"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
Navigating Fatherhood and the Digital Age with Scotty
Dom L'Amour speaks with good friend Scotty Jones AKA @theekinleyjones2 about raising children, working with a baby mama, growing up in the internet age, and so much more.
There is nothing quite like the roller coaster side of raising kids in our fast-paced, digital world. That's why I invited my good friend Scotty to join me on the Black man Talking Emotions podcast, where we peel back the layers of our hearts and histories. Together, we dissect the dualities of our affection and critique for Kirkwood, the town that shaped us, and the pull we feel towards its growth and progress. We wander through the complex maze of parenting and relationships with our children, sharing the sweet victories and silent struggles that don't make it to social media.
Scotty and I don't hold back on the raw truths; we wade into the murky waters of co-parenting, battling stereotypes, and the delicate balance of public image. Nostalgia hits hard as we reminisce about the athletic endeavors of our children, recognizing our own youthful reflections in their growing interests and challenges. Our conversation is a testament to the strength of fathers and the silent battles often fought behind closed profiles. We're here to uplift and bear witness to the unseen efforts of resilient dads everywhere.
We round out our heart-to-heart with a deep dive into the omnipresence of social media in our lives—from the evolution of our digital personas to the unexpected shifts in societal norms it has spurred. The impact is undeniable, as we reflect on the role platforms play in movements like Black Lives Matter and global awareness, while yearning for simpler online interactions. So, plug in and join us for a journey that celebrates the raw, unfiltered moments of fatherhood and the authenticity we strive to maintain in a world that's always watching.
Opening quote: munia khan
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Featured song:
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @doml_amour on Instagram. Or at
It does start with all of us and it's like we just kind of slowly need to put it down and it's like some of the best times I've had, even as of lately, haven't been documented on social media. They were great times and they were really great because I wasn't worried about anybody else seeing it or having my phone out the whole time. It's like I feel it's like you think that you're really engaging people but at the same time, you're focused on being in your phone.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen and anyone else who is here, my name is Dom Lamor and you are listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast On today's episode. I welcome Scotty back to the pod. On today's episode we speak about raising children, working with a baby mama, growing up in an internet age and so much more. Life is full of electric desires where one dreams spliced with currents of wires leading our footsteps to the online shore. We expect the waves to bring us some more of those binary tides to wash us away to the cyber beach for a lonesome day.
Speaker 1:You're such a classy beach.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you very much. Of course, last episode was the Kirkwood Chronicles. I thought that was a really, really fun episode and it was one of the top five episodes of the year. A lot of people wanted to listen. We had people who was interested. We had people who thought it was fascinating, which kind of blew my mind, because I have people in France that listen to this. I have people all over the country, LA and St Louis of course, has a majority of the fans, but I didn't think that people would just gravitate towards that and that kind of made me happy because it was something that I was fascinated about and I love having conversations with you and catching up and making sure you're good. I don't want to focus on Kirkwood because I feel like every time we talk, we usually come back to it and in ways that almost feel like it's negative. It almost feels like we didn't enjoy our hometown. But one thing I want to make sure I establish while I'm talking right now is that we love Kirkwood. Am I wrong?
Speaker 1:I mean, I absolutely love my hometown.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we love Kirkwood.
Speaker 1:And I think the reason that I love Kirkwood so much is because I always tell people I'm like, we're like the outside of Webster, we're like the closest county school to the city. You know what I mean it's like. So I feel like we aren't really a suburban town. I feel like we are in the verbs, quote, unquote, but it doesn't feel like Pleasantville.
Speaker 2:And most of the time when I tell people I went to Kirkwood, you know they be like where are you from? I'm from St Louis, when you go to school Kirkwood oh, that's dope. They don't be like, oh, that's not in St Louis. They immediately oh that's dope, yeah, you went to Kirkwood, Cool cool. I totally agree with you. It's the same thing. We had this interesting history where it's the first city that was developed outside of St Louis, so it already has this long, rich history, with the railroad connecting directly from Kirkwood to Union Station downtown and we had all of that energy where you know. Of course, most of the people from Kirkwood went to Frederick Douglass and Webster, so we were always connected through Adams and Lockwood. Getting over there was easy. I enjoy my hometown, I love the history out there. There's nothing better the only thing that can measure to me being back in Kirkwood and walking down Argyle and going to the farmers market other than that Argyle.
Speaker 1:Argyle is the fatter.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm sorry, argyle, leave me alone. Other than walking down that street close to Main Street and going past the train station, the only other feeling that I may enjoy more than being in Kirkwood is when I see the arch going across the bridge from Illinois, because I know that I'm back. I'm here Like I passed that arch and I'm like I'm in St Louis, I'm back home. That's what it's all about. So I wanted to start off by first acknowledging to anyone who's listening Scotty and I.
