look out for your family, always be there with your family. Don't be a stranger to family. Not only that, I have my grandma, I have my mama, I have everyone in my head, no matter what family is everything.
Speaker 1:I got to be there for family, but with Christmas and how special it is that day for me, I got to enjoy it. I got to want to be there. I got to feel like it's Christmas. And if I don't feel like it's Christmas, the urge to create my own tradition just grows more. I agree, I think it. I've never liked doing gifts. I never enjoyed shopping for people. I barely like shopping for myself. So it's one of those things that the whole holiday kind of just. I only enjoyed the family aspect of it. I think that you're an excellent gift giver.
Speaker 2:I think when you think about gift giving in the holidays, you're thinking as an aspect of the malls, you're thinking more luxury than actually something memorable. Right, you do do that, right, yeah, because, no matter what people say, right, you gave a gift this year and it was the recipes. Yeah, the family cookbook. Listen, if you didn't like giving gifts, contrariably, what you think, that idea when it never came, that's a special ideal. That's a special gift.
Speaker 1:I'll rephrase I don't like, I didn't go shopping for that gift, you know I'm saying, I know yeah, I created that gift, so like yeah, no that's that when I say I don't like giving, I don't like feeling like I have to go to a grocery store and buy you your champagne or your favorite cologne or some stupid shit that you might not ever use. Right, I want this. I don't like that. I like to. I'm very purposeful. I like to give you things that I know you're going to use. I like to get gifts that I know I'm going to use. That's why I'm like when people buy me gifts my mother and my godmother there's so many people who they love the idea of telling you how much they know you. So they go get something without telling you what it is and bring it to you and they like the aspect of you. Like it because I know who you are and that's why I gave you that gift. But in that sense, I'm like sometimes I put this on my list because I need this. You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's the annoying part. It's a mind game for me of I have to understand that this is different for everyone else, you know.
Speaker 2:You was the kid that didn't mind getting drawers and socks because it was purples. Like somebody gave you socks. You're like, oh, yeah, you know what. Somebody gave you socks. You're like, oh yeah, you know what, because mine's had a couple holes in them. You didn't know that, but I need this, right. So, in the sense of like, because you know, people always that's a running joke when it comes to the holidays is, oh, you're going to give me drawers and socks. And some people like, yeah, because Christmas is a meaningful time, right, so your gifts should be meaningful. And that's how you look at it.
Speaker 2:That's part of your holiday thing, because you know you can go different ways with it. Like, you know, some people just want to spend crazy amounts of money and just buy all these things just to say, oh, I did this or whatever. Some people just want to spend quality time with family, right, just, it's something about the holidays that you do things that you normally wouldn't do during the year. Right, you'll take off and you know doing. You go shop and have lunch and you, everybody's out. You're doing things that you normally wouldn't do. I know this because holidays come around.
Speaker 2:Dominiqueique, mommy, make some greens. Yeah, you going to taste them, because you know it's like you feel free, you feel loose, you feel like, okay, cool, you know it's the end of the year, I'm good. You know what I'm saying. I think my hardest thing about like the whole holiday thing is that I want to make traditions but I just don't know how. Yeah, you know it could be the people that I'm trying to make it with, it could be me, but you don't really know that right, you don't really know who it is. You just keep you know, you just keep trying. And I think that's my biggest thing is this year I was like man, I get so excited for the holiday season and then I'd be like, all right, I'd be over it, real quick.
Speaker 1:Well, the thing is you also have the complex part where your father passed away. His birthday is around the holidays too, yeah, so you also have that extra element of you know there's certain people that you want here with you to do these traditions with. You want them to be a part of the traditions, and they aren't there. So it's almost kind of like how can you really do it the right way if I don't even know where to start? Because you want advice from that one person, and I try my best not to complain to you about family and stuff like that, because I understand how significant your father was to you.
Speaker 1:I'm very fortunate to have both my parents in my life still and my grandmother's still around, my uncles and aunts and all these incredible people that you know helped raise me. I'm very fortunate to have everybody my siblings when I go home they're all in the same place and with you. Your brother lives on the other side of the country. It's a whole thing, you know, I totally get it. And going back to the gift thing, just to throw this little nugget on top of it, I got in trouble because of that cookbook that I made from other people, seeing that Valentia posted the gumbo that y'all made, which was the gumbo good? She enjoyed it. Valentia, said she, because you don't like seafood, I didn't eat it. You didn't even try it, I didn't eat it.
