"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
CP Time with Nic Tayborn
Dom L'Amour speaks with good friend Nic Tayborn ( @nictbone ) about Apple vs. Andriod, Mistakes, judgement and so much more.
Can a single debate spark a deeper understanding of our daily tech choices? Tune in as we dissect the age-old rivalry between Apple and Android. My guest, Nic Tayborn, brings a perspective, challenging my views and igniting a lively discussion that extends beyond tech into the personal realm. Nic shares the unique experience of enrolling a Covid-era child in preschool, opening up about the joys and concerns of parenting during these unprecedented times.
How do our mistakes shape us into who we are today? Nic and I reveal some of our most cringe-worthy moments, using humor to navigate the intricacies of judgment and personal growth. From past relationships to parenting missteps, we explore the concept of self-sabotage and the relentless journey of learning and improvement. Our candid stories highlight the lasting impact of humor in friendship and the importance of acknowledging and growing from our past errors.
Political divides often test our ability to maintain human connections and basic decency. We tackle sensitive topics like the repercussions of Roe v Wade's overturn and the controversial actions of former President Trump. Through anecdotes about online exchanges and face-to-face encounters, we discuss the challenge of balancing personal beliefs with kindness and understanding. Listen in as we navigate the treacherous waters of political division, striving to find common ground and uphold genuine human connections.
Opening quote: Ian Mackaye
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @dom_lamour on Instagram. Or at
The thing about Roe v Wade is people think that it's just about like these are women just trying to kill babies. That's not what it is. It's a protection thing and illnesses and so many different types of terrible traumatic things that can happen to them to where sometimes terminating a pregnancy or anything of the sort might be the only way to protect the host, and then like, what are these people gonna do should that person die? Like that's, that's my, that's my thing, feel like as a person who's experienced that exactly, I can't like I'm not saying I'm for abortions. That's not what it is. It's that women need the protection because you don't know what health issues or risks they run into when their bodies become pregnant and their body rejects the pregnancy.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here, my name is Dom L'Amour and you are listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. On today's episode, I speak with friend of the show, nick Taborn, about Apple versus Android, mistakes, judgment and so much more. There are many things that people do happily, that I can't imagine why they would do it, but I have to say that, even though I am critical or judgmental of society at large, I'm not critical of people individually. We are who we are.
Speaker 1:Apple user.
Speaker 2:I'm a very typical man who understands what works. I'm interviewing you right now for my iMac. I literally gave you your answers from my iPhone. I sent you the original message from my iPad. Everything was fine, and the only thing that sucked was because I had the message Also, imac does not proceed.
Speaker 1:Mac is just Mac computer, it's not iMac. If you were a real Apple user, you would know that.
Speaker 2:No, I don't have a laptop, I have a iMac. Look it up. I have a huge display that I'm looking at right now and it has iMac on it, because that's what it is. So you, mister, I don't even have any of this cool stuff, except for an iPad. Cheers to you for that. Get your shit together.
Speaker 1:That shit's great. I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:I was really excited. I was like you know what he wants to talk about something serious.
Speaker 1:You were so excited for this, but then this Apple versus Android debate just made you like nah.
Speaker 2:We were going to talk about you. You know, something that was really touching. I was really looking forward to to really diving in, but my scotch is watered down. That's what's happening. I'm sitting, I sat here and watched my rock melt because of you. So now, folks, this is the down the war black entertainment here and watched my rock melt Because of you. So now, folks, this is the Dom L'Amour Black Entertainment podcast. This is it. I'm not even gonna, when I post this, I'm not even going to edit this part. I'm gonna make this stay exactly the way it is, so that people can hear what it sounds like when Dominique has to deal with someone who made them wait 35 minutes. I'm furious, and on top of that, it's Dominique being angry about an Android user. Get an iPhone, get an Apple. Is that an Apple Watch? Is that an Apple Watch?
Speaker 1:No, this is not an Apple Watch.
Speaker 2:Get an Apple Watch. Get your life together. Make better choices. What are we?
Speaker 1:doing here? I'm going to go out here on a limb and say you're a typical Apple user who's like, ah, that's what you and or you was wrong with the world, Nah nigga.
Speaker 2:Did I bring the world into this? No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:I just said your life choices, your life choices are flawed no-transcript.
Speaker 2:I'm doing. How are you nick? What's new nick? People gonna think I'm an asshole. Now they're gonna be like why is it?
Speaker 1:I'm a good guy, I'm a good guy you are an, I'm going to be the one that exposes you to everybody. Psa Dom Lombard is an asshole.
Speaker 2:How dare you?