Speaker 2:Scotty and I Truly like our hometown. We do not hate our hometown, we just are just like anyone else. When it comes down to something you know, something that you love, you always wanna see it improve.
Speaker 2:You always wanna speak honestly about it and I'm not gonna sit up here and act like I didn't know some of the shit that Kirkwood was doing. I mean I was you remember when the thing happened with Cookie at City Hall Like my family knew that person so like it was very connected to us. Usually, if it's in Kirkwood and you hit me up like hey, I know someone from Kirkwood, I usually know the person or someone they know because that's the hometown, that's the love, that's what it's all about. And I never want people to hear this podcast One and think I hate my hometown, kirkwood.
Speaker 2:One and think I hate my college, southeast Missouri State University. Usually I talk negatively about these things because you're like asking about my feelings about them and I'm gonna be honest about my feelings. But when it comes down to it, if you were like Dominique, you gotta choose a city other than where you live now to raise your babies when you have them, and I'm gonna be like I'll go back on the Kirkwood. That is not a discussion. I love my hometown. I know that there are people there who are always fighting to help shape the world the way that I want it to be as well, and I'm not against that in any way. With all of that out of the way.
Speaker 1:All right All right this episode.
Speaker 2:I wanted to talk to you about a couple of different things. I remember we originally had spoken about the idea of toxic masculinity and male biases and stereotypes and different things like that. And I see you're growing and you're raising your son now and your daughter is like a grown up almost, but you get to have your son in town with you and that relationship I can see on your Facebook and Instagram or whatever you post on when you have it on, because you usually be switching it up on people. Whenever I get a chance to see the baby, I see you're always there. You're always in his life. That's just so dope to me. Just tell me more about your relationship with your children, how you are doing mentally with all of that and just how it's going.
Speaker 1:I always tell people it's very different with Cody compared to Kenley, because Kenley lives in Kentucky, obviously, so it was like going down there seeing her spending the time with Cody. I have him every other week Once. During the weeks I don't have him he's only two, but I feel like I've had him for so much longer than that. Just because I'm seeing all those little development steps that I miss with Kenley like ABCs, him counting, him singing songs onto the TV and being seeing him work his iPad and just doing all those things it really blows my mind and it really just makes me a lot more conscious of how I want to do things as I get older and how I move with him in general.
Speaker 1:It's like I'll be out doing something and I'll see other people. I was like, oh, that's cool, that's neat, I need to keep that in my back pocket. Or it's like when over Christmas break we all went to the art museum and went to the hip hop thing there and did that culture thing and just being able to take him to do all of that stuff, it's just very I'm very fortunate and very happy that I get to experience these things, because I didn't get to do a lot of that with her. And then it makes it even better when I get to take him down there to see her and it's like having them interact with each other is priceless. You know what I mean, like being able to see them interact and be with each other and like Kenley's teen Cody's only two, so it's like he's not even really understanding, but it's like Kenley's in like big sister mode the whole time. She's with him and it's just really cool to being able to see that dynamic and being able to have them together like that.
Speaker 2:Since they aren't living with each other, do you feel like Kenley has a more healthy relationship with him?
Speaker 1:I think so, because she makes sure to like talk to him and that's her only sibling, so it's like she really embraces that role and always wants to like move around. She always wants to do everything. I'm like do your thing, like go ahead. Like I want you to develop and have your own relationships, Like I don't want to just be that hovering figure over both of you. It's like I want you to just be able to have that free sibling time, like how mean you had with our siblings and stuff.
Speaker 2:So how are you doing with Kenley being so far away? Still, has it been better for you, because I know that y'all had some struggles early on with not being able to get there or not being able to have her sometimes Like, how are you been doing with that?
Speaker 1:A lot better and it's like technology, like we FaceTime all the time. We talk on the phone, we text, we do all of that. So it's like it's gotten a lot healthier. Just because we are able to interact a lot more daily because of how old she is and the new technologies with that, it's another thing. It's like I'm super grateful for the iPhone Like shout out to iPhones being able to FaceTime, like so just really being able to, even though we're like far away, it's like we're still very connected and I feel like more than ever because it's not a filtered relationship anymore. It's like I don't have to call her mom to talk to her or anything. It's like I can just call her directly or just send a text or we FaceTime her. However, we want to talk. So, no, it's been very healthy and productive for sure.
Speaker 2:That's so dope the audience here are very familiar with. One of my biggest fears is being a baby daddy, and it's facts, dude and.