Speaker 2:Come on, bates, I didn't eat it at all and I'm going to tell you what happened. Man, listen, I was all for it. You should have tried it, man, I was going to try it until I don't like Okay. So in your recipe it says save, yeah, the shells Because it gives it that more seafood-y thing. I threw the shells away. It was on accident, I didn't know Right. Oh, they was in a bowl. I'm like, okay, I'm going to throw them away. So I threw them away. And then she got fresh crab and put it in there. So she just used those, because she peeled all the crab. She put them in there. And once she put them in I said I tasted a little soup. I said, oh, that's way too seafood for me.
Speaker 1:So I so you really wouldn't have liked it with the shrimp in there too. Yeah, man, listen, I'm. It's the best way to make broth using the skin, and that sucks that you didn't. But someone saw that post and hit me up like where's my book? Why didn't I get a book? And I was just like this is another.
Speaker 1:It goes into that element of I don't enjoy Christmas because this is like I'm giving gifts to people, like in my family. Only this is a family gift that someone else got, because they are part of the family pretty much. You were there and you got one, of course, exactly. It was just so inferior. I was like I don't enjoy any of this social media stuff. It is so annoying because it's just the holidays. I shouldn't feel ashamed for not giving somebody a gift. No one should ever feel ashamed for not giving someone a gift.
Speaker 1:If I'm here, if I traveled from Atlanta to St Louis to see you for the holidays, that should be enough, period. That's how I feel it's like. That's why I'm coming here. I want to come and catch up. I want to see what your life is like. I want to see what's going on. I'm interested in talking, and when you come in and people don't even care about talking, they just want to get drunk and it's just.
Speaker 1:There's so many things that if I'm running Christmas, you come to my house for Christmas me, you, valencia and Adrian Christmas in Atlanta. You come to our house, there's going to be music playing on the record player, I'm going to have food, right, I'm going to make up the drinks right, and we're going to sit down at the table, have a conversation, play some games Uno, whatever. We was playing dominoes when you were over there. That's my speed, chill. He was playing dominoes when you were over there. That's my speed, chill, catching up. How's the baby? How's this? How's that man? This is great, always a good time. We're making a memory. That's what I want. I want to feel that.
Speaker 1:You were at my mama's house this year. That was like 50 people there. It did not feel like an event where you could sit down and have a real, genuine conversation, because it was just too much going on. There was too much going on. There was people running around, there was too many announcements, it was a little overwhelming.
Speaker 1:So the tradition aspect of creating my own space, I feel like I've already started that. When you say that, I feel like I've already started that because, like I just said, I told you exactly what we would do. That's because we've done that before. That's because on New Year's Eve, when I got back here to Georgia, we went over to Verdugo's and we had incredible meal. We sat around the table and we played games and we caught up and told each other about what we got for Christmas. And then I was home before 10 o'clock and went to sleep before midnight because I'm not about that New Year's Eve life anymore and it was a good time. You went up, dude. I think this is the second year in a row where I was like you know, I'm good to go to sleep. I don't need to. If I'm not working and making money, I'm kicking my feet up and I'm going to sleep.
Speaker 2:Hey, this ain't nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1:That's the way I feel like. A lot of people do that, though. If they're like throwing me a couple of dollars, I'm like, ooh, I'm in there, let's go Midnight, let's go till two.