Speaker 1:But I am fine. You know I got a new job running a kickboxing gym, Enrolled the kid in preschool. That starts in a week and a half. Yeah, lots of trying not to stress out about too much in the current moment and get all up in my feelings about stuff. So obviously kids going to school. So he's because he's a covid baby. He's never been in daycare, he's never been in anything with other children. It'll be interesting to see how he takes to being in a structured environment with other children have you been giving him any like play dates or like taking him to the park?
Speaker 1:No, we take him to the park a lot because he hasn't been in daycares and things like that. We make it a point to take him out to, you know, just general public areas like parks and like cause it's summertime, we've been going to a lot of water parks and things like that. We'll get together with my family and he'll hang out with his cousins and because it's obviously people he's familiar with, because he doesn't really have a lot of like outside friends, because he has, again, has not been in any other situations to make those friends. So, but now you'll be in an area, um, and in a district, because, yeah, it's like an actual preschool, not like an actual daycare where they just play for like six hours a day to where he'll actually be able to make relationships and friends and stuff. So we'll uh, we'll see how that goes either.
Speaker 1:He'll be great yeah, I know, like my son's very polite, he has no problem talking with adults as well as other children. His problem is he just don't shut up. Yeah, no, I love, I love him, though he has a lot to say. But you know, sometimes I can be like whoa, calm down, let's see what they have to say, like they haven't. There's other sides, there's other ways of having a conversation yeah so it's.
Speaker 1:It's just trying to teach them the social aspect of it.
Speaker 2:That's all it is yeah, because this is this is so interesting to like really kind of think about the idea he's a covid baby and and no day care, so this is really a big move. Preschool Are you going to do the right thing and teach him Apple is better than.
Speaker 1:Windows and actually give him an iPhone and actually give him an iPad.
Speaker 2:Does he have an iPad already? Does he understand the lifestyle difference that you are living compared to most people in the world?
Speaker 1:You know what? I am going to inflate your ego in this exact moment and say that the iPad that I am on right now is actually the one that he uses to watch all of his videos. The iPad is actually not mine, it's his. Actually, it's Rosa's, but she gives it to him to obviously keep him busy. So there's that. But just to spite you, I'm getting his first phone. It will be an.
Speaker 2:Android and you know what you're going to do. You know what you're going to do. He's going to get bullied because he's going to be the kid that's messing up the chat. Everybody's going to be throwing emojis and this dude's going to be like well, I guess we need to get WhatsApp, because this dude isn't civilized enough to have the good phone and they would blame it on you. They'll be like who taught you these ways?
Speaker 1:You know, old people use iPhones because they're for the technologically impaired right.
Speaker 2:You know, old people use iPhones because they have wisdom beyond your years. That's why.
Speaker 1:If that's how you want to say it, I ain't spending nothing. I'm keeping it 100.
Speaker 2:I'm keeping it 100.
Speaker 1:I'm keeping it 3,000. Yes, don, yes, it's okay, I'm going to let you go ahead and have this for yourself. You know, this is your pod, this is your time, so you know what I'm going to do you the favor of letting you have this, okay on my pod.
Speaker 2:you're gonna? You're gonna do it for me?
Speaker 1:huh that's what we're gonna do here.
Speaker 2:That's how we're living right now in this world. Oh my god, people tune into this podcast for great conversation about topics that they can relate to, and I guess they can relate to this.
Speaker 1:They can, they can see the apple versus android debate is a very heavily debated topic in 2024. It's the worst.
Speaker 2:It's the worst because it's not a competition. This is like Michael Jordan playing against Steve Kerr. Wow, that's what this is.
Speaker 1:So Jordan is Apple and Steve Kerr is Android. You know what it is.
Speaker 2:You didn't even have to ask me what it was, because you knew what I was talking about.
Speaker 1:No, because it's you and I just know your basketball comparisons, thank you. So I don't even have to know what you meant by that. I already knew.
Speaker 2:I forgot to light my incense and everything. I'm like. I'm flabbergasted over it. I was going to have vibes. I got my feet up. Now, I don't never have my feet up during an interview, Feet up. I ain't even budding my shirt.
Speaker 1:The good vibe sign is covered by the microphone. I got my red wine. I'm good.
Speaker 2:What kind of red wine are you drinking, my vibes?
Speaker 1:are fine. I am drinking a Cabernet, a Paso Robles. Those are the ones I usually tend to go to Because they're not as acidic as other cabs.
Speaker 2:I think you're cool. I'm drinking wine. They're not as acidic as other calves. I think you're cool, I'm drinking wine. I'm this guy, I drink wine and I have my Android phone like a maniac. You're a maniac, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. All right, let me apologize now. I'm sorry, I'm just stressed.