Speaker 2:I wanted to make sure that I said that I'll allow while I talk it to you Because I don't want people to think why ain't Dominique talk about it? He's so scared of that? It's true, I petrified it Because I grew up in a house where my uncle hurled and my cousins, mo and Van, and all these horrible people they're not horrible people, they're just misguided but they had to really go through a lot of stuff. My uncle Timmy had to go through some really hard stuff with baby mama drama to a point where he had a kid but realized it wasn't his kid and my uncle hurled. They had to struggle with getting custody and actually being able to see their kid and people using their child as a weapon against them.
Speaker 2:That just horrifies me and I'm so fortunate that as of now I'm not gonna wood, I'm a good enough husband and I don't think Adrian's gonna leave me. But I always like checking in on you and the homie Chester and different people out there that are in situations where they have to kind of grow this relationship with someone that they aren't with anymore, because it's so difficult to be in that position. I can only imagine For real and, like I said, you say you're in a better place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's definitely not easy. It was a lot of money at one time. But I always tell people I'm like I'm glad I did it with Cody. Now, so down the line, it's like already established. You know what I mean. It's like I don't have to worry about Visitations and holidays and all that stuff. It's like it's already done and it's like as much as it's stuck having to go through that process and meetings and mediation and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day I have like tons of access to my son that nobody can take at the end of the day. You know what I mean. So shout out to the dads like we get a bad rap a lot of time. So it's like being able to just be in present in your kids life, whether it's your kid, your girlfriend, son, like anybody just being that like positive, like figure in a young kids life Is huge. And I feel like sometimes dads don't really get the same Applause as moms do. But don't get me wrong. Mom does a ton because kids are running to mom or grandma or whoever majority of the time, but the dad does a lot behind the scenes too and influence a lot.
Speaker 2:You know, like that is such a big part of a kid's life. When dad comes in the room, they know that's dad, you know, and they know that he has a certain authority or he has a certain expectation for them and and they want to make him proud as well. I hate when I hear those narratives about you know, deadbeat dads or people not being in their kids life and this and that, but then they don't look at the person weaponizing the child and say that they're wrong in any way or they might not get the full story and they just latch on to one half of the equation and then downplay how Someone is treating their kid or how they're raising their kid and it's like you don't even know what's going on. Mind your business like I'm a father, I'm with my child, my doing what I can for my child, the world we live in. You get to this place where you can literally go on Tic-Tac or any social media and deep dive into just like these kind of dramas between women and their baby daddies and One the shit that they put online Talking bad about their people.
Speaker 2:I had a net. I'm gonna say nephew, I don't have any nephews, but I'm gonna say nephew, and he was dealing with the problem with his baby mama not being able to see the Kid. The baby mama was being very honest to the people online I don't care that I'm wrong, but I don't want him seeing my baby because I just don't want like that, no reason, just was being andre and being like I don't care, that it's mean, I don't care, it's wrong, I can do it, so I'm doing it. That's how she was acting and I was just like that's horrible.
Speaker 2:But then when he got online talking about this bitch, that, this bitch, that this, this, this, now like I got DM'd and like yo Don't be online doing that. Don't be out here Talking reckless to the woman of your child. I know she's a horrible person, I know she ain't right, I know that she should be thrown in jail for the way that she's doing you right now, but don't put your business out there. And it really broke my heart because I shouldn't have to do that because, honestly, he had every right to do that.
Speaker 2:He had every right to say how he felt he had every right to really fully express himself. But you know that's gonna be on the internet for half.
Speaker 1:You know and yeah, and I feel like social media, everything like it's people and their emotions really fast because it comes at you so fast. Like you said, of course she's doing that to get a reaction out of him but, like you said, ultimately him responding makes him look so much worse.
Speaker 1:Yes than anything that she said. It's like what my dad used to always tell us about sports the second person is always gonna get caught. So, no matter what she said first, your retaliation is gonna be way worse because you're a dude. It's gonna be seen as like oh, you're being overly aggressive and you're just attacking her, but it's like remember what? Why even said this in the first place? Like this doesn't. This didn't come out of anywhere. It was like I was prompted to do this. But like you said it's, there's a certain things you can't do as a dad. It sucks, but it's like you can't be that guy.
Speaker 2:I don't feel like I've seen you do anything like that, but like, when did you get to the place where you are now, where you understand how you have to present yourself publicly for your kid and being able to communicate with your partners, with your child? How long do you think it took you to get to where you are now, because I know it's been a struggle for you. How long did you go through this?
Speaker 1:probably like within the past, like probably like two years, but it's just because you know me, I'm keep a very like low Profile anyway. So even if, like if I wouldn't have told you or anybody, nobody- would even you keep a low profile online.