Speaker 2:I know a lot of people do that, though I think my tradition I kind of just want to vibe I think it got stronger because I had a baby this year, right, and I think that even with it being her first Christmas, I'm not really tripping, but when you was off at college, you came home because of traditions. If nobody did nothing on Christmas, you probably would still come home because you went to college. But what about when you get out of college? Right, you don't move back. You have a seed and they don't. You're like, okay, they're 25. They live in wherever they live. They live in california, you, you in atlanta. You have no traditions for the holidays. Yeah, you don't got nothing going on. You think your daughter at 24, 23 or whatever, you think she gonna come back? No, or your son, no, why? Because they probably found somebody else, family that's doing something. They got a friend and all my friends gonna do this. I'm 20, you know they probably come back for the first year, but not so much after, after they start getting older. And my thing is is the reason why I was talking about traditions and you know, this holiday season it kind of made me realize like I want to start making some type of traditions, because when they start getting older, when you see these kids start getting older, you want them to come back. Yeah, and that translates throughout their whole life. Think about it right. Jade started getting older, me and you got this tradition where we, even if you're in Atlanta, we FaceTime each other. We do something right. When you're at home, we do something. We just started this tradition and my daughter sees that it grows a bond with other people, kids. That's how, why you like, think about it, why you think I'm I come over and see mama, why do you think me and my mom, your mom relationship? Because it's this tradition and this bond that you create with those traditions so like. That's why I was. It's very important for me to have some type of tradition, because I want to see my nephews and nieces come back. I know Uncle Chris. He every year he make his sweet potatoes and they be fine. I'm coming back for that. And then we do X, y, z. We go see the lights, we go do this, we go do that. I'm coming back. Boom, boom, boom plates. We go do this, we go do that, I'm coming back, boom, boom, boom. And you kind of start this and then it gets better because you know they eventually they bring their friends and next thing you know you're like dang. All right, hey, what's up? Come on grab a plate. You know I'm saying so.
Speaker 2:It was rough with me trying to figure that out and it still is. It still is like every year. I try to figure out, okay, what can we do or whatever. This year it was pretty good. We did the sunday before new year's we took all like christmas pictures. Yeah, it's getting there. It's just, it's just a hard walk.
Speaker 1:I'm like man, this is what I feel like you're so excited for your kid though yeah that you're talking like, oh, I'm not sure what, but I'm sure you're already starting some incredible stuff that you're gonna look back and be like, oh man, man, I started the first one. I did that on the first night and we still do it. That's you know. So I'm not too worried about it. It's too early for you to be worried about if the traditions are working yet.
Speaker 2:You ain't had enough time to start the traditions, yet I know, man, but you know like I just be thinking about it. The holidays it's very dark. I'm just letting you know it's very dark. I'm just letting you know it's very dark. The holidays make me think about death the most. Yeah, and the reason why is is because I know every year I look forward to this every year. The people who are, who started to traditions and did everything, are getting older and older. So am I so like? I just play back my I'm like I feel like we were just kids and we were really enjoying the holidays. And you know, as each year goes on, not everybody make it. So that'd be what really gets me during the holidays.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I wanted to go ahead and jump in here and say a couple of words. First and foremost, thank you so much for checking out the new season of the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. I wanted to take more of a Cole Porter approach and, instead of giving information at the beginning, I just wanted to sneak this in a little later in the pod for people who actually are giving us a full lesson, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. I appreciate you taking the time to even listen to us ramble on about things that's going on in our heads and the people in our lives, and I hope to do more this year with the pod, bringing on some more people who are around the Atlanta area that I am very fascinated with and excited to talk to, and I've already really enjoyed the first couple of days of this year. So it's been really positive, exciting, and I'm hoping that the show continues to spread that kind of energy outward.
Speaker 1:So don't be afraid to hit me up. Let me know if there's something that you want to hear or if you're like hey, I want to be on the pod. I'm I'm game to talk to anybody, I just want to make sure that we're talking honestly and having conversation that people can relate to. So thank you once again. I appreciate you If you made it this far in the pod and you're still listening and and enjoying what we're doing here. I can't, I can't thank you enough, so I'll just keep saying it over and over Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I got a couple more things in this episode, so let's get back to it.
Speaker 2:All right. So I like to do a mental check-in. Dominique, a scale of one to I ain't going to give you 10, I'm going to give you five. One to five, yeah, because I want you to pick how you feeling, bro. One being I can't get out of bed. It's hurting. Five being I just ran a 5K marathon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm at like a 4.6. And the only reason why it's not a five is because adrian just went to new york. I just dropped her off at the airport, so I don't. Yeah, so I got the house alone and you know I'm saying I'm gonna try to try to go to sleep and not worry about, you know, being too dark in the house.