Speaker 2:This week has been stressful. Today was a long day. I did a lot of work outside, I built a woodshed and today was my day of I had to dig a hole for peach tree because we got a peach tree for our wedding gift from Adrienne's graduate friends from she went to. She got her master's in Leeds, england, so all of the people that were a part of that master's program weren't able to come to the wedding. So they sent us this cocktail tree that has branches that one branch is for plums, one is for peaches, one is for nectarines and I'm planting that in the ground and I'm also stacking wood and cutting wood and I was using an ax and chopping wood today like a crazy person. So, as you can see, I'm tired and I'm a little grumpy. It's okay, I appreciate your time. I appreciate the things. We're going to start real conversation now. This is honest. I'm happy to see you. Conversation. That's what this is. It took 10 minutes for a reason.
Speaker 1:I'm happy to see you too, after a long day of being a black hallbun.
Speaker 2:What, what? This is how you feel. You're still throwing Really, really, madness I'm doing nothing different than you, so don't be.
Speaker 2:Anyway. You know, I I was, like I said, at the top of this podcast today. I was very frustrated but, you know, happy to talk to nick, frustrated in the sense that I've been waiting and trying to get him set up and it just kept on messing up and I was like why isn't this working and all that jazz. But something I feel like I have to listening through this pod a couple of times, I have to reflect on. I ride or die for Apple so hard and if people hear this and they really be like Dominique, you just you're so judgmental about your Apple. That was really a joke. I love my Apple. I do have all Apple products, but the reason why I have all Apple products is mostly because they work better together. I don't like having one thing that's different than the others. Apple's not paying me and they do a lot of weird stuff around the world that affects a lot of people negatively. So I'm not somebody who was blindly caught up in the web of Apple. I don't care that he has an Android, I'm happy that he is doing his thing or whatever. I just I don't know why. I wanted to reflect on that. I feel like the whole idea of this episode was mistakes and judgment, and since I was so flustered, we had that argument that just kept being like a comeback to, and that's something that me and Nick have always done. We like to bust each other's balls but honestly, I am working on myself for judging people and I feel like that was a bad reflection of that, in the sense of people like, oh, he's just being judgmental, but it's like it was a joke. I'm joking. I love talking to Nick. That gives me a lot of joy. So send a love to all of the people out there with the green boxes in the message You're not hated. You're not hated at all. We appreciate you. I want to talk about mistakes. I want to talk about shame. I don't know why. That's what I wanted to bring up with you, but it's something I was like. Know what? Me and Nick couldn't talk about this. So when I bring that up, I wanted to kind of talk through things that you might think about on the regular like a mistake that you're like man, I shouldn't have done this in.
Speaker 2:The years have gone by where I was able to think through and truly understand, where I would do different things. Now I know a lot of people try to say they wouldn't change anything. I don't believe I would change anything if I were given a chance to. But being able to look at things that I did in the past and be like if I would have done this, maybe it would have been something that would have benefited me better, is always something that I feel like it's inevitable.
Speaker 2:I have to kind of consider. I have to revisit moments in my life that I had to grow from, you know, and so I'm curious with you because you're in a place now you're still chasing the dream like me, performing, looking to do things creative, have a family now trying to get yourself to. You know that, that place where you could sit down and look at the back your life and be like, damn, I did the things that I wanted to do. You're in that mist, just like me. We're all trying to get it and we've grown another year. I just turned 35.
Speaker 2:So the idea from South side of St Louis and I can look in the mirror and say I made it out and I'm alive and I'm healthy and I ain't got diabetes, I ain't hurt, I ain't doing nothing crazy, I'm health, I'm doing it the way that my grandfather would have been like. This is how I want you to do it. That's encouraging. The reason why this conversation for me sounds important and why I'm interested in talking to you about it is just because how often do you get to truly just reflect on your growth? So that's the question I pose to you. Is there anything that you can think of? And if you need me to give an example, I can give an example. First, on mistakes that you made in your past being you know the way you approached life, the way you approached relationships, the way that you approach jobs or the way that you treated people, anything that really pokes out that you immediately like. That popped in my head the second. You said it.
Speaker 1:You know, the generic response is obviously the mistakes that you make make you the person that you are today, and I truly believe that that is true. Me being 33 years old now, I've obviously made a lot of mistakes in my life, but it's the mistakes that I've made and the mistakes that I've seen other people in my life have made that I have looked up to parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends that have made me the person that I am today, and I know the mistake. I've seen the mistakes that they've made and I know the mistakes that I personally have made and obviously we're all adults. We still make them to this day. You never know what where a mistake is going to take you. It's going to make you grow. They're just going to make you grow more as a person. I've made mistakes as a parent.