Speaker 1:But in life, but even in life, it's like a lot of unless I tell. Unless I tell people what's really going on, yeah, they would just assume that, oh, everything's fine. It's like they would have no idea that it was like this whole All struggle to get to this point, to letting things go like not snapping back off it's been a process, because I don't want anybody to get one up on me. So it's like you're gonna say something crazy, I'm gonna say something just a little bit crazier to make you just that bit more mad, and that's just like I want to get that last word after I said what I said. I don't care anymore, like you can keep talking, but it's like I already said what I said, enough to make you this mad. So I ultimately already won the war at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:But I would say Honestly, since, probably since Kogi came around, I think I've just kind of been a lot more. I'm like you know what it is. What it is like it's gonna work itself out. There's no reason to get more Upset about a situation. It's gonna work itself out.
Speaker 2:I feel like I've only met Cody a couple times. I hope to meet him again soon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you met him. You met him. He was cuz. Yeah, he was baby baby. Yeah, my mom brought him up there to rehearsal dinner he was super little.
Speaker 2:In like he's growing into a little you, it's, it's. It's hilarious how much he reminds me of you and you remind me of your mother and your pops like y'all are like a perfect mix of you are a perfect mix of Ramona. In the fact that he is just a little, you just blows my mind. Yeah, he's, he's definitely a character for sure, safely so Like personality things you notice that he has that you do like. Do you see any of your personality in him yet, kind of?
Speaker 1:not really kind of. I think he's very much, he's very he's actually cool.
Speaker 2:He's like the cool.
Speaker 1:He's very, he's very much kind of like his own person. It's like he does his stuff, like he loves watching Mickey Mouse and singing the songs off of there. He does love sports and it's like I just think, cuz we have him on all the time and he's around them very often, but he's very much like Developing his own person, I. But he's going through the terrible twos right now and it's terrible like he's. And he's not a little he's. I mean obviously age-wise he's little, but like size-wise he's not little. So it's like when he's throwing himself around and having tantrums and running in the store and just falling out, it's like it's. It's extra dramatic just because I'm like bro, I'm like you're not like a little kid, I'm like so you're heavy, like I'm picking you up in Carrying you all around the store, like around the mall for Hours. It's like it gets weighing, it's tiring, I mean you just.
Speaker 1:It's just payback for you being a little spoiled boy, all you like man and that's why I definitely like, because we'll be, we'll be around like Some of like our extended family and just people and they're like man. They're like he acts a lot like you when you were that age and stuff, and I'm just like I can't even like comprehend All of that. So it's yeah. So I definitely feel like it's payback for sure for how I was To everybody else. He's very much a sour patch. He's very sour and sweet.
Speaker 2:I Was talking to agent the other day. Man Well, we was watching, I was watching basketball, but then I forget who got injured football wise. But something happened football wise that she was just like never, kids, never gonna play football. This, and I've always never. You know, I like basketball. If I ever have a kid, I won't play the baseball basketball, or we can get them into soccer, that be dope. But I don't think you can really get an American player to be as good as all the European players in soccer. But what, that being said, like what is that? Are you even thinking about that yet, cuz your family is such a sports?
Speaker 1:Of course I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like what is your thoughts about football and and putting them through that, because I know that I mean your football players.
Speaker 1:Yeah, way different for you, I'm sure, right my theory has always been if he Asked me to play, I'm gonna let him play, because I mean obviously I want him to. But I do understand that it's football is like definitely Dangerous, is there's so many risk factors? But then you think about your son catching a touchdown pass, like it's just that's what I was.
Speaker 2:It's I assumed you would be like, but I remember how it felt on the yeah, like it's.
Speaker 1:It's different. It's like you don't like it's. It's very much a feeling you can't. I feel like the only thing that's probably equivalent of scoring a touchdown is like hitting a home run in baseball. You know what I mean, because it's like you're, you're out there by yourself, like you're out alone, like on that island, and just like like being able to have that like Feeling and stuff. So it's like I'm very much not against my, my kid, playing football at all, like I'm not against any kid playing football.
Speaker 1:But I feel like you have to know your kid and know the Precautions and things that come with it and make sure you're doing the proper things To ensure that they're not going to have that major injury. Or if, like, you realize that, hey, they're not liking this as much as I'm liking this for them, you need to like pull them out like it's not. Like football is not a sport where you can just be standing around and just be Kind of want to do it. It's like you have to be really locked in that whole time while you're there. So it's like, yeah, no, I would. I would definitely love for them to play. I'm not probably going to necessarily like rush them out there per se.