Speaker 1:You know saying little stuff like that, like I'm not looking for it. I mean, I'm not scared of the dark. But you know, when it's just you with the house and the dog, the dog ain't going to do nothing. He just, if somebody come in the house and the dog is out and about, he's going to go up to him, sniff him and start licking their face Like he's the worst guard dog in the world. He's not a guard. If Adrian was here he'll guard her, but for me he'd just sit there and look at me like what're supposed to be taking care of this? So that's the only concern. Yeah, I'm man, I'm good, we're gonna be all right. I got my baseball bat upstairs, I'm ready to go. But also it get dark at night over here in the woods and you know that's how I'd be. But um, 4.6 man, where you at all right.
Speaker 2:So I got like two right. So I'm at like 2.5 and I'm going to take it's a reason. Okay, I'm really like 4.5. Right, the 2.5 is I enjoyed my paternity leave, man, but I'm not really mentally, I don't want to go back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like mentally, like I love the fact that I can get up with my daughter, I just can take my time with her, I can we wake up, we have a bad night, we ain't tripping, we're going to get up, we're going to start the day, boom, boom. I can fix her breakfast, I can clean her up, I can give her a bath, like I'm so, like I'm not restricted. In that morning I can sit there and do her hair, like I really enjoy that, right, I really enjoy just. I can lay on the couch with her and just be watching Martin, like just bonding. I really enjoyed that for the last two months, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's coming closer to that time being over and going back to reality, going back to a job that you know is just a job and you just working there because you got a life to live. So it is what it is. Besides that, I would say I'm at a 4.5. I think that you know I enjoyed this year. I enjoyed being a father, watching her grow, watching me and valencia navigate, being a parent and start communicating even better, without even saying anything to each other, just vibing off each other. You know what I mean, and so I just enjoyed it. So I say that's why I made a 4.5. I feel like this was like a really good year for my family and me and Valencia in a relationship.
Speaker 1:So this season. I wanted to include one more segment before the final word, and this segment is titled you Know what I Love. Last year, like I said, it was a crazy negative year. We started to pot off, crazy negative. I feel so bad, but it's how you come out of a fight and you're like man, I was swinging.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, I want to continue to find ways to bring positivity to the work that I do. So how this works is simple. I'm going to tell you about something right now in the world that is bringing me joy and I love to see it and I'm happy about this thing in the world, and then you'll do the same. Doesn't have to be a long definition, just something. It'd be something as simple. As you know what I love. I love my daughter. It could be something simple. So for me, you know what I love. Right now, I'm really enjoying that Kendrick Lamar GNX album. It is giving me so much life and every time I get to a place where I'm like, oh, what am I going to listen to, it's very easy for me just to pop on the Heart, part 6, or hey Now, say Now. Or Dodger Blue. That album is so good and I'm looking forward to him performing on the super bowl. For sure that's gonna be a good time. How about you?
Speaker 2:you know what I love black women. This year, hell yeah, throughout the whole year, black women have been standing on business. I mean, throughout this whole whole 2024, Black women was I'm talking about on business. Like ain't no, you ain't half stepping nothing. I love that. You know what I'm saying, Like especially because I'm a dad and I'm raising a Black woman. So I love that.
Speaker 1:Made today in the show always appreciate you coming out and, yeah, this is the the first episode of the season, so we we're kicking it off again like we did last year. Last year, your episode was really liked and everybody enjoyed the new year episodes, so thank you so much for once again doing that. We're going to get you back on a couple more times this year. We always end this the same way spoken about what we want to speak about, gotten through everything. All I want to know now is how do you feel? I feel love.
Speaker 1:That's good stuff. That's good stuff. Yeah, I feel love too. I know that you're kind of upset you say you were 2.5 but the feel loved after all of that, that that's still good. That's good stuff, man. I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. The opening quote. Credit goes to Carl Bart, and shout out to my guy, chris, for opening the season up with me this year. Follow Chris at C-H-R-I-S-E-L-B underscore 88 on Instagram. Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast. Give us a good rating Five stars, please, and thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. If you like this episode, you should check out our previous episode, another check-in with chris bates that speaks through some of our traditional mental check-ins and it's just a great episode to listen to. So we also talk about babies on that episode, which is pretty great, so check it out. Follow me at dom underscore l-a-m-o-u-r. On instagram or in domlamorecom. I'm dom lamore. Much love.