Speaker 1:The last time we talked, you asked me if you were, if I were, to grade myself on where I am as a parent. Where would I grade myself? And I gave you the answer of a B, because there's always room for improvement. Grade myself, and I gave you the answer of a B, because there's always room for improvement. Two years later, we're having this conversation again and I still would grade myself as a B, and this is to say that two years later, I am still growing. He is still growing. Back then when we talked, he was two. Now he is four. So now he's bigger, he's smarter, he's learning a lot more and as he's doing that, I am doing the exact same things. So there are mistakes I'm still making along the way and, like I said, he's about to start school soon. I'm about to be hit with a bunch of other things that I don't even know was going to come from it, when it comes to sending a kid to school for the first time who, again, has never been in any other social environment with other children for an extended period of time on a regular basis, on a structural level. So that's kind of where that falls into play.
Speaker 1:But as far as where my mistakes lie, yes, I've made mistakes in my family. I've made mistakes in my relationships. If I were to give one particular example of where they stick out, I would say it was probably a relationship that I had previously to my current one, that I had about 14 years ago. I made a mistake that wasn't cheating. I want to go out on a limb and say that right now. It wasn't that. But I made a mistake of doubting myself and where I was at in the relationship and where he was at in the relationship and I think that that kind of led to a sort of self-sabotage. And now you know all respect to her, she's obviously living her life and I'm very much living mine right now.
Speaker 1:But again, I think mistakes are. They put you where you need to be in the world is kind of how I believe it to be. Mistakes are meant to happen for a reason. It might not be what you want to do in the moment, but if it's meant to happen the way it needs to happen for you to get to where you need to be or for you to better yourself, then that's how you got to be. You just have to accept the mistake as it is rather than lean into it as oh, I just did this and throw a pity party for yourself. So I choose to lean into the mistake. At least that's what I tried to do. I haven't always done that to the best of my ability. But again, it's all a learning curve.
Speaker 2:I feel like when I posed the question, like I said, the example that jumped straight in my head because I talk about a lot of stuff on the podcast, so I'm sure a lot of people know about me saying communication is key. So, when it comes to relationships, communication was always something that I wish I did better.
Speaker 1:When it comes to life in general, communication I wish was better as people and I will piggyback off of that to where you're um, even, uh, you know, with my current partner, who I've been with for almost 10 years. Even after all these years later, we still, to this day, communicate extremely differently. Our love languages are different and our communication styles are different, and with that comes a lot of friction.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, I will say that, as it does come a lot of friction, because it's. It's not that obviously we don't care about each other or have the best interest out for each other, but the way our but our communication styles are very, very different. It is a struggle when you love someone so much and you really want it to work and your communication styles just clash so much. But you know that there's always a way around it, so you try your best to do what you need to do to help it mesh. That's what we do and we've made it work and we continue to make it work.
Speaker 1:Communication is and I will admit, I'm not even the best at it myself, but I always try the best to be better than what I was the day before. I'm a huge reporter and as long as you wake up the next morning with a mentality of just be the better person than you were yesterday, I truly try to do that. And that includes just the way that you talk to a person, whether it is your spouse, whether it is your child, whether it is a family member or a friend, a complete stranger you might meet on the street. If you were addicted to somebody a week ago try not to be addicted to somebody this week.
Speaker 2:That's kind of how I feel. Yeah, so well, I wasn't gonna use communication as my example. I was just saying that I've spoken about it so much that people would think that would be annoying. There's two things that happened. When you did that, I, uh, I was like, well, I wasn't gonna say that, but cool, I'm happy that he said that, because that's really an important thing to hear. But then also, when you was like you know, when you love someone, I was gonna start singing Darnell Jones. You just don't. You really got me on the edge over here. Man, I'm trying my best. The example the mistake I was gonna bring up was, you know, when I was in school.