Speaker 2:How about, kindly, is she doing any sports?
Speaker 1:She does competitive cheer and Jen. Yeah, I was like I think she's a cheerleader right. Yeah, very, very the girl stuff. So like that's not really too much of a worry or concern. It's like she's more worried about getting a Stanley Cup at this time. Like I Don't understand the Stanley Cubs, but that's like she's very much in her TikTok dance, stanley Cup, uggs era. Oh man, yeah, like that's, that's, she's very much a kid of the generation for sure.
Speaker 2:And she's a girly girl too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's like what she's in the country, so it's like she does her four-wheelers and that stuff, but it's like she's a tick tocker for sure.
Speaker 2:Are you? Are you okay with that, because I know there's a lot of people who don't enjoy their kid. I mean she's 10 years old. Social media at that age. Like you cool with that?
Speaker 1:I mean I think it's cool because her mom monitors it, because I don't have a tiktok or anything, so but I feel like for the most part it's not bad. It's just like I can't I kind of equivariate. It like To win like the crank that dances were pretty big, it's like I feel like, for the most part, that's all what kids on tiktok are doing.
Speaker 1:They're doing these dances and voiceover things and I guess I don't really like all the way understand it to that deeply. But I think she's like in the safe space of tiktok, like she just wants to dance and do that stuff with her friends. So I'm like I'm cool with it because it's still very like regulated. It's not like she's just out here While in doing whatever she wants.
Speaker 2:So see before we go to the next subject. This is kind of lean into that subject with the internet stuff. But tiktok, for some reason I'm just like you. I don't have a strong Craving for it. I remember when it first came out and the first month that I had it, I found myself like I'll post something and then I'll be on tiktok for like two hours and it just you don't even think about it, like you just scroll up, scroll up, scroll up, scroll up, scroll up, scroll up, scroll up. Two hours past you like yo, what did I do? You know, yeah, why aren't you on it? Is it the same thing where you just kind of like I try not to be on social media more, as it is specifically that?
Speaker 1:app. I think. I think it's just more that app, because I'm like I don't really Care, like I feel like, as far as like I'm not gonna be on there doing dances.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not on there. I'm not on there like gonna be doing any of those Random challenges like none. It's just really not that appealing to me. You know what I mean. Like I don't, I'm not the tiktok and, honestly, if Half of what I like on Instagram is it wasn't for the sports me to the clothe, the clothing yeah, like being able to follow some of like your favorite like musicians, being able to get like Exclusive access to certain things, I wouldn't have Instagram either.
Speaker 1:Like I don't feel like I'm missing anything, not having my Facebook Snapchat is what it is. I barely am on there, but it's like. But, like I said, I feel like I use Instagram for everything else except for really like posting Stuff that I should be posting. It's like I'm looking at everything Else and it's like and it's like the people I'm connected to. I talk to them in real life Half the time. It's like funny to be able to send them random stuff on Instagram. But, yeah, I don't like Use Instagram. That's not like my only Channel of how I talk to the people in my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like recently the DM and the groups in the like messaging part of of Instagram has become the main focus. I'll get on, I've put something on my story and then I'll be talking to my basketball Instagram group or my Wedding band Instagram group. Like I have multiple groups of messages where you go on and you're really just communicating with them through there and then also they're sending you different you know memes and stuff that's going on, but then also they're sending you news, like I'm, I learned my news on Instagram. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of bizarre the old man approach to it, I guess, cuz, yeah, I wouldn't get rid of it because of two reasons those communication lines. They usually send me messages through that and it's like did you not check your Instagram? I was like I got it. I got to keep it for that reason also, of course, like sidebar, I keep it because, like of my goddaughters and seeing new pictures of them and on the stories I'm seeing all of you know other people's babies, that I'm like the uncle A Jason, you know different stuff like that.
Speaker 2:So it's hard to be like I'm not gonna be on social media anymore. Screw it, I don't. I'm a rebel is like I'm not gonna do that because I listen out on the little small things. Yes, I call the homie mark all the time, so getting his little memes aren't really that important. But I don't get to call my goddaughters every day I don't exactly, you know and I get to see them living. I get to see my girl, hannah just had a baby and I just saw today that the baby just learned how to roll over. Like you know, I'm getting to see the baby progress and shit like that. That makes it very difficult to be like okay, I'm gonna get rid of this. But also I'm not getting on there thinking, oh man, I'm gonna post, this post is gonna go viral and that's it, baby.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like I don't. I don't ever think about Any of that stuff. It's like I'm never trying to get on there for to go viral or to get social media famous. It's like I I feel like being an influencer would be very exhausting After.