Speaker 2:It's bizarre the person I am now, because I want to get stuff done and I'm always at 110 when I put something into it. So if I'm doing a show, it's 110. And I'm working outside on the woodshed, it's 110. I'm cooking dinner, I'm doing. Whatever I'm doing, I'm always, always trying to do everything efficiently. I'm cleaning up. I want to be like when the food is done, I want the last dish to be clean already. Like that's how I am now, but I wasn't like that all the time and when I lived at home, when I was back home in St Louis, when I was going to school in high school and middle school and college, I feel like I always half-assed school. I was like they're making me go here. I don't really want to be here. So when I didn't want to do something, when I was learning something that I'm like I don't want to learn this, you know, like in college I didn't want to go to English composition, I didn't want to go to college algebra, I wanted to go to musical theater, history and I wanted to go to performance. I wanted to do the stuff I wanted to do. My mistake was always just settling. I settled for so much stuff. I can look at that now and when I'm working through anything I'm going through, I can see that one of my crippling, infuriating things is that so much of my life I felt like I was half-assed and stuff that now I'm trying to catch up on. Not half-assing life. I want to do as much as I can. I try my best to love my wife as great as I flipping can because she does so much for me. I want to make sure that I don't half-ass this. I've seen myself half-ass stuff and I did not like any of the stuff I half-assed. There was some stuff I enjoyed half-assing but it wasn't like the best representation of me, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2:I feel like I've gotten to this place now where, if I were to go to school now, if you were to be like, okay, dominique, master's program, theater education or theater speech education, or even just going back for musical performance, I'm going to sing more. I feel like I'll be pushing to get straight A's. I'll be pushing to try to build those networks. I'll be pushing a little bit more just because of the mistakes that I made in the past. I feel like something I keep seeing pop up, especially with this social media reel stuff, is the idea that holding on to past memories is just kind of like garbage in your brain. It's unnecessary to look back because you want to go forward. And I struggle when I see those kind of reels and messages where people are trying to put on this inspirational front and I'm just like.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's unhealthy just to act like the past never happened, you know it is, but also like, if you, you know, facebook has this memories tab that you obviously can go to and see what you posted on whatever day, however many years ago, for however long you've had facebook, and I look back on some of the you know stuff that I've posted from because you've had Facebook, and I look back on some of the you know stuff that I've posted from, cause I've had Facebook apparently for about 16 years, and so I go back to the things that I posted from and that was I was about a junior in high school whenever I started my Facebook and so I had that, and then up to college and all this stuff, and I look at some of the stuff that I posted.
Speaker 1:Then I'm like this is terrible. Who gave me access to the internet then? I am the worst kind of person and it wasn't even I was posting bad stuff, it was just shit that like I was posting movie quotes and then all that type of stuff. Like it was like I said, it wasn't anything bad, but it's like it's, especially when I was in a relationship.
Speaker 1:at that time I would like post these cryptic messages and I'm like, wow, now I'm the person that judges other people for doing that yeah it's just kind of weird to kind of see how it all comes full circle when it comes to social media, because even me personally I'm not a huge social media dude. Like I will post a funny meme that I see, or whatever, but I don't like posting a lot of my life on social media. If something, if a big milestone happens, yeah I'll do that, but I don't like airing out everything that goes on in my life on social media. I know that other people in my life and in my family are different in that aspect, but I personally just don't like to do it, especially even when it comes to my own kid, like I don't like posting a lot of him. That's just kind of how I feel about it.
Speaker 1:I don't know, like when things are on the internet, it's out there for everybody. Like I'm one of these paranoid dudes that like let's not put all of this information out there because I don't know who's doing what with it. But as far as going back, you know and this even goes back to your further thing as far as mistakes go, posts that we made back in high school are mistakes. I think we can all agree with that.
Speaker 2:Everything about it was a horrible mistake.
Speaker 1:Every post we ever made in high school.
Speaker 2:Every.
Speaker 1:DM, even the earliest set of college, probably even just all of college altogether. All of it was mistakes, those DMs where you would send a group of girls.
Speaker 2:I used to do this. Someone would send DMs where you would send like a group of girls. I used to do this. Someone would send me one and it'd be like check this if you like this, or tell me if you would want to do this with me or this and that, and it's like a list of them, just like this big list of these people. And I remember I was messaging someone for a birthday and they messaged me back and said hey, let's switch over to DM. And I looked in my last message to them and it was one of those weird things that I sent in high school and I'm just like she must've thought I was a creep. She must've thought I was a creep in high school because of this thing, but it was the thing we were all doing. It just mistakes Facebook, facebook, myspace, black Planet.
Speaker 1:Oh, you brought up Black Planet. They ain't ready, they will never be ready for that I'm happy that I can.
Speaker 2:I don't know my, because if I knew my password and I could actually log in and look at my history on black's planet, I just I'm so thrilled that I can't do that. That's something I don't ever need to revisit oh my god, rip black planet.
Speaker 1:That was who. That was a time like. I feel like black twitter tried to be black planet and it was good like black twitter is good, don't get me wrong but I feel like it was trying a lot to be black planet, yeah I mean, that was, that was our domain, that's where we could go.
Speaker 2:I got catfished on black fan it was. It was the first experience, you know. That's that's what it's all about. This girl was talking to me for months. I thought we were in love. I thought I had found someone incredible. You thought you were, I did and she never sent me a picture of her and I always was like just send me a picture.
Speaker 1:But I bet they were always asking you to send you a picture of you to them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I sent her a couple of pictures. And they sent me one picture that wasn't them right, of course and I'm like, oh, that's heartbreaking, because when I met her, I was like you are not what I saw on black planet. And it was heartbreaking because it was like I'm not the type of, I can't lie, I'm an actor. If I get on stage and you give me a script, I can. I can act the hell out of that script, but in real life, man, in real life, my face talks for me. So I looked at this girl and she was like what? And I was like you know what?
Speaker 1:But you know what Rosa tells me. She's like you think that you're good at hiding how you feel because she's like I can read your facial expressions, like you used to be good at it. But I think, because all the trauma and other shit that I've been through, I'm not very good at hiding how I feel, because I'm just like I just kind of have a fucking aura around me, kind of at all times If somebody annoys me, like you're gonna see it, I'm gonna try to hide it, but you're gonna see it yeah I just it's to the point to where I'm like I might as well just say it, because my face is gonna say it anyway and see the worst part about that.
Speaker 2:Going back to the mistakes thing, another one I would always say is how judgmental I was to certain people and certain things, and I really don't enjoy that, because that's something I feel like that is ingrained in all of us. Really, we're in a society that's very judgmental. Everything about politics is so judgmental and it's hard not to judge people when things are so clear. But it's just also like Dominique, like take time, step back. Look, you know, I do the walk every morning. I wake up every morning and I walk a mile. These past couple times I've been getting out a little later than I used to. I used to get up and be out there around seven o'clock, but now I'm getting out there about 7.15, 7.20, and since I'm that extra 20 minutes, I'm starting to have people out there with me that normally weren't out there it was usually just me and I get a clean walk in.
Speaker 2:And this one guy walks around every day and he has a Trump 24 shirt on. Every day he wears this same damn shirt. So, first and foremost, I'm like try not to be mean. He's always so polite. He's always like oh, great to see you, I hope you're doing well, and I'm just like, yeah, man, and like in my head I can think of four things right now. Like the dude wears the same damn shirt every damn day. The dude is literally a Trump supporter. I just go on and on. I could be so negative, but he's a nice guy, so with me to sit down and judge him. Just based off of the shirt and the fact that he wears the same one every day, it's like I don't know what's going on. That might be his morning shirt that he put on for the walk and cleaning every day. I don't know what this dude's doing.
Speaker 1:Look, political shirts. People go out of their way to get those. So let's not like, look, I get getting. Giving him the benefit of the doubt. But also because I did the same thing. My buddy's bachelor party was last week and I went to his house so it's a ride to where we were going and his neighbor who was two houses down had a big trump 2024 flag and I said verbatim it must be fun to live by him. And he said actually he's a pretty nice guy.
Speaker 1:We just don't talk politics. So I mean that just really goes to show you can make a bond with literally anybody over anything. Politics is just a huge thing that divides people and it's made to divide people. This is why I'm a huge cynic when it comes to politics. I don't give a shit what party you're affiliated with. All of them are in my mind. They're corrupt in their own way. They have their own agendas in their own way. None of them are looking out for what they said. Looking out for that's just me. I think they're all bad out for what they said.
Speaker 2:Looking out for that's just me. I think they're all bad so I can see. No, I get that. But when I talk about judgment, you know it's hard for me to judge a person just because they're a republican or something like it. But when they support certain people, that's when my head goes crazy, because I get it. I'm all about vibes. I'm all the way about how people act and treat other people and and it's not judging someone when you see that they're treating other people horrible, that's just a fact. I'm seeing it. And for you to make excuses or create illusions for these people, that's the part where it's like. That's where the judgment part comes in and it's hard. But I feel like more and more, you know, the older I get, I feel like I'm getting better with it, but even then, I'm still struggling.
Speaker 2:I had a lady send me a message the other day. I posted a video of a wonderful person who's horrible. I know you don't know exactly who I'm talking about, but they sent. I posted a video of this person talking about Roe v Wade. This lady messaged me that is a friend. Well, she's a friend's mother, but she supported me throughout college Whenever I put an album out. She always supports the album. She's always a huge supporter of mine.