Speaker 2:I mean it's exhausting being a performer and doing the show and doing this and trying to get People to pay attention to it, and it's like I'm finding myself not really fighting it anymore. I'm finding myself being like I'm post what I post and hopefully people get it. I'm gonna maybe pay for any promotion and hopefully people see that. I sold the show out in St Louis and I posted it on Instagram. So I'm like maybe that was how it got sold out. I don't know, or maybe it was the people I texted it directly. I'm not, yeah, but I just know that I did it because that's the place you see people.
Speaker 1:That's the yeah, and it's like I will say. I do see some like St Louis, quote-unquote, like content creators, and I'm like you. I could do better than them. I know I know more places than they go to. Or it's like even the places that they post. Sometimes I'm like this is where you chose to go for your like restaurant of the week type. You know what I mean? It's just like little things like that. But then at the end of the day, I'm just like man, I don't care, I like living my social media life how it is, and half the time it's just I'm on there trying to keep up with sports and see when a clothing line is opening up their website so I can get the early access to it. Like that's half the time. So, yeah, it's the same what you say. It's like I'm gonna post something. I'm gonna post this picture of Cody doing something. Y'all are gonna look at it. You're gonna like it or not. Either way, I liked it so and I like the music I picked for the Batgirl.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you wanted to talk about breakups in the internet air. Now, we're not gonna talk about breakups, yeah, but the dating and the communication with the internet air is fascinating to me. Like I said, a lot of communication with people happens on Snapchat or happens on Instagram and me I'm not gonna talk about it. I'm not gonna talk about it. I'm not gonna talk about it. I'm not gonna talk about it. Snapchat or happens on Instagram and me.
Speaker 2:I stopped using Snapchat a long time ago, but when I used it, snapchat was the app that I would get in touch with. Like maybe there'd be like 20 people that they only use Snapchat, so that was how I would communicate with them. Now I just text them directly, kind of thing, but that was their go-to communication and sometimes if I send them a text or I send them a Snapchat, they don't answer the Snapchat before they answer the text. Yeah, so I'm curious to kind of know about you, because I always tell people Scotty is the only person I know that when social media started, not like, not like now when Snapchat I'm talking about Facebook 2005, 2006,.
Speaker 1:AOL Instagram.
Speaker 2:Yeah when we were on Black Planet, shout out to Black Planet. When we were on those social media, you already had figured out the game. You already was like I gotta make sure I communicate with these people on this social media. I gotta make sure that I block people on this. You know how to use the block stuff. I didn't even know it existed and you were already doing these secret messages. That is like, oh, that was you the only person that could read that. And it's like how do you do this? How do you know this? What it what it comes to? Social media. And then the dating aspect of being just a kid with this power to communicate with people all over the city, just kind of walk through like your initial existence with it. Like how was it for you getting the instant messenger and being able to say, okay, I could do this? Like what was the power that you felt you created with it?
Speaker 1:I think that social media and stuff has always been very easy to me because I feel like I can write a lot better than I can say things sometimes. So if I can be put in a position where I can describe myself and talk, being myself just through messages and typing things out and like being able to have a little bit of time to really put into words what I want to say, I think that's kind of been my benefit, because I feel like sometimes people are like oh, just get me in person and we can go for it. It's like, well, I'm dope in person and online.
Speaker 1:So it's like yeah it's like I'm going to give you that little tease online, but then it's like you get to understand me. And then it's like when you meet me in person, it's like, oh man, it's like you're more dope in person than you are online. So it's like you.
Speaker 1:I feel like I like social media because you can give people the taste of you until you want to give them more, and I feel like that's why I've always been able to wiggle through social media like that. It's like my dad is extremely good with words and how he puts things together and it's always been trickled down to me. I feel like just how like being able to talk through song and things like that, just being able to describe yourself in that way or describe your feelings, and I feel like that's why social media has always been like that for me, and even since we were younger. It's like I'm always posting song lyrics and things like that and it's like they always have kind of like an undertone. It's like I'm not just posting this lyric because I liked the song. It's like I'm posting it for a very specific reason, for a very specific target audience, and that person or group is going to know exactly who it's for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I never even looked at it that way. I still feel like this caveman and I still feel like a caveman. I remember when social media started with like Black Planet in my space. Those were like the two that I had at first. That's why I think I'm not that into it now because, like the ones that I really liked were the ones that kind of fizzled away.
Speaker 2:And I was like I used to love Black Planet, I used to love my space and they're just gone and it's like and then it's like I was enjoying Facebook. And then people were like, oh people on Facebook. And I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna move to Instagram. And they were like oh people on Instagram. I'm like what? I'm so blown away with how fast it moves. I don't even know what the kids are using it anymore.
Speaker 1:And I don't really feel like Instagram is for old people. I feel like I do feel like Facebook is for sure, and that's why I tell people I'm like half the reason I don't have Facebook is because I have to be too nice on Facebook, like I don't want to have to be overly pleasant, because then it's like if you post something on Facebook and then it's like kind of like dark or whatever your mom is going to take you, like like I don't, I don't even what it's like, I don't even want to have to worry about that. I want to be able to post on my story fuck bitches, get money, we outside, and it's not the and I it's not an issue.
Speaker 1:It's like yeah it's what it's like. I want to be able to post multiple bottles on my story and that me and my friends are doing X, y and Z and it's just is what it is and we're gonna get some heart reactions and we're gonna keep it pushing like it's not. It's not that deep and I feel like facebook makes it get that deep.
Speaker 2:I was just having this discussion earlier today when you know you put yourself in certain circles. We live in a society where, like certain circles, you have to act a certain way. If you're in politics, you know you can't. You can't curse politics. You get, you got to talk proper and your business casual. But then you know, when you're on social media are you with the people or you're in in a bar, then you could be your true self. It's kind of crazy to see people putting on this act and then go into another circle and be like, oh, this is how I really am but they don't yeah like that.
Speaker 2:We know you don't act like that. We don't know you don't talk like that, we know you don't do this. And then there's certain people that come into those arenas and Switch it up and like, you see this guy in politics talking crazy or or cursing, and you're like, oh my god. Oh and it's like that's how you talking right now, looking at the video. You know like I hate that Feeling. I wish, I wish america was more like europe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, where's this?
Speaker 2:very you know you know, you can be watching tv in europe and someone's starting to be like you, fucking wanker, and it's like this is on tv, yeah. You're like what is going on it, but it's like why are you shocked? Of course is on tv. That's how people talk. You know what I'm saying and I get that. Facebook, I think linkedin is another social media when you know you got to talk and act a certain way in your business On linkedin and it's just this old people app for networking.
Speaker 1:It's like I don't even have a linkedin like as much and I don't even think about it from I'm a social media site. It's like I just just another thing that I don't want to update, but it's funny. It's like you hear people saying, like Girls get dms on linkedin. I'm like what it's like y'all? It's like y'all are not that desperate or thirsty that you have to slide into a woman's like working Social media.
Speaker 2:It's like well, I don't. I don't look at it as as desperate or this and that there are some people in this world that are just very particular and they might be on linkedin recruiting, looking for people that they see and they're like, hold on, wait a minute, this is a good-looking woman who actually has a great job. I bet you has a four. Okay, I bet you she. Uh. Oh, she lives in this san francisco and and she's a real estate. They like see all of the stuff that they want in a lover, and that's what they're like. You know, maybe we should get some coffee, you know? I mean like, and it.
Speaker 1:why me like in that aspect. It's like, okay, look them up, you see that you like that, go add them and send that. On anything else except for that Like, it's just like because I get it, I do, I understand exactly how you're saying it from that aspect, but it's like that's just overly thirsty and it's like I could, I like could not be a female in the social media world. Oh man, absolutely not. Yeah, yeah, like that, just like I, I I couldn't even imagine just from the stuff that I've seen. So it's like dude.
Speaker 2:How often have you had a text with someone, or instagram or facebook, with someone that you hadn't talked to in a long time, and you just scroll up and see the last message you sent to him and it was like 2007 and it was one of those collages of like uh, ex. The mark next to if you would kiss me, talk to me, like me All. Like, how often has that happened to you? Because that happened to me just last week and I was like, uh, I had to Delete it. I was like I can't believe. I sent this out to somebody.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't say that often because I'm kind of like the block came.
Speaker 2:So it's like no.