Speaker 2:And they defended this comment that I posted and I was just so flabbergasted I was like I didn't even say anything. I literally posted what they said and you're defending them almost as if you were offended by what of me posting that. They said it and so I could have just ignored them and judged them in private, with me trying to work on judging people. I immediately was like let me message this person back in depth, full, actually give them my perspective, let them know my level of understanding of the situation. I'm not just some random who's just thought, hey, maybe one day I'm going to post something and see what happens. No, I do my research. I know a lot of stuff about all of the candidates. That's what I do so that I know what I'm voting for. I don't fall for the banana in the tailpipe. I'm not sending money to nobody. I'm strictly looking at their records, looking at the way that they treat people, talk, how they act. Are they robots or real people? That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Speaker 2:I let her have it. I really I couldn't. I couldn't hold back, but I wasn't being judgmental. In my opinion. I was just being honest. I was like, listen, if you feel like you have to defend this person who is clearly doing horrible things and treating people horribly, and you're a Christian and you preach this stuff and you're trying to preach to me Bible verses and you're trying to tell me how I should use my morals when I'm a grew up Christian, like it, just that's the part where I can't let it slide.
Speaker 2:I feel like the judgment that I used to do when I was younger really helped me get to a place now where I could do that. I wouldn't have been able to do that years ago. I wouldn't have been able to sit down and actually write a well orchestrated understanding of why I support the thing I support and why this was wrong. And the only part that I felt was judgmental was at the end. I was like yo, if you feel like you're supporting this, I can't trust your judgment. That's the only thing that I said. And they thanked me for messaging them back. They gaslit me and that was the end of the conversation, because as soon as I saw that they were trying to gaslight me, I was like, okay, that's all I needed to to know. I tried to talk to them and and they clearly wanted to play the victim.
Speaker 1:So well it's interesting that you brought up even roe v wade, because I do get that like being with somebody who is every pregnancy she has is going to be high risk yeah like roe v wade, kind of protects her in that aspect yeah going back to we've absorbed, to where we lost our daughter, like if it wasn't for that, because technically, even though she was born naturally, what we had was, by medical terms, an abortion. But if we hadn't done that, she would have died too.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The thing about Roe v Wade is people think that it's just about like these are trying to kill babies. That's not what it is. It's a protection thing, like it's a health thing, because women's bodies go through so much when they get pregnant and their bodies are susceptible to so many different diseases and illnesses and so many different types of terrible traumatic things that can happen to them, to where sometimes terminating a pregnancy or anything of the sort might be the only way to protect the host. And then like what are these people gonna do should that person die? Like that's, that's my, that's my thing? Be like as a person who experienced that Exactly, I can't like I'm not saying I'm for abortions. That's not what it is. It's that women need the protection because you don't know what health issues or risks they run into when their bodies become pregnant and their body rejects the pregnancy.
Speaker 2:That was pretty much my my argument. Pregnancy that was pretty much my argument. When I spoke to her, she brought up this idea that, all right, I'm just going to say it was a Trump post. Trump was talking about how he got rid of Roe v Wade and he was responsible for it, and he was proud that he was responsible for it. That's what he said in the comment. I didn't chop it up, I didn't make it sound like he said anything different. It was just this clear statement I'm the reason why it happened and we're proud, and a lot of really smart people wanted it to happen. That's what he said. And so I just posted that.
Speaker 2:And she was like well, just so you know, he doesn't want to get rid of all abortion. He never said that he want to get all. As a matter of fact, there's more abortions now than there were before Roe v Wade. That's what she said. This is her defending Trump this way and kept going about how you can't just trust the internet and the people, that you have to know that Trump is actually doing things for these people. And he messaged back saying okay, I don't agree with you at all, because it isn't about. Well, first and foremost, he clearly is talking about how he's happy that he got rid of Roe v Wade. So I didn't say that he was getting rid of abortions. I didn't say anything.
Speaker 2:I clearly just posted that he said getting rid of this, but saying that he didn't want to get in the way of abortions, and saying that he said in interviews that he's okay with exceptions. That's great. If he said this stuff in one of his rants, great. I never listened to all of his rants because you get to the point where he's just talking about nothing. But my point is he used this through legislation to send it to the states. Now the states are abolishing it in certain states. Certain states aren't allowing women to even do it anymore. And what is the party that he represents doing to help those exceptions in those states? They're not doing anything. They're making it harder for them and they're going to continue to make it harder for them and they're not going to do anything and they're going to continue to make it harder for them and they're not going to do anything. They don't have any type of plan to help bridge the gap for those scenarios where those exceptions need to be taken care of, where you took time out of your day to make an argument with me about something that was not mentioned whatsoever in any of the video I posted or anything I said, and you're trying to create this thing that I feel like you heard somewhere else. It's obvious you're not speaking your own words. It's something you heard on TV, so I know what's going on.