Speaker 1:But not. But I was like on the opposite and it's like I'm the one that would stop getting blocked because they end up being like end of getting mad or Something. So then if one that like does reoccur, that it like opens back up or something, it's like, oh man, like I haven't heard from you in like four or five years type situation. So it happens like far and few between. Like I said, I feel like most of the people that I'm in contact with it's been a very like Steady. Wow, you know what I mean. It's like I keep the circle pretty, like, pretty tight, like there might be some new people that come into it, but even if they're new that come into it, I integrate them Into the other aspects of my life. So it's like they know, like everybody who's involved in everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I feel like I'm the opposite. I'm just not good with it and that's what sucks the most because you know you put yourself in these positions and you networking, you're trying to Advance yourself in your field or whatever you want to work in, and I truly try to give myself a hundred percent. I put a hundred and ten towards everything, like I'm really gonna try to be good at this stuff and it's just not good at some things. And social media and chiseled happens To be the thing I'm horrible at, you know. Yeah, I'm really good at talking to people in person, I'm really good at hanging out, if you like. Hey, dominique, give me an example of like a night that you put together with your wife. Here's a great example. The other day I was like, hey, babe, I was thinking that we should go to the Jimmy Carter presidential library because I think that that would be a lot of fun. My wife is a daughter of a history teacher, so going to learn history about a professor is right in her alley. I was like I think we should go to Jimmy Carter presidential place, then we should go to Martin Luther King and Coretta Scott King's grave and show our respects, and then we should go to slutty vegan and get a couple of burgers and hang out later on and then we can have dinner With one of your friends, like we had a whole day mapped out. It was so much fun, it was such a dope day with my wife and it was in person.
Speaker 2:I didn't have my phone in my hand. I took maybe six pictures at most. I don't even think I took that many pictures. I took a picture of us being at Martin Luther King. I took a picture of us being at the Jimmy Carter presidential thing. I took a picture of the back from slutty vegan and I think that's all I did, because I wanted to be in the moment. I wanted to enjoy the moment and I didn't find any use for pushing any videos or creating any reels or trying to Create this illusion that. Look at how cool my world is like fuck y'all, I don't care about y'all, I'm gonna live our life, enjoy what we doing, you know.
Speaker 1:I definitely agree with that. I try to very much live in the moment, to like just think about as we were coming up, like think about all those times we were walking back and forth from the high school to your grandparents. Yeah and college, like going to 1014, like just all of those times 10, 14, wow, that is an old.
Speaker 1:Have social media or our phones out all the time, like recording those moments and those are some of the best times, yeah, we ever had is because we were very Present in that moment. Like, think about how much different those bacc trips would have been if we had social media. You know what I mean. Like, yeah, we wouldn't have been, we wouldn't have been in the moment how we were, we wouldn't have been Focused on just having fun. It's like we would have been trying to put we're in Atlanta, we're at the end. You know what I mean. It would just be a lot of all of that, but it's like, since we didn't have that, I feel like that's why some of those were some of the best times we ever had. And now being grown and doing the same thing, just being very Present in the moment with what you're doing it makes a world of difference because it's just those core memories that you can share and have For yourself.
Speaker 2:I agree. I can only imagine when we went to Atlanta. That trip was so much fun and DC trip was so much fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, the Virginia trip. Like I wouldn't have wanted to be on my we would. I mean, I think about this all the time just how quickly I became addicted to my phone in In the years that we've had with it. Yeah, versus Before, when we had the Nokia you know I was I was able to text people without my phone being in my face. You know I would have my pocket and I would text, so it took away screen time. I didn't need to look at my phone to text somebody back. You know I'm just putting my pocket out. Text them right quick, get it out there real quick, put it back in my phone. It wasn't anything to look at was a green screen with black letters. That was all it was, and and.
Speaker 2:To get to a place now where, literally, I Could watch the basketball game live on my phone you know saying Streaming it. I could stream that. I could be checking my emails with the screen on the same screen While I'm doing work. It's so crazy where we are as a society. That's the next question for you. How do you feel we're going like? Do you think, living with social media, dating with social media, just having your whole life Exposed to the world. Do you think this is gonna go in a better way? Is there any way that we can improve Living like this?
Speaker 1:I kind of feel like people are kind of getting tired of social media to an extent.
Speaker 1:Yeah hopefully we can just go back to social media being more just for fun and not for as serious. I do like it, though, for certain aspects like Black Lives Matter movement. Yeah, I like that we have social media for those type of instances so people can go live during like a crazy situations with cops or like crazy situations with neighbors, so people can like be overly exposed to how things really are. But outside of that it's like social media has become way more of a distraction than it being beneficial.
Speaker 2:I thought about this for a while, actually about where I think the world will go, and in many ways I do see the benefits. You know, this is something that I will only say this line about and People listening. If you want to know why, just you can contact me straight. But this is real Palestinian thing is so hard for me to talk about, to throw my voice into, because it's so complicated. So, yeah, having social media makes things like this more understandable for people who want to do the research.
Speaker 1:Well, and that's what I said, I definitely like as far as like news-wise yeah, like it gives more reporters more like access to give people a deeper dive into what's going on, like those reporters that are on Like boots on the ground.
Speaker 2:We are a were able. Just people, not even reporters, just yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like we're able to see it from a very real time Perspective. So that's why I think one of the like things that my that's my dad's ever said, and it's kind of like been about like social media and just