Speaker 2:I see the legislation. I see that the people aren't being taken care of. I see that people are literally having to cross four or five states to go get abortions. I understand that it's difficult. I live in the South. I see all of this stuff that you're trying to push.
Speaker 2:But if you are willing to support someone who's been convicted of crimes is liable to have raped, somebody who literally has done everything that he can to divide this country when it comes to different people Talking about African countries being shit countries, this is the person you're supporting. He literally can't stop saying that Mexicans are rapists. He literally can't stop saying that he's done more for black people than Abraham fucking Lincoln and he's saying it in front of black journalism. He's taking his chance to do all of this stuff. If you, of all people, this Christian, support a guy who is a fake Christian, he doesn't even care about the religion, he can't quote the Bible, he doesn't read the Bible, he doesn't know anything about it. You know this. This he's not in a true committed marriage. He literally has a trophy wife who doesn't live with him anymore.
Speaker 1:We haven't seen this woman in years, like, where is she? Yes, he's.
Speaker 2:He's a god-fearing man, is he? No, he's not. If you are here to defend that and to create these arguments with people on the internet randomly who didn't even start an argument, I literally just posted what he said. If this is how you're approaching it and this is the things that you're supporting, I can't trust your judgment. That's the only part of me trying to work through my judgment of others that I'm struggling with. Still, I feel like I've made good progress where people can do something to me and I'll stop and be like okay, what could I have done better in this situation? Maybe I can't judge them off this. Maybe this bartender just got dumped today. I don't know what's going on in these people's lives. I'm not going to try to judge them. When it comes to this Trump guy, I can't see past it.
Speaker 1:But the funny thing that gets me is they'll just do it only on the Internet. They won't do it to anybody's face. That's what gets me. That's why I personally do not like social media, because people are very quick to defend whatever the hell they believe on their phones. People are very quick to defend whatever the hell they believe on their phones, but not when it comes to like oh hey.
Speaker 1:So you commented under my post a couple of weeks ago about this and I just kind of want to like have a face-to-face conversation with you as to why you think that like that, just that doesn't happen. It's weird to me Like it and it honestly kind of sucks because it it I feel like it deteriorates what it is to have basic human interaction. Well, going back to the dude who obviously wears the Trump shirt and believes all this stuff like and you say that you can't get past that judgment, I think that's okay to a certain extent because of what you believe and that's fine to stick to your beliefs. My problem is when those beliefs overtake what you encapsulate as the actual person themselves. I don't have to believe what another person believes, that's fine. Just don't be a shit person Like. I guess that's where I'm trying to get off at.
Speaker 2:Okay, we made it to the end of the episode.
Speaker 1:The funny thing is you've only asked one question this entire time.
Speaker 2:Like I said, it's a different vibe today. It's a different vibe and, more than anything, that conversation blossomed into multiple discussions about different things. Anything that conversation blossomed into multiple discussions about different things because mistakes and judgment that all comes naturally to us. I feel like we're always going to be judgmental of something in some way. We're always going to make mistakes, so being able to talk to someone about it freely, I just think it's it's. It's interesting to see where people's head and mindset goes with it, because some people can't handle mistakes, some people can't handle judgment, some people can't truly discuss these things without overloading kind of thing and, as you can see, things going on in my world have been altered because of judgment and every day I feel like I'm finding moments where I'm struggling and it's important to talk about it. But with that being said, we've talked about everything that we want to talk about today and I only have one more question for you, number two how do you feel?
Speaker 1:I feel fine, I feel good. I feel like this entire conversation. This, as you always say, it's the pot. We're here. Sometimes things go off the rails, but it's okay. I'm finishing up my wine and I am good, despite the Android versus Don't do it to yourself, don't do it to yourself. We could have ended this conversation without you.
Speaker 2:No, you're doing this to yourself. No, no See, we're saying this is what happens. This is what happens. We could have had a great little end in there. It could have been real sweet and sweet, but then you tried to throw it in there, trying to be the last word. Ain't gonna happen, it ain't gonna happen. Black man Talking Emotions podcast. Folks, I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. The opening quote credit goes to Ian McKay and shout out to Nick for being on the pod. Follow Nick at NICTbone on Instagram. Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us a good rating. Five stars, please, and thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. Also, tell me your plans for the coming year. We should collab. I would love to work with you. Me your plans for the coming year. We should collab. I would love to work with you. Follow me at D-O-M underscore L-A-M-O-U-R on Instagram or at DomLamorecom. I'm Dom Lamore. Much love.
